The Worst Film Ever

That was an excellent one.

Thanks for the memories!

How sad is this?

No Dead Heroes is another movie I HAD to check out after the favorable review by our buddies over at Comeuppance Reviews. No Dead Heroes isn't available on DVD so the only option to see it is tracking down an old VHS… which I did.Lt. Richard Sanders has no choice but to accept one final mission. Capt. Harry Cotter, Sanders' former colleague prior to being taken captive in Vietnam, has become a victim of KGB experiments. He has had a micro-chip implanted in his brain which controls his mind and has turned him into an unstoppable killing machine. Now, 10 years later, Sanders is sent back in to bring Cotter back alive.Yeah we tease him a lot cause we've hot him on the spot, welcome back… Welcome back Mr. Cottayyyyr! You're a top secret KGB killing machine now… welcome back, welcome back, welcome back…Oh, man!!! No Dead Heroes is off its own rocker. This movie is crazy! And, holy crap, do suckas get mowed down here or what. The scenes of action have little to no dialogue, just Russians, Vietnamese and/or Cubans getting shot to hell over and over. There's explosions everywhere. Machineguns everywhere. There must have been hundreds of commies killed throughout this movie.I'm not sure if pistol grip pump shotguns or crossbows were standard issue in Vietnam but they certainly don't seem like they would be the best choices. Regardless of what my logic tells me they were the weapons of choice for the soldiers invading the Viet-Cong camp at the beginning of the movie.All the stabbings and arrow sticks have the exact same "tick" sound effect. All you hear as the U.S. soldiers sneak through a Viet Cong camp is tick, tick, tick as they kill their enemies trying to free the trapped American soldiers.The acting and dialogue are atrocious. Truly some of the worst I have ever seen. But, then again, I wasn't expecting much.The music is comically bad. Inappropriate for almost every scene.I'm not sure if No Dead Heroes qualifies as so bad it's good material. By most logical standards it is not at all a good movie but it is most certainly the type of movie that could be quite entertaining given the right circumstances (a few cold ones and a few friends). It's crazy stupid fun but it's unfortunately not overly memorable.For more action movie news and reviews visit Action Movie Fanatix online.

Really cool movie alert! Fans of Invasion U.S.A. (1985) (i.e., everyone that's ever seen it) are sure to love this one as well.When ridiculously evil Russian General Ivan Dimanovitch (Nicholson), who naturally runs a prison camp in Vietnam, is holding an American CIA agent in his horrid cages, badass soldier dudes Richard "Ric" Sanders (Thayer) and Harry Cotter (Dresden) are sent in by their commanding officer Baylor (Monty) to save the man and free the camp - in the next 24 hours. If the man succumbs to the torture tactics of Dimanovitch, he could spill information sensitive to the U.S. Just when we as viewers are acclimating to this, we see a title on screen - TEN YEARS LATER (!) Dimanovitch has captured Cotter and he makes him undergo a surgical procedure in which a microchip is implanted at the base of his skull. This chip turns him into an emotionless killing machine controlled by a Casio wristwatch. Of course, Dimanovitch is wearing the watch and pressing the buttons. The plan is a total commie takeover of the world, and since he hates religion, to use Cotter to assassinate the Pope. So Baylor sends Sanders, now a private citizen, into the fray to take down all the baddies and stop Cotter. With the help of Barbara (Nero) and of course an arsenal of machine guns larger than most armies, will they be able to stop the nefarious evil planning to take over the world? If movies were judged by the amount of people that die in them, No Dead Heroes would win awards. The kill count is huge, and there are even surprising lashings of gore. Try to imagine a cross between Wardogs (1986) and Invasion U.S.A. With maybe a dash of The Devastator (1985) thrown in for good measure.The movie starts with an explosion in the first second, and many more follow throughout the majority of the film's running time. In the funny department, even though he is an evil commie rapist, just look at Dimanovitch's henchman Lopez. He is an obese, bearded man that looks like Castro. Speaking of which, No Dead Heroes shares Invasion U.S.A.'s patriotism, and the prerequisite speeches are made against America, capitalism and religion...all this angers super-patriot Sanders who truly is a one-man army. Additionally, since his buddy's name is "Harry Cotter", every time they say it, it's hard not to imagine the beloved, bespectacled children's character (with one letter different, of course) massacring people and attempting to knock over the PopeMobile.You're really not a super-villain unless you have a terrorist training camp (or, in the case of American Ninja (1985), a Ninja training camp) and when Sanders and Barbara show up with guns blazin', that will certainly knock you off the monkey bars! Behind the camera, we have producer Anthony Maharaj, responsible for some Richard Norton epics, including Not Another Mistake (1988). Apparently he likes being involved in movies where there are "No" something or "Not" something. It's quite a formula for success. Also there is a credit in the movie for, and I quote, "Meal Checker". Maybe there was a mad poisoner going around bent on the indigestion of Max Thayer, so it's good the production sprang for him.For classic 80's uber-patriotic shoot-fests that require zero brain power, (and, thankfully there is zero irony), top marks go to the impressive No Dead Heroes.For more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com

This movie is the worst thing ever created by humans. You think manos is the worst movie ever? It doesn't even come close to this garbage. I dont even know where to begin. The "russian" commander and the rebel chic are the worst "actors" ever to appear in a movie. They make the sister in troll 2 look like Meryl Streep. The goofy faces the chic makes while she's in kung fu training have to be seen to be believed. Then there is the oompa music during the prison break, the totally out of place love scene, the stupid song that plays during the out of place love scene, the fake castro, the fact that everybody has either a headband and/or a bandanna on some part of their body, the goofiest rape scene ever filmed, and the worst acting ever put on film. This movie deserves to be more well known among bad movie fans. Definitely the worst movie ever made.

Addle-brained stupidity that the cartoon "Bullwinkle" made fun of a quarter-century beforehand, NO DEAD HEROES proves that you can rip off a good movie (THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE) without copying a single sliver of quality from the object of your plunder. The acting barely registers on the cable-access TV scale, the plot is less nuanced than an old "Sgt. Rock" comic, and only Boris J. Badanov-style "bad guy" mustaches are missing from the Commies. This movie achieves the unusual feat of being too bad, too stupid to be enjoyed by anyone with opposable thumbs.