The Worst Film Ever

People are voting emotionally.

Good movie but grossly overrated

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

If you're not from Germany, you've probably never heard of Dieter Bohlen. Consider yourself lucky. Guitarist-cum-producer Bohlen, together with singer Thomas Anders, had produced a couple of mediocre, but successful Pop songs under the guise of "Modern Talking" in the 80's; sort of "Milli Vanilli" crap that hasn't been caught.The musician Bohlen would have been all but forgotten, had it not been for his hyper-inflated, borderline psychopathic ego, which made him a judge and leading force behind "Deutschland sucht den Superstar", Germany's answer to "American Idol". Imagine a blond version of Simon Cowell (they even look vaguely similar), just more mean-spirited and nepotistic. This success prompted Bohlen to write his memoirs, in which he's slinging dirt at anybody, dead or alive, who has ever crossed his path. And, savvy businessman that he is, Bohlen took the chance to turn said memoirs into a feature-length cartoon.Long story made short: we witness Bohlens upbringing in a small North-German hamlet, rise to fame with "Modern Talking", break-up, relationships with alcoholic hanger-on girlfriends Nadel and marriage impostor Verona (both still haunt the German boulevard media to this day), reunion with Thomas Anders and Bohlen's ultimate descent to hell.Stylistically, the cartoon is somewhere between "Werner" and "Das Kleine Arschloch" ("The Little Rectum"), meaning, it's crude, simple, lazily put together by some bored animator(s), without any of the merits of above mentioned toons.The most important question: is it funny? Answer: no. Like above mentioned animations, it thrives on potty humour involving puking, passing winds and excrements, but has none of the wit. If anything, we must give Bohlen credit for being honest enough to admit that he's a "not a very nice person" (which is a kind description for a word beginning with "A" and ending with "hole").2 from 10 points should do.

Did you know Dieter Bohlen? No? Congatulations! It is really better so ;-) Here in Germany he was very popular. Co-founder of the group "Modern Talking" in the 80s. "Modern Talking" is fortunately almost forgotten today, but Dieter Bohlen was still on TV, mostly in the annoying and superfluous game-shows "Deutschland sucht den Superstar", a show, in which (mostly) talentless boys and girls trying to became the great pop-star of tomorrow. Bohlen had no talent too, but he earned very much money with this absence of real talent during the 80s with sterile and artificial pop-songs. I think, this money turned him into a conceited show off. But Dieter's star is falling: This movie was intended to get a theatrical release, but after Bohlens new book about his life and career turned out as a flop, the movie was put aside and i think, a lot of people that was involved, tried to pretend that it did not exist. You may guess now, that i don't like Dieter Bohlen? Yes! You're got it right!!So, when "Dieter - Der Film" was aired the other day here in Germany, i was not really eager to see it, but there was nothing better to find on the other TV-channels too . So, what now? Putting "The life of Brian" in the DVD-player again, or try "Dieter - Der Film"? I tried "Dieter...". And... i was positively surprised: It was not really bad at all. It is a animated movie that parody Dieter Bohlens career during the last 15-20 years. And it was fulfilled with a lot of gags. Not very subtle gags, it contains a lot of the "good old fashioned mayhem" that we know from Tex Avery and others. For example the many wives of Dieter, the most known are "Naddel" and Verona Feldbusch comes up here too... sometimes with breasts that have a atomic radiation label on it. Or Bohlen's partner, Thomas Anders, depicted as a very gay guy. Some funny spoofs of other movies are in it too: "Terminator", "The Lion King" and "Titanic" i have already reported to the IMDb. Another spoof of "Jurassic Park" comes up, when Anders girlfriend Nora entering the screen for the first time: The camera get a close up of a glass of water on the table, your hear the WOMMM....WOMMM...of her steps...and see the water surface vibrating... and, yes, Rambo appears as a guest-star too... Not all gags are of the first class, but looking the film, probably together with your friends and a accordingly amount of cool beer near your couch, is not wrong at all.

Admittedly, I watched this piece with already VERY low expectations. Dieter Bohlen is a rather untalented composer parvenu whose lack of talent is only surpassed by the size of his ego.This was the first cartoon movie that I watched that was 100 per cent humor free. It is rude, offensive, redneck and blatantly anti- women. As such, it is a creation befitting Bohlen, but the average viewer will be rather put off by it. No wonder that it was never shown in a cinema theater: It would've bombed BIG time!Not even the expense of 6.5 MegaEuros were able to save this utter piece of crap. Save your time... and money!

"Dieter - Der Film" is the first animated TV movie directed by Michael Schaack (together with Toby Genkel) who was very successful at the German box office in the last fifteen years with the "Werner" movies and "Kleines Arschloch", from which he is now doing a sequel."Dieter -Der Film" deals with the life of Dieter Bohlen, a worldwide famous German musician and producer. From his childhood in Oldenburg and his first steps in the show business to the rise and fall of his band "Modern Talking", his affairs with women and the marriage with Verona Feldbusch (who starred in "Driven") to the reunion of "Modern Talking", this movie captures the important events in the life of the former judge of "Deutschland sucht den Superstar", the German version of "American Idol".The animation is very fine and reminds you sometimes of the "Werner" movies. The voices also fit quite good to their real life examples. The humor is not as crude as in "Kleines Arschloch" or "Werner", but still funny because the movie shows Bohlens life in an overstated way.If you do not like or even hate Dieter Bohlen, his music and the story of his life you probably won't like this movie but if you do not or do not care of Dieter Bohlen at all this movie will entertain you quite well.