Touches You

Highly Overrated But Still Good

everything you have heard about this movie is true.

Don't Believe the Hype

The first thing you would say, probably, if you watch this, is the question "What is it that makes this such a poor movie"? There are many minor answers, notably the over-zealousness to make fun of the Japanese people in the movie.The main problem is the main character. Tony Curtis plays another of the same character Hollywood stuffs down our throats, the "superiority complex" guy who has to change. The character that only Hollywood people can relate to, and which keeps them out of touch with the world.We have a story about American kids playing baseball against Japanese kids. Okay, except we have about the worst script imaginable. The actors and director do the best with what they have. The minor plot love affair of two kids is okay, considering the script for them is on the poor side, but it isn't anywhere near as boorish as the main plot.There is positively no way to remotely care whether the bore that Curtis portrays changes or not. He's so superiority minded that he is a god, and no normal person could be that ignorant a god. Most would make mistakes, but none would be as arrogant and ignorant as this guy.Sure, a few other characters on the side are okay, but this character is too dull a central character, and gets his way too often. He may as well be named "God".The script is the main problem, and if the script is bad, the movie is bad.

I got this as part of a three DVD set, the entire Bad News Bears series. (The set was a disappointment by the way. Yes, it was only $23, but there were no frills. It was in mono, no extras.) So, like I said, this movie was unbelievably bad. I put this in, dozed off for a few minutes, then woke up thinking I was watching some bad Japanese movie. Then I remembered, no, it's the Bad News Bears. I didn't even recognize it as a BAB movie. It looked like Godzilla on his day off. There was this really terrible sequence where those kids were on some Japanese variety show, and then something about a karate champion. I thought I was dreaming this damn movie. Then there was this sequence that looked to me like one of these kids pounded Godzilla into submission with a baseball bat. Maybe it was just as well they ended the series with this movie. Those kids were getting too old anyway. As it was, they just played secondary rolls here and you felt removed from them. And Kelly's love interest? How contrived can you get? He falls in love with a Japanese geisha girl, one he will probably never see again once he gets home? Get real, people!!! And they couldn't understand each other at all when they first met each other. How is it that by the end of the movie either she's able to understand English or he's able to understand Japanese? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that was ever explained.The baseball game was a joke. How do you suppose they could have had a fight on the field without causing an international incident? And this business with the coach and the little kid was a little too incredible as well. Hard-hearted hustler is won over by a sad little kid? How corny can you get? I loved the Bad News Bears series. At least I did the first two movies. This one is a real turkey turd. 2 out of 10.

This 3rd and final installment in which the Bear's appear on the big screen is nothing but a big mistake, you'd think, after the sequel turns out to be surprisingly good, considering it was a different writer, director, etc. and the only thing that was the same was the cast. Exactly. The cast. That's one of the many flaws of this movie I will begin with, lack of cast. I guess a majority of the team are still there as Kelly, Stein, Feldman, Ahmad, Miguel, Toby, and Engleberg are all still in this, but the missing character's are the one's that are missed the most, one of the most notable absent is Tanner, who from my understanding had to back out've this because the kid who played him parent's were becoming "Increasingly uncomfortable with the profanity of his character". Whatever.....I've never been all that big a fan of Tanner, but even I know the movie will be dull without his shrill outbursts, racial slurs, and fighting everyone, I mean, he, other than Kelly is pretty much the only character that you can't just drop without an explanation. Other missing character's would be our beloved nerd Ogilvy, Our bugger eating moron Timmy, The English speaking Mexican Twin/brother Jose, and the Chachie Clone, Carmen.Next, there is the story, I guess it starts out somewhat promising, with a somewhat half smile humor of the opening. Then cut to the Bears watching some war movie and Ahamd and Feldman playing Chess, and Stein nagging at them to be more careful, then Engleberg of course, raiding the refrigerator. Then nothing but blah until one final funny part where the team is practicing their first practice since arriving in Japan and everyone keeps arguing about who's playing where then in the last awesome moment ever, Kelly pushes Ahamd and yells "God Damn it! Play Left!". But other than that it's boring. And the kid's are given little to do, with the exception of Kelly and Ahmad, but they don't do anything special here either.....Like the other film, this one is really bad on continuity, as they're going to Japan, like they were going to do when they won the game in Houston, but in this they're going for a different reason, which explains why they appear on a talk show with Regis looking for a coach, and it's there, the introduction of Coach Marvin Lazar, then they meet him at some restaurant and they get things set up. And in that part Kelly leaves and goes inside the bar in the restaurant and what else, flirts with older woman in the bar. But there's only one problem. HE DOESN'T LOOK 12 YEARS OLD ANYMORE. SO THEREFORE IT'S NOT FUNNY. And other stuff like, mainly, as much as it's hard to see the Bear's go, this movie just didn't work out.

Misadventures of the delinquents of the diamond came to an end with this unmemorable third and final film with Curtis, flashy in his 70's getup, leading the charge. This time the Bears travel to the Orient to take on a champion Japanese team and somehow return without starting World War III.