The Worst Film Ever

Just perfect...

I don't have all the words right now but this film is a work of art.

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

What's this, you might ask. A Spanish horror film from the '70s which doesn't star Paul Naschy? You might find this difficult to believe, but it's true. Naschy sadly doesn't benefit us with his presence in this tepid slice of exploitation, which uses a confusing, barely coherent plot as an excuse for plenty of sensational nudity. So it's pretty much what you might expect. Thankfully, things never get too boring because of a simple fact: the film has been dubbed atrociously, just like most low-budget oddities floating around in this country at the moment. Cue lots of chances for ripe, hilarious dialogue which doesn't necessarily make sense.While posing as a horror film, this is really more like a sex film, as basically just about every female character is forced to strip off at least once. The horror scenes, when they come, are surprisingly devoid of gore, with the monster strangling his victims to death instead of splattering them with a sharp object, as is the typical way people die in these types of films. None of the actors or actresses particularly distinguish themselves, although Silvia Solar (THE WEREWOLF AND THE YETI) is suitably spooky in the lead role as a spiritualist, while veteran Oliver Mathot lends solid support as the seedy, suspect doctor who spends his days making horse vaccines in the basement (yeah, right). The only other recognisable face is that of a minor actor from THE LIVING DEAD AT THE MANCHESTER MORGUE, although the name escapes me at the moment.Unfortunately the film is so simplistic, you just know what's going to happen next. Monster revives, murders somebody. Next scene: doctor complains about his heart. Next scene: maid undresses. Next scene: hilariously incompetent police investigate, find nothing, and leave. Next scene: monster revives, murders somebody. And so on. There are quite a few funny scenes to watch, such as the moment where a man tries to seduce his girlfriend, not realising that she's been turned into a zombie, or the hilariously tacky ending.DEVIL KISS (I don't know where that particular title came from either) may not be high art, it may not even be good entertainment. However, there are a few neat Gothic touches, and also some spooky moments in the brick arched basement of the mansion. The make-up for the main zombie isn't too bad either, even quite creepy in some respects. These factors save this film from being unwatchable and instead elevate it to the status of being a decidedly average slice of strangeness.

In France, the former Countess Moncorn comes to the Haussemont Castle posing of the medium Claire Grandier (Silvia Solar) for a séance with her telepathic friend and scientist Professor Gruber (Oliver Matthau). They are welcomed by the Duke de Haussemont (José Nieto), who recognizes her. There is an interruption in the séance and the Duke invites Claire and Gruber to stay in his castle and offers his basement for the professor to proceed in his experiments.However Claire has an agenda, since she holds a grudge against the Haussemont family that she blames that was responsible for the suicide of her beloved husband Phillippe to acquire his properties. Claire uses the Book of Astarov associated to the ability and knowledge of Professor Gruber to reanimate a corpse controlled by Gruber seeking revenge against the responsible for the death of Phillippe. But her scheme gets out of control."La perversa caricia de Satán", a.k.a. "Devil's Kiss", is a Spanish B- movie that gathers all the elements of this type of film: a rip-off Frankenstein with a bald creature; Satanism; naked women; a medium; a mad scientist, all associated to cheap locations, poor edition and bad acting. Further, the DVD released in Brazil has a cover that is a great work of art and audio in French, English and Portuguese, but does not have the original one in Spanish. My vote is five.Title (Brazil): "O Beijo do Diabo" ("The Devil's Kiss")

1970's horror movie that seems more silly then scary with an evil scientist and psychic countess lurking about in the dungeon of a castle making efforts to raise the dead. The ghoul they bring back looks rather silly and would have looked silly when the film was made. The look and sensibility of the film is decidedly European in flavor but it doesn't add up to much. Honestly I could have done with out the fashion show at the start since it both portents a large scale film then we get and it also distracts from getting the story underway. If you ask me this is a clunker.(Thats just my opinion, There are several people I know who love this film, but I just don't understand what they see it it.)

Long, long, very long and boring pseudo-horror spanish movie hits the bottom of the barrel. A zombie is created for the vengeance of Silvia Solar against the men who drove her husband to suicide. This zombie takes his time to climb up the stairs to his female naked victim then suddendly rushes onto her and strangles her off-screen. Pathetic. Even of a euro-sleaze product, it's not titillating enough to be fun to watch, not enough horror moment to sustain attention. All you get is...nothing happens on the screen. Huh...not really : watch out for the mannequins in their wild 70's clothes, dancing for a fashion show in the caves of the gothic catsle where it all happens. It lasts 5 looong minutes but it's a blast.But afterwards...Yes, it is boring as hell and as boring as any most of Eurociné's horror flicks filled with hideous women taking their clothes off all the time coz' there's nothing else to do and coz' the screenplay has been lost somewhere in the rest rooms. Printed on toilet paper, played by idiots, written by stupid : it is pure 70's nonsense with not enough wild moments to keep it interesting til the very end. Better watch LA TERRIFICANTE NOTTE DEL DEMONIO to get some real and devious fun.Superwonderscope says : 2