Touches You

A Major Disappointment

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

If you like to be scared, if you like to laugh, and if you like to learn a thing or two at the movies, this absolutely cannot be missed.

British studios made a number of anthology horror flicks in the '60s and '70s, and "Tales That Witness Madness" is one of them. It depicts a futuristic asylum in which the owner (Donald Pleasence) tells his colleague (Jack Hawkins, who died right before the movie got released) about the patients and how they went insane.I didn't like this one as much as movies like "Dr. Terror's House of Horrors" and "The House that Dripped Blood", but it's still entertaining. The tree segment is the neatest one. It just goes to show that horror flicks - even if they're not particularly scary - are best when they're not just scenes of people crawling around making scared faces. I will say that Kim Novak's character seems kind of flat, but the rest of the movie makes up for that. Also starring are Joan Collins and the recently deceased Mary Tamm.So yes, does anyone love me?

Visited by colleague Dr. Nicholas (Jack Hawkins), Dr. Tremayne (Donald Pleasence) explains his amazing and controversial theories as to why each of his four patients went mad... cue four distinct tales each with a different set of characters! I love anthologies and was therefore instantly interested in this one. My only disappointment was that there were four segments. At 90 minutes, there should probably only have been three. We just never have time to fully develop the stories... (Although, I have to say a decent job was done here.) Hooray for director Freddie Francis, best known for his work with Hammer. And hooray for Kim Novak, perhaps best known for "Vertigo". The Encyclopedia of Horror says the film "avoids farce and develops a nicely deadpan style of humour which is ably sustained by the excellent cast in which only Novak appears unable to hit the right note." Not sure why they singled her out... I thought she did fine.Interestingly, this was the last film of both Frank Forsyth and Jack Hawkins, and Kim Novak had been semi-retired when she replaced Rita Hayworth to take her role here.

Tales That Witness Madness (1973) ** (out of 4) In a futuristic asylum, Dr. Tremayne (Donald Pleasence) is talking to another doctor (Jack Hawkins) about four of his most troubled patients. As they're each introduced we hear their story of how they went mad. Up first we have a young boy who has an imaginary friend who just happens to be a tiger but his mother doesn't believe him. Up next is a man who owns an antique shop and goes back in time due to a penny-farthing bike. The third story involves a man who finds a human-shaped tree and brings it home, which doesn't sit well with his wife. The final story involves a man who needs a human sacrifice to protect the soul of his mother. TALES THAT WITNESS MADNESS was directed by Freddie Francis and was just one of many anthology tales that were released during this era. While none of the four stories are awful, it's quite clear that none of them are very good either. The biggest problem is that all four stories just never reach a very interesting level and the majority of the time you're just sitting there not really caring what's going on. With that said, each story usually has at least one or two good parts no matter how bland the rest is. The fourth story is probably the weakest but there's a murder sequence that is quite brutal. The third story is laughable but there's a tree attack sequence that really seems to have been lifted by THE EVIL DEAD years later. The film does feature a pretty good cast, including Joan Collins but in the end not even they can save the material. There's no question that this was trying to get in on the TALES FROM THE CRYPT craze but it's too bad that the screenplay lets everyone down.

Although often mistaken for an Amicus Production, (creators of most of those terrific portmanteu horror films from the 60's and 70's Tales From The Crypt, Vault Of Horror etc...), this is actually not related to that production company, however, it was directed by Hammer and Amicus stalwart, Freddie Francis. I like Francis as a director, really dig Joan Collins and love horror anthology movies in general. But it still took me 3 separate viewings to finish this one. It was just so dull. Donald Pleasence is dry and monotonous as usual in the framing segment as he takes another doctor on a tour of the mental hospital where he works. He introduces him to four patients, each of whom has a "tale that is supposed to witness madness". These include: a young boy with constantly bickering parents who creates an imaginary playmate - a ferocious lion. A man who receives a penny farthing bicycle that is a time machine. Joan Collins and a rotting piece of tree fighting over a man. And a luau party thrown by a woman who does not realize that her own daughter is the sacrificial guest of honor. None of the four stories were particularly interesting, the wraparound was dry and there was little to no gore (not that that is so important but at least it would have provided some entertainment). Don't go out of your way to track this one down. It's pretty bad.