Simply A Masterpiece

hyped garbage

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats is without a doubt one of the weirdest horror films I have ever seen. It's not just the plot that astounds with its sheer surrealistic nuttiness, but also the execution: the avant-garde direction, the strange music, the kooky performances, the random editing, and the echoey voice-over from the spirit of an artist trapped behind a painting, all of which go to make this a real one-of-a-kind off-the-wall movie.Told in four chapters - Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, and Just Desserts - the film revolves around a bed that devours anyone and anything that comes in contact with it. The bed - created by a tree demon in the form of a breeze - came to life when the woman the demon wished to seduce suddenly died. Over the years the bed, which occupies an abandoned house, has claimed many victims, dissolving their bodies in the acid that sloshes around under its sheets. One of these victims was the aforementioned artist, who, imprisoned behind his own work of art for 70 years, bears witness to each and every death.When three young women arrive at the house, the bed begins to feed again, starting with cutie Suzan (Julie Ritter, who gets nekkid before being eaten), followed by Diane (Demene Hall), who might have escaped if it hadn't been for those pesky prehensile bed sheets. The third girl, Sharon (Rosa Luxemburg), is spared, because her eyes remind the bed of the demon's dead maiden.Crazy moments include the bed consuming an apple and regurgitating the core, Suzan dreaming of eating bugs, the bed devouring an orgy, and an eyeball rolling around the sheets, but for my money the most memorable scene is when Sharon's brother stupidly tries to stab the bed and finds himself wrist deep in acid, the bed dissolving the flesh, leaving him with skeletal hands that start to break apart as the cartilage wastes away.With bonkers stuff like that, I happily recommend the film to fans of bizarre cinema, even if, truth be told, it isn't really all that good.

Honestly, this is one of the strangest movies I ever saw. It felt like absolutely surreal, dreamlike cult film. At the edge of a grand estate, near a crumbling old mansion lies a strange stone building with just a single room. In the room there lies a bed. The major imaginative thrive of the movie is that it is narrated by the Victorian artist Aubrey Beardsley who is held captive inside the wall behind one of his paintings next to the bed. Born of demonic power, the bed seeks the flesh, blood and life essence of unwary travelers. My favorite victim in the film was the gangster who tries to shoot the bed with his gun, as if that will help. Well, three girls then arrive on vacation, searching for a place to spend the night and find themselves sleeping on the bed that eats people. George Barry's uniquely weird journey into horror through a world of carnivorous furnishings was a bit out of this world! Comedian, Patton Oswalt once quote that this movie was one of the most awesome movies he ever saw. By watching it, I can clearly say, he might be putting a bit of a sarcasm tone into that. Still it was pretty entertaining. Who knows, a bed can drink Pepto Bismo, fried chicken and orange soda?! The bed can also make flowers grow out of a skull, lock doors, give jewelry to dead people and even masturbates for some odd reason. This movie is a true testament that every horrible idea for an object-based horror movie has been nearly done. I wasn't scare at all, but laughing. The movies take it-self so serious, but for me, it felt like a comedy horror. It could have been better, with a better writer. The concept is good. Truly a bed that eats people can be scary in the right hands. A good example of that is 1984's Nightmare on Elm Street with what happens to Johnny Depp's character. In this film, the writing is a lengthy, monotonous, rather incomprehensible story, related by the ghost about two-thirds of the way through the film, about how the bed came to be a bed that eats people. There is another strange series of scenes displaying a woman inside an underground coffin on the estate of the cottage and nearby mansion that I have yet to figure out how it fits into the story. The gore effects in this movie were pretty bad. I like how you can clearly see where the pins connect one fake bone to the other on the clearly fake skeleton hand on the guy after the bed eat him. The sound mix is a bit annoying. The acting is dreadful. The actor who speaks Beardsley's voice is a little bit better than the other cast. His pacing, accent, and inflections are hypnotic alright. Pay attention if you buy this, the dad from "Boy meets world" is in this as one of the characters brothers. In fact, I'm more awestruck by the fact that they started shooting in 1972 and took 5 years to finish this movie. Then nobody would release it for two more decades after its completion. When it finally came out, according to the DVD extras, Barry seems to have even forgotten he made it. It's one of those movies, so bad, it's good. So give it a try, and sleep on it.

