Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous

November. 07,2008      PG-13
Rating:
4.3
Trailer Synopsis Cast

When fluffy, bubble gum movie star Megan Valentine suddenly finds herself broke and humiliated in the public eye, she wanders from the wreckage of a car accident and witlessly enlists in the U.S. Army hoping in vain that it will change her life.

Jessica Simpson as  Private Megan Valentine
Vivica A. Fox as  Sergeant Louisa Morely
Steve Guttenberg as  Sidney Green
Aimee Garcia as  Private Vicky Castillo
Olesya Rulin as  Private Petrovich
Keiko Agena as  Private Hailey Hamamori
Jill Marie Jones as  Private Connie Johnson
Ryan Sypek as  Sergeant Mills Evans
Cheri Oteri as  Private Jeter
Gary Grubbs as  Captain Greer

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Reviews

Konterr
2008/11/07

Brilliant and touching

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Console
2008/11/08

best movie i've ever seen.

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Dynamixor
2008/11/09

The performances transcend the film's tropes, grounding it in characters that feel more complete than this subgenre often produces.

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Haven Kaycee
2008/11/10

It is encouraging that the film ends so strongly.Otherwise, it wouldn't have been a particularly memorable film

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mattkratz
2008/11/11

OK, I'll admit, I found myself thinking of "Private Benjamin" with Goldie Hawn when I saw this movie on the shelf at Blockbuster. I rented it on a whim, though, with a free coupon, and I'm glad I did. I thought the movie was really hilarious. Jessica Simpson's character is a spoiled movie actress who suddenly finds herself down on her luck when her movie bombs, her boyfriend turns out to be gay, and her accountant has been robbing her blind. The last straw comes when she crashes her car, and she winds up in front of an army recruitment office. She joins on a whim, expecting star treatment, and gets far from it. She winds up getting a real wakeup call, including the usual "sabotage scene" and distrust parts throughout. You might like this movie if you like the stars and comedy movies. I did. It features the motif of a character maturing, and she does.** 1/2 out of ****

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Ana Kephra
2008/11/12

While completely inaccurate in all the army experience Private Valentine shows, this is a cute and light hearted movie, good for watching with your girlfriends in a sleepover or with your family in a pleasant afternoon.Not a movie to laugh out loud, not a movie with a romance to take your breath away, this is the kind of movie that makes you go "awwww, how sweet". Which for me, is perfect!The acting is good, the storyline is okay and it actually surprised my expectations considering the title, the cover and the casting. It was particularly good to see Keiko Agena again, I missed her after Gilmore Girls! I recommend it to anyone who is not expecting a cinema masterpiece in every movie they watch, or who is easily offended by how movies don't show reality exactly the way it is. You might have a good time watching it!

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stina4242
2008/11/13

I was waiting for this movie to come out since before her last one was released and could not believe how long it was taking and how they skipped the theater release. I mean Jessica got a lot of harsh criticism for this role but I think she nailed it. I was expecting it to be awful since it went straight to DVD, but I was pleasantly surprised.This movie was actually really funny and she did great in this role! I wish people wouldn't be so hard on her and hope her career in either movie or music does not end anytime soon.Seriously worth watching!

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Blueghost
2008/11/14

I grabbed the DVD off of the local Blockbuster new release shelf. One shouldn't judge a book (or film) by the DVD cover, but I guess I'm a sucker for a hot-blonde in military uniform. I knew not to expect too much of it, and, well, that's kind of what the viewer got, but there was a bit more here than meets the eye.Years back when Goldie Hawn did Private Benjamin there was a lot of hype about the comic and comedic overtones of "Private Benjamin". But, it turned out to be a serious film with humor sprinkled in here and there. "Private Benjamin" was funny, but it wasn't light entertainment. It had some social commentary and other messages to convey to the audience. In this regard I was personally let down by "Private Benjamin", although I understand it as a quality film, and appreciate it as such."Private Valentine", on the other hand, is cut from a different cloth. It takes the Goldie Hawn film, removes the heavy undercurrent meat and replaces it with a light frothy soufflé. Jessica Simpson doesn't play the heavily laden woman nearing a conjuncture in her life, and is taken in by a more than slick military ad campaign. Simpson's character starts off as a lightweight star who wants to be taken seriously, but is not given the opportunity because of both the roles she's given, and the deeper reason of why she's given said roles. It takes Uncle Sam to turn her into "An army of one", so to speak. And a one-woman wrecking crew she becomes.Unlike Private Benjamin, the Cold War is over, so there's no "Red menace" and/or scare to play off of. The sexual tension in this film is kept light and romantic, as opposed to the expose on abuse that Hawn's film portrayed. In short, it's light entertainment. "Private Valentine" is meant to be nothing more than that.Having said this, and having a loose and tacit respect for this film, I do admit that it could have been executed better, particularly in the first act. The beginning of the film seems cobbled together, and not thoroughly vetted as it could have been. The whole movie seems to have been a bargain production, though not quite as low as a B-movie extravaganza. As such the exposition and staging are somewhat restrained.Jessica Simpson herself is actually quite good in this role. In fact, everyone does a good job, but I was particularly impressed with Simpson's acting ability, and this comment comes from a man who is not one of her fans. There was no heavy emoting to be doe here, but Simpson did show us a diverse set of acting abilities. If the directing had been tightened up a little, then this film, Simpson included, could have really shined and exceeded all expectations.As it stands now it's just light entertainment. Don't expect a remake of "Private Benjamin", because it really isn't. It takes the premise of that film, and, in a sense, turns it on its head to create something mildly enjoyable, and not overly wrought with social commentary, drama and character angst.Not a great film, but then it was never meant to be one. Just something to watch on a lazy Sunday afternoon. If you go in not expecting too much, then you should be okay with it. The only warning I'd give is that it's a proverbial chick-flick. So, to my fellow testosterone comrades, try not to be overly critical of it.Give it a shot.

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