The Worst Film Ever

Highly Overrated But Still Good

Absolutely the worst movie.

Great story, amazing characters, superb action, enthralling cinematography. Yes, this is something I am glad I spent money on.

Border River at it's time was one of a dwindling band of westerns where you could have a Confederate hero as the lead. Joel McCrea plays a man who was a major on Robert E. Lee's staff. He's pulled off one very big heist at the Denver Mint and he's got 2 million in gold bullion. But what to do with it? Actually the miracle is how he got it from Colorado to Texas, the stuff is pretty bulky.McCrea crosses the Rio Grande to a place called Zona Libre where neither the writ of Emperor Maximilian nor that of Benito Juarez runs. Instead the guy in charge is Pedro Armendariz who's a tin-pot tyrant and his right hand man is Alfonso Bedoya who revs up his Gold Hat character from The Treasure Of The Sierra Madre. There's also saloon entertainer Yvonne DeCarlo who's the general's personal squeeze, but she takes a fancy to McCrea and later proves invaluable to him.McCrea's interest is to buy supplies for the Confederate army with the stolen gold. But there's a real lack of trustworthy people around from Armendariz on down. There's a whole lot of intrigue going on in the Zona Libre. There's also the looming shadow of Juarez who'd really like to put Armendariz and remove a real problem from his rear.Border River is a competently made western with the truest cowboy hero around Joel McCrea in the lead. He and DeCarlo work well together. But the ones to watch are Armendariz and Bedoya trying to outdo each other in evil. Bedoya looks like he's having a great old time out-acting the cast of about ten different films.

As a longtime Joel McCrea fan, I thought I had seen most all, if not all, of his westerns. But I evidently was wrong (for once in my 75 years!!!), as I had never seen this one until it showed up on the Western Channel recently.As westerns go it was "Ho-um", which was surprising considering the cast: Joel McCrea, Luscious Yvonne De Carlo, and the always hilarious Alfonso Bedoya; who's animated performance steals every scene he is in.Other reviewers have criticized this film for its sympathetic portrayal of Southern rebels trying to get stolen Yankee gold to the Confederacy, but this is not the first film to do a similar story. Virginia City with Errol Flynn & Randolph Scott, and Great Day in the morning with Robert Stack are two that come to mind. All three of these are fanciful Civil War out west tales about a Confederate scheme at the last minute to smuggle several millions in gold bullion into the South for supplies to keep the war going. And what happens in the end of all of these strains credulity to say the least.BUT, these are movies, NOT documentaries, and made for entertainment, to sell tickets & popcorn, not to pay homage to the South, and not to be to closely analyzed as there are plenty of ridiculous plot holes and unreal situations.Since this film was directed by George Sherman I had expected it to have the same quality great action scenes that he had been known for in all his many westerns from the 30's & 40's. Needless to say it fell flat there for the most part.One area that they tried to be accurate on was the type of handgun every one carried: the Remington 1858 Cap & ball, fairly correct for the period. Except during the final showdown/shootout they more conveniently substituted the Single Action Colt, which was modified to look like the Remington. My guess is that this was more economical as it allowed used of the then popular 5-in-1 blanks used in most Westerns. For the uninitiated, these were blanks that would fit & fire in any revolver of 38-40, 44-40, 45 Colt calibers, and lever actions of 38-40 or 44-40 calibers.The best part of any western, especially ones shot in color, are the beautiful outdoor location scenes, and here they almost overshadow the weak script.This could've been a really good western, it's a shame it didn't live up to its potential, but its worth watching if only for the two leads.

