Fantastic!

Excellent but underrated film

Best movie of this year hands down!

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

Watching this film made me regret the invention of the DVD. I really wish The Cook had been on VHS, because then I could have broken the cassette and used the tape to wipe my ass. It's THAT bad.The story concerns a bunch of skanks who get left behind at their sorority while the other girls go Mexico for the weekend. There are three stoner skanks (Nina Fehren, Noelle Kenney and Justine Marino), a brainy skank with a face full of moles (Makinna Ridgway), a man-hungry skank (Stefanie E. Solano), a Christian skank (Brooke Lenzi), a lesbian skank (Penny Drake) and an aerobics work out skank (Kit Paquin). None of these actresses can actually, you know, act and their characters range from truly detestable to honestly annoying. A substitute cook (Mark Hengst) who speaks no English shows up at their sorority to prepare their meals for the weekend and he proceeds to kill everyone. A bunch of nonsense happens that is either logically or physically impossible and the movie thankfully ends.Words are almost incapable of describing how horrid this film is. The writing sucks. The acting sucks. The direction sucks. The sets suck. It's not exciting. It's not scary. It's not funny. It's not sexy. There are only two things that prevent The Cook from replacing H.P. Lovecraft's Behind the Wall of Sleep as the worst movie I've ever watched.1. There are a couple of scenes where raw meat is chopped up and fondled that are quite disgusting. The scenes are meant to be stomach-churning, so at least these filmmakers did something right.2. While these filmmakers obviously have no talent or skill, they also obviously understand that they're making a piece of stench-ridden cinematic garbage. So, they get a couple of points for self-awareness.One thing about The Cook makes me wonder. There is always something that these sort of no-budget, no-talent, crappy horror movies can have going for them. They can always have plenty of nudity. Even the most abominable work of cinema can find plenty of attractive women willing to take their clothes off for their big "show business break". Yet, despite having 8 reasonably pretty girls in the cast, only 2-and-a-half of them get naked and they are unclothed for a combined total of roughly one single minute. So, this pathetic trash doesn't even have enough gratuitous nudity to titillate a horny teenager.So, while I must still admit The Cook is not the absolute worst thing I've ever seen…it's damn close. It barely qualifies as filmed entertainment and should not be viewed by anyone except death row prisoners because watching it makes execution, whether it results in Hell or oblivion, seem like not that bad an idea.

The Cook is pretty much what I expected for a low-budget movie – entertaining but not spectacular. Its appeal would be primarily to high school and college males and females. Technically, it was far better than a lot of low-budgets that I've watched. But what detracted from this movie, in my opinion, was casting the girls as relatively unlikeable – either virtual whores or lesbians. How can we be sympathetic with these girls being killed?? The special effects were better than average for a movie of this type, but suspense was mostly lacking after the first girl was slaughtered, cooked, and served. The only suspense was which one would be next and which one(s) would be spared. Oh, and whether the girls would turn on the cook and kill him instead. (Maybe there was more suspense than I thought!) Loved the Lance character....excellent acting without any special dialog! The Cook was also well played but as a director I would have toned down his facial antics just a little. Worth buying - worth watching a 2nd time using slow-mo to watch the killings and the closeups of the kitchen preparations!

I liked the fact that the killing scenes were quite realistic and not overdone. The attacker did a good job of playing warm/friendly, then breaking into his bad role, then the height of his anger. Even though everyone knows from the poster who the bad guy will be, the element of surprise was nevertheless still there as to the method and details. I thought the coeds for the most part pulled off their death roles rather well, considering that they are not accomplished actresses. The meals served at the dining table were convincing, as were the few meat prep scenes in the kitchen. What I liked most were the 2 heads, but thought they would have been more effective if shown a few more seconds. The bit of humor that was included was a nice extra.

I was a bit worried for the first fifteen minutes or so that The Cook wasn't going to deliver. Some of the dialogue at the start is a bit clunky and when I first saw the guy playing the cook I was concerned that he wasn't going to be able to pull it off.As the movie progressed I was very happy to be proved wrong on all fronts and ended up having an awesome time watching this little horror comedy masterpiece. What can I say, I loved it and I'm looking forward to a sequel.If you're hoping to be able to take much of the movie seriously then you're watching the wrong film. This is played strictly for laughs and tongue in cheek at more or less every step. A lot of the humour is very dark, but somehow handled with a light touch.After the slightly shaky start, and once you accept the film for the cheesy fun-fest that it is you can enjoy it's off-the-wall handling and flavour. By the end I had come to think that the team that put it together had an inspired handling and quite a bit of originality going for them.It's not a big budget film, and it's a little shaky at the start, but as a fan of low-budget horror, 80's horror and horror comedy I recommend this film to those of similar tastes.