That was an excellent one.

Memorable, crazy movie

A lot of fun.

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

If you are expecting to see a film featuring the Viz comic strip characters Sandra Burke and Tracey Tunstall you will be disappointed. The characters in the movie are different. They have different personalities and are portrayed in a more favourable and sympathetic light. In the comic strip the girls are disgustingly loutish rude and bullying. In the movie they are more sensitive and likable. The film itself is pretty dreadful although not totally unwatchable and you can fast forward through the worst bits. The story, script, acting - everything really - are all bad. It has a few - very few - good moments. I give it two stars as there are worse films out there. Conclusion: there was only ever going to be one reason to watch this film and that was to see the Fat Slags, but, as they are not in the movie, there really is no reason to watch this film.

I saw the DVD cover for this film, based on the crude comic strip in Viz, I thought it was some sort of porn film or something, but it was just an excuse for gross-out humour, from director Ed Bye (Kevin & Perry Go Large). Basically vulgar and crass, booze swilling, kebab scoffing, over-weight nymphomaniacs Sandra (Smack the Pony's Fiona Allen) and Tracey (Sophie Thompson), living on S*** Street, Fulchester, north England are your typical fat women with no chance at making something of themselves. That is until American billionaire Sean Cooley (Scream 2's Jerry O'Connell) gets a blow to the head, gaining a new insane personality, finding the two fat slags the most beautiful women on Earth, seeing them on a daytime TV chat show. He is determined to make stars of them, and forces fashion designer Fidor Konstantin (Notting Hill's James Dreyfus) to put them on stage to model, which only works when they get their knockers out. Soon Sandra and Tracey are taking over the UK with a number one record, winning the Turner Prize, and making fat the new black, always maintaining their vulgarity, innocence and stupidity. But wanting attention from Sean, growing jealousy is drawing the two women apart, until of course he suffers the blow to the head getting him back to normal, and ending their success. They do however find a way to steal all the money he made from their fame, and make him out to be a criminal, before he is knocked again, and they return to near regular lives, being vulgar. Also starring Anthony Head as Victor, Geri Halliwell as Paige, Naomi Campbell as Sales Assistant, Angus Deayton as Maurice the hotel receptionist, Steve Punt as Immigration 1, Mock the Week's Hugh Dennis as Immigration 2, Les Dennis as MC, Spoons' Tom Goodman-Hill as Baz, EastEnders' Michael Greco as Niarchos, Burt Kwouk as Dalai Lama, Eamonn Holmes, Dolph Lundgren as Randy, Henry Miller as Dave, Ralf Little as Milkman, John Thomson as Foreman, Sarah Cawood as TOTP presenter, Colin Murray as TOTP presenter, Coronation Street's Alison King as Receptionist and David Schneider as Tanner. It might be a very British film, it may have a very good variety of British talent in the cast, but it isn't the sort of thing that makes you proud to be British, you'd probably emigrate. I don't want to see a film with extremely fat women getting their tits out, farting and burping a lot, squirting bodily fluids, or shagging people, it just made me feel awful, and it is certainly one of the worst films ever made in Britain. Very poor!

That sounds like a pretty outrageous claim, but see the movie and you will know where I'm coming from (oo-err! bit of innuendo!) Really though, this is an abomination of a film, dreadful in every possible aspect. As a life long Viz reader I know what a Fat slags movie should be like, and this just ain't it. Similarities between the comic book characters and on screen counterparts was minimal: they're fat, oh yeah, and, well, that's it really. They should be constantly looking for sex, getting drunk and generally being loud and offensive: doesn't sound like much of a plot, but come, the film only lasts 75 or so minutes, (which really drags). The two actresses were also very poor, just plain annoying. And how could they miss out the trademark laugh? NA AA AA AA AA AA AA AA AA: no such laughs in this movie. Save time and read the comic instead.

Having been madly in love with the Fats Slags since I was a young man, I was disappointed with this movie. How on earth can directors and producers continue to imagine that it can still be funny to take ordinary people and make them rich and successful, after Rosanne destroyed her career by doing exactly that with her working class show. This is without the incredibly clichéd notion that there is something inherently funny about working class people from the north of England. They talk in a funny way , they say funny things and they don't understand sophisticated ideas like art. What a loads of dated old rubbish. The charm of the fat slags was always that they are only concerned with satisfying their immediate needs whether food, sex or anything else and this is what makes them perfect women. They have a view of themselves which depends only on the reflection one slag provides for the other and they are completely indifferent to the feelings and sensibilities of anyone else. These are the Fat Slags as the ideal women they are, the characters in this film are a complete travesty. Still, they can't take away my dreams.