Purely Joyful Movie!

Don't Believe the Hype

Bad Acting and worse Bad Screenplay

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

When I was 12 years old this movie was one of my favorite movies, but if I look at Boa vs. Python now, I say that it was stupid one. I like snakes a lot, but these snakes looks like reptiles from galaxy far, far away from us. Effects in movie was worse than in old PC games. Actors were good, but sometimes they were unbelievable stupid. My rating for this movie is 4 out of 10 because I can't go lower but neither higher. First star for snake-movie, second for funny moments and next two stars for last snake fight.P.S. If I will have commando what need to kill huge snake, I will call more than 5 members.

Boa vs. Python is the kind of movie the term B-movie was invented for. Its title is absurdly evocative, low brow and basic. It's also obviously exploitative, cashing in on a trend for big snake movies and franchise crossovers. Made around the time of Freddy vs. Jason (2003) and Alien vs. Predator (2004) and Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004).Bearing little connection to its predecessors, Boa (2001), Python (2000) and Python 2 (2002), Boa vs. Python is appropriately tongue-in-cheek and well made within its limitations. It's ambitious too, the casting, cinematography, editing and music imitate Michael Bay's blockbusters, but this is strictly in the tradition of the cheapest and simplest of monster movies.Despite the presence of a nerdy good guy scientist and a macho playboy, the instigator of the carnage, this is classically sexist filmmaking. The duo of scaly stars may be the selling point but two female stars are just as important to the movie. Displaying their charms to keep things interesting until it's time for the chaos to begin. Playboy playmate Jaime Bergman leads the cast in the role of intelligent but non-threatening blonde heroine, a marine biologist introduced wearing a bikini. While her opposite is a tattooed bad girl (Angel Boris). Both characters are lifted straight out of the James Bond formula and invite a good deal of attention from male onlookers both on screen and off. Of particular note is an extended nude scene, in which the villain's girlfriend takes a bath, then performs a full-frontal dialogue scene (carefully shot to avoid being overtly sleazy). Perhaps it's appropriate that a film about phallic figures objectify women so blatantly. Unfortunately the novelty of the sexy casting, flashy camera moves and militaristic score wears a little thin after a while. When the snake vs. snake set-pieces take centre stage things start to deflate just when they should be getting good. The computer generated "stars" are far too poorly rendered and too briefly seen, it becomes a touch tiresome and their all too brief final showdown leaves us disappointed. Although certain moments stand out, such as a risqué scene in which a young woman is orally pleasured by a giant snake.With its cast of beautiful people, bikini-clad extras, an emphasis on style over substance and a rock soundtrack - this is modern American genre filmmaking at its most formulaic. But when judged against films such as it's own predecessors, Boa vs. Python is to a certain extent a triumph. Exceeding expectations if even for a short while. It's certainly better than either Snakes on a Plane (2006) or Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009).

Boa vs. Python starts as rich casino owner & big game hunter Broddick (Adamo Palladino) has a huge 80 foot Python imported from South East Asia with the intention of staging a one of a kind hunt, however just outside Phillidelphia the snake breaks free & disappears into some underground tunnels. FBI Agent Sharpe (Kirk B.R. Woller) is on the case, this guy has a pretty wild imagination because he flies in Monica (Jaime Bergman) from the Miami Marine Research Institute to help fit a huge 80 foot Boa with special monitoring equipment because they intend to release the Boa which will hunt down the Python & bingo job done. However the FBI has more to worry about than just 80 foot snakes as Broddick still wants his hunt & Pillidelphia is as good a place as any, I mean so what if innocent people lose their lives...Directed by David Flores this is quite simply an incredible film, an incredible film for all the wrong reasons of course & one that you have to see to believe. The script by Chase Parker & Sam Wells is absolutely preposterous from start to finish, this really is one of the dumbest & stupidest films I've seen & it wouldn't surprise me if the filmmakers took that as a compliment. At least it doesn't take itself seriously & I'm convinced the humour & silliness on show here is deliberate although I admit I didn't find any of it particularly funny. For a start the character's are awful, from dumb local cops to incompetent FBI agents to heavily armed soldiers who just stand there while some guy with a flame thrower turns them into human toast without firing a single shot back. The dialogue is terrible, people reactions & decision making is awful & you know your in trouble when they cast the likes of Playboy Playmate January 1999 Jaime Bergman as a brilliant marine scientist! You can't take the film seriously for a second, it's just so ridiculous & the basic premise is totally moronic. To it's credit it moves along like a rocket & provides some entertainment on a so bad it's good level.Director Flores does OK I suppose, it looks nice enough although it does resemble flashy music videos & commercials at times. There's a surprising amount of female nudity on show here, it certainly outweighs the gore side of things which is low as there's a couple of bitten in half bodies & that's it. There is also one priceless moment in Boa vs. Python the likes of which will probably never be repeated again, while having oral sex with his girlfriend a guy is dragged off & killed by the Python which then goes back & finishes the job off for him with it's slimy forked tongue! The snakes themselves aren't really in it enough & when they do eventually get to fight for all of 30 seconds at the end it's rather pathetic & poorly animated. There are numerous classic bad film moments throughout this that will go down in cinematic history & really do have to be seen to be believed.Technically the film is alright, the snake CGI computer effects aren't too bad generally speaking although some bits here & there are terrible. Set in Phillidelphia but actually filmed in Sofia in Bulgaria. The less said about the acting on show here the better I think.Boa vs. Python is just one of those cinematic experiences which almost defies explanation, it really is as ridiculous & dumb as it sounds but if you turn your brain off it might provide a few decent laughs. Impossible to recommend as it's terrible but there's a bit of fun to be had here if you look hard enough. Follows & brings together Python (2000), Python 2 (2002) & New Alcatraz (2002) which featured the 80 foot Boa.

To truly appreciate films like this, you just have to approach them at the right angle! The film is crap...yes. The CGI is laughable, the plot is none-existent and (aside from David Hewlett who makes the most of what he has) the acting is atrocious. But this film (along with other such gems as Charlies Angels: Full Throttle and...well...pretty much any film with Arnold Swachenegger or William Shatner in it), is just one of those SO EXCRUCIATINGLY AWFUL movies that go through the boundaries of crap into hysterically funny. I guarantee that if you watch this film with a few other guys or gals who are in the mood for it, you will find it as funny as I did.How can any film with these lines be bad?: "That snake is big. Big is good.", "God I hate you son." and "Guys like that, they get what they want. their own casinos, a hot biscuit like her, and now he's getting the first shot at killing our snake. F**ck that!" I rest my case.