This rugged, above-average, American Civil War-era horse opera set on the Mexican border depicts the efforts of a Confederate officer and his men who robbed the Union of $2-million in gold bars and plans to convert the loot into supplies and firearms for the South to prolong the combat. Whether "Big Jake" director George Sherman or his scenarists, William Sackheim of "First Blood" and Louis Stevens of "The Texas Rangers" consciously realized the significance of it, "Border River" qualifies as a politically subservice western because they allow South to triumph in the end. "Virginian" star Joel McCrea toplines as the dedicated Southern officer out of uniform who refuses to let the declining fortunes of the Jefferson Davis regime to dissuade him from his mission. McCrea tangles with a thoroughly treacherous Mexican general who not only bucks the legally constituted authority of both Mexico and the United States but also provides safe haven in his border town for felons. Pedro Armendáriz is well cast as the greedy, amoral general who plays a cat & mouse game with McCrea, while bosomy beauty Yvonne De Carlo comes between them. Alfonso Bedoya plays the general's second-in-command villain and he is remembered in cinema history for his immortal phrase "We don't need no stinking badges" as Gold Tooth in director John Houston's classic "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre." Sackheim and Stevens slip in a surprise or two and the finale is an action-packed fight in a quicksand pit that, though it remains predictable, generates a modicum of suspense."Border River" opens with the following preamble. "During the war between Maximilian and Juarez in 1865, there was a small territory on the Mexican side of the Rio Grande River known as Zona Libre—'Free Zone.' It was dominated by a man who called himself General Eduardo Calleja and he made it a haven for any man outside the law. This is the story of Zone Libre." The action opens as our hard-riding hero, Clete Mattson (Joel McCrea), splashes across the Rio Grande on horseback with several blue-uniformed U.S. Army riders hard on his heels, slinging lead at him. Watching this life and death drama unfold from the opposite bank are General Eduardo Calleja (Pedro Armendáriz of "3 Godfathers"), his lady friend Carmelita Carjas (Yvonne de Carlo of "McLintock! ") and Calleja subordinate Captain Felipe Vargas (Alfonso Bedoya) and Calleja wagers with Carmelita that the gringo won't survive. Miraculously, Clete manages to survive, but the Union troops demand the Calleja turn him over to them. Captain Vargas runs them off and they take Clete back to Zona Libre and another American expatriate Newlun (Howard Petrie of "The Tin Star") provides a place for our wounded hero in his hotel room until Clete recovers.Although Clete adopts an alias initially when Calleja inquires about his business, our hero isn't fooling anybody in Zona Libre. Calleja and everybody else have heard about the robbery. When he recuperates and finally meets Calleja, the amoral General observes that Clete and his Confederates appropriated a $2-million shipment of gold bullion that belonged to the private Denver, Colorado, firm of Clark Hoover & company. "Gold that belongs or to be exact belonged to the army of the North. Five men, you all disappeared, horses, gold everything, superb military logistics." We learn that Clete served under General Robert E. Lee. Calleja explains that he controls the town of Zona Libre and furnishes sanctuary for outlaws, but for this sanctuary he claims twenty percent of everything. The avaricious Calleja allows Clete to remain in town, but Carmelita warns him that he should watch his back. Indeed, a couple of ruffians try to beat the whereabouts of the gold out of Clete when they get the drop on him one evening. Newlun helps thwart these cattle rustlers and Calleja orders Felipe to run them out of Zona Libre and turn them over to Texas authorities.Meanwhile, Clete doesn't trust anybody, least of all an unscrupulous businessman, Baron Kurt von Hollden (Ivan Triesault of "Von Ryan's Express"), who has a warehouse bursting at the seams with thousands of contraband U.S. Army Henry repeating rifles that Clete wants to buy for the Confederacy. Hollden warns Clete that he will have to fork over the usual twenty percent to Calleja, but Clete doesn't trust the general. Eventually, Clete's accomplices arrive on a raft with the gold and bury it on the Mexico side of the river. Calleja discovers the Hollden is trying to double-cross him after Clete gives the shady entrepreneur with a gold bar. Calleja confiscates the bar and his men kill Hollden. Calleja is infatuated with Carmelita and doesn't like the attention that she pays to Clete. When a drunken Felipe gets the drop on Carmelita, Clete, and his men after they bring the gold over, he gets a knife in the back and they deposit his body in the river. This is the one flaw in the story. The Confederates leave the knife in Felipe's back and this arouses Calleja's suspicions.Sherman alternates between the Universal Studios backlot for all the scenes in Zona Libre and then goes out on location in Colorado River, Moab, Utah, USA for the showdown between Clete and Felipe and later Calleja. Sherman doesn't let the action bog down in this 80-minute Technicolor epic and McCrea makes an appropriately stalwart hero. Eventually, the newly christened Juarez government takes over and they allow Clete to ship his rifles and supplies to the Confederacy. Consequently, "Border River" shows its sympathy to the Confederacy and endorses their rebellious efforts, something that seems extremely subversive considering its politically incorrect attitude for an American movie in the early 1950s when civil rights movement was gaining momentum during the Eisenhower administration. Remember, the Confederates are never shown in uniform, nevertheless it is surprising that Universal Studios would endorse this crime against the Union and not punish McCrea's hero.

This isn't a particularly good or bad Western and the only reason I watched it is because Joel McCrea was a pretty good actor. Aside from his excellent as always performance, the film doesn't have a whole lot to distinguish it one way or the other. It's a definite time-passer, though Yvonne de Carlo and Pedro Armendariz do provide some decent supporting chemistry in this film about stolen Union gold during the US and Mexican Civil wars.Armendariz plays a rogue Mexican general who sets up his own government along the US and Mexican border. Here is where wanted men and those who are seeking to do illegal stuff congregate. McCrea shows to buy arms for the Confederacy from the slick general and most of the movie concerns how McCrea can both keep the gold hidden AND eventually exchange it for weapons without getting killed or robbed. The film is competently made and interesting, but that's all.