***SPOILERS**** Both confusing as well as mentally changeling film about this bed that eats anyone or anything, people apples bottles of wine & Pepto-Bismol and buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken, that has the misfortune to sit sleep or lie on it! Were told about this evil bed that's situated in the middle of the woods buried underground in an enclosed and hidden bedroom by one of its victims, that it rejected or regurgitated, an half-a** artist who's been living in limbo in one of his painting or scratches for some 60 or 70 years. The story that the artist tells us goes like this in that was a number of people who disappeared off the face of the earth in New York City's Lower East-Side back in the early 1900's that somehow were connected with the bed in question! Things were told by the Artist got so bad that the Mayor himself took a hand in solving the missing peoples case until he became one of the missing people himself! By now you know that this film is going nowhere and you just try to sit back and ready yourself for all the nuttiness and insanity that's soon to follow.What follows is a number of people getting eaten by the bed who just happen to wonder out in the woods and with no motels or bed and breakfast places within miles end up sleeping on it. How their eaten is that the bed sucks them inside its mattress like quicksand an with its digestive fluids and acids devours them leaving only their bones and teeth. The artist who's telling us this story soon loses himself, by constantly contracting himself, in what he's telling us in him realizing, like us watching, just how totally ridicules the story he's telling us is. The highlights in the film is in how the bed dispatches its victim in what looks like tub filled with yellowish water or the inside of a toilet bowl that hasn't been flushed down in days. That in itself can turn your stomach more then the results of the killer bed's victims who end up looking like a human skeleton at the doctors office or in the movie "House on Haunted Hill".***SPOILERS*** The movie is shown in four parts "Breakfest" "Lunch" and "Dinner" with the last part "Just Deserts" by far the best of all of them. It's then when the only surviving victim of the man and woman eating bed Suzan gets the word from the Artist trapped in his own painting in how to put an end to the beds evil and disgusting actions: Carve a number of mindless symbols all around it and then set it on fire! The symbols didn't make any sense at all but burning it made all the sense in the world. Why didn't he, the Artist, tell Suzan and her dead and eaten friends Diane Sharon and her brother Russ that in the first place! It would have saved their lives as well as us watching the trouble of suffering through this mess of a bedroom horror flick!P.S It took almost 25 years for "Death Bed" to finally be released to the public. And it was only in the age of cheap bargain basement $1.00 or less DVD's in 2003, with no one crazy enough to pay $5.00 to $10,00 to see it in the movies or pay as much as $10.00 to $15.00 for a video tape copy of it, that made that all possible!

I do love B- horror films. I however, am generally not a huge fan of "so stupid it's funny" films. I HAD to rate this so highly simply because Death Bed: the bed that eats, is so one of a kind, and so original. there are plenty of question marks, plenty of plot holes, and the WTF factor is cranked up to 11, but i was really not bored for a second. I really couldn't call it creepy at any point, Every minute i was saying to myself "what the hell is this bed/film going to do next!" I watched this with a friend that is in no way a fan of horror or B- movies, and even she was pretty into it. the effects were actually very inventive and the colors, and atmosphere were quite good. it keeps a very consistent and even tone throughout most of the film, (albeit an incredibly ludicrous consistency) and the acting wasn't TERRIBLE. I can see from the point that there are certain inconsistencies in the actions of the bed that make the suspension of belief damn near impossible, but the film itself was such a unique and bizarre concept, that that fact didn't really bother me. seriously, for me, this film hit that realm of one i will not only never forget, but i guarantee i will find myself thinking back on certain scenes in the future. does anyone else know of any other films in the inanimate objects that eat people genre? totally fantastic.