The Worst Film Ever

Boring

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

There are moments that feel comical, some horrific, and some downright inspiring but the tonal shifts hardly matter as the end results come to a film that's perfect for this time.

Remember "paint by numbers" in the '50's? An art form even less "artistic" than black velvet paintings? "Bells Are Ringing" is paint-by-numbers applied to the Broadway musical. It opened in New York in 1956 and ran for 924 performances, solely on the audience's love of Judy Holliday. But it was already a decade late on opening night. Every tired cliché represents the nadir of its creators."Guys and Dolls" did this better in 1950. Sky Masterson's "Luck be a Lady," sung amidst underground pipes beneath Times Square is a better number than the utterly copycat "A Simple Little System" sung on exactly the same set in "Bells." One can understand how "Bells" worked, sort of, on the Broadway stage. The audience was far enough away from the performers not to notice they were "posing" by the numbers instead of acting. "Head down, Judy -- to indicate Ella's sadness!" "Head up, Judy -- and flash that smile to the second balcony -- to indicate Ella's joy!" Every trick in the book was used to disguise that this musical was written for two stars who could neither sing nor dance. Captured on film, unfortunately, the tricks and lack of musical abilities are obvious. (Judy and Sydney Chaplin were in love at the time, and she insisted on his being cast opposite her on the stage.) Jerome Robbins direction and his and co-choreographer Bob Fosse's dance numbers could be performed by your grandmother, so simple and undemanding are they.The hackneyed plot, already predictable in 1956, contains not one believable situation. But boy is it desperate to be "cute" at every turn.Miss Holliday was a good actress. Vincente Minnelli a good director. Here, however, everybody forgot they were making a movie instead of a stage play. Holliday mugs almost as pathetically as Betty Hutton in her heyday. Dean Martin clearly couldn't wait to finish this production and move on with his career. At least he gets to sing, "Just in Time." But his laconic approach and Minnelli's lazy staging make that classic almost as forgettable as the rest of the songs in "Bells." Holliday's rendition of, "The Party's Over" suffers from the same pedestrian direction and her overacting robs the song of the haunted quality it has in the hands of, say, Judy Garland or Barbra Streisand.One is grateful Holliday got the gig. She needed and deserved the money both for the Broadway production and the film.The film's only value is the preservation of a third-rate Broadway musical as a curiosity piece. It's not a film so much as a record of a stagy relic. It was boring when it opened and it's even more so 50 years later."Talkin' Broadway's" review, by Thomas Burke, of the Broadway revival in 2001, noted, "Comden and Green's book has not stood the test of time," and called the show a "dreary mess."Just like those equally lifeless "paint by number" kits back in the day that promised to turn amateurs into artists. A Broadway musical by the numbers proved equally mechanical, sadly.

I first saw this film when they made a new 35mm CinemaScope/Metrocolor print for the Joseph Papp theater back in the seventies. I thought it was mildly entertaining but very stagy and padded with too many unrelated subplots. At least the color and CinemaScope looked good although the production value made the movie seem as if it had been made a decade earlier. By 1960, many musicals, were being shot at least in part on location (i.e. "Oklahoma!", "South Pacific") rather than on artificial looking studio sets. In terms of the cast, Dean and Gorshon were amusing. Holiday is an acquired taste. I thought she was good in "Born Yesterday" but her dumb blond act seemed a bit stale ten years later and she was too old for this role. The musical numbers ranged from good ("Just in Time") to ridiculous (The betting song, "The Midas Touch"). I recently screened the picture again on TCM and I found it even more dated. It's worth seeing once but don't expect the quality level of the director's earlier pictures.

Vincente Minnelli's "Bells Are Ringing" (1960) generally gets a bad wrap from reviewers and critics alike. While it is true that the film came at the tail end of MGM's reign of supremacy in musical motion picture entertainment – and it is equally true that the film falls short by direct comparison to, say, Minnelli's "Meet Me In St. Louis (an unfair but often used example), all the pistons are firing on this occasion with this delightful story of a phone operator who falls in love with one of her clients.The story concerns lonely Ella Peterson (Judy Holliday in her final performance). Working out of a basement apartment for Susan's-a-phone (a personal message service), Ella longs for the good life and the right fella to fill her needs. However, that doesn't prevent her plucky personality from offering equal portions of good advice and smart talk to her roster of happy clients. Ella's fraternization doesn't particularly sit well with her employer, Sue (Jean Stapleton) who is all dollars and cents, or police detective, Barnes (Dort Clark) who advises Ella that it's illegal to provide unsolicited information in the capacity of a business acquaintance. But Ella is all set to throw caution to the wind when she falls in love with Plaza 0-double four, double nine. That extension belongs to Jeffrey Moss (Dean Martin), a once successful playwright who fears that his days of popularity are numbered and has since turned to shallow women and hollow relationships for solace.Screenwriters Betty Comden and Adolph Green transform their Broadway original into a sublime cinematic treat. Minnelli directs adroitly and – given the limited budget he had to work with – delivers a film that appears to be on a much grander scale than it actually is. Particularly in his execution of the "Drop that Name" sequence – in which Ella lampoons her association with the hoi polloi, Minnelli's brisk camera work and staging is flawless. The same is true during Eddy Foy Jr.'s charming romp in "Oh, What A System". Delivered with comedic panache and laconic savvy a la the darling Holliday and charming Martin, the rest of the score, including such standards as "Just in Time" and "Drop That Name" is brilliant and bouncy.Thanks to Warner's stunning new transfer, "Bells are Ringing" arrives 'just in time' on DVD. The anamorphically enhanced Cinemascope image is outstanding. Colors are nicely balanced. Image quality is a marked improvement over anything this film has looked like before on home video. Blacks are rich, deep and solid. Whites are crisp, but never blooming. There is a hint of film grain and the occasional shimmer of fine detail but nothing that will distract you from wallowing in the riotous splendor of this musical classic. The audio has been impeccably remastered in 5.1 and delivers an unexpectedly powerful kick during the songs. The one disappointment for admirers of this film is that the featurette on the film "Just in Time" is way too short to be considered a valid supplement. Others include two outtake musical sequences made available previously, and the film's theatrical trailer. Regardless of these shortcomings, "Bells Are Ringing" comes highly recommended as great good time fun.

Since the play, "Laurette," was never realized, the movie version of "Bells are Ringing" serves as Judy Holliday's "final" performance.It's to her credit that she comes off as well as she does. The film is extremely stagey, and looks contrived and bloated, despite a most competent cast and director.Yet Holliday is buoyant, full of fun, and energetic--all hallmarks of her theatrical persona. I've read Holliday's complete bio, and am amazed she was able to overcome the tremendous obstacles she endured, from her sad childhood and family relationship through the communist "witch hunt" period--which left her saddled with protest pickets that followed her around--to failed marriages, lack of employment, and care giving responsibilities for her child and parent. All the while working wherever she could and keep smiling.In many respects her career is quite similar to that of Montgomery Clift. Both apparently gave their best work on the stage, night after night before live audiences, rather than on film. Had both stayed in the theatre, their respective careers and lives might have remained more stable and healthy--and be alive today. "Bells are Ringing" is a final tribute to a great talent, an Oscar-winning actress and comedienne who graced the stage and screen with a radiant presence and winning demeanor. Fortunately, as long as her films are shown, Judy Holliday will live and be rediscovered by future generations.