Cheerleader Massacre
March. 05,2003 RFive high school cheerleaders, their coach and a couple of adolescent sex-crazed guys travel to a cabin in the woods for a weekend getaway only to be killed off one by one by an unseen maniac.
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Reviews
Memorable, crazy movie
A lot of perfectly good film show their cards early, establish a unique premise and let the audience explore a topic at a leisurely pace, without much in terms of surprise. this film is not one of those films.
Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.
It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.
These cheerleaders didn't do a whole lot of cheering in this movie, nor were they ever dressed in cheerleader outfits or waved around pom-poms. These girls seemed a bit old for HS cheerleaders. Tammie Sheffield does have a bit of a Denise Austin horsey voice to her, if you like that kind of thing. This was more of a religious movie, as cleanliness is next to godliness, and these girls like to take showers and rub soap all over their dirty sweaty chests. The deleted scene consists of 3 girls in a tub pouring chocolate syrup over their chests and then licking it off. It has a certain straight male appeal to it. This is done in the classic 1980's style where beautiful women (minus clothes) fill the screen and we had to guess who the slasher was between the shower and sex scenes. Not quite Slumber Party Massacre, but then what is?
Admittedly the subject title of this user comments is somewhat misleading and overly dramatized, since you can hardly refer to "The Slumber Party Massacre" (of which this film is a belated fourth entry) as being a great or even remotely significant 80s horror/slasher franchise. The 1982 original and part 3 released in 1990 were reasonably entertaining flicks, but the first 1987 sequel is beyond retarded and the overall series is forgettable and mediocre at best. Still, the fact that producers of the new Millennium keep reviving long lost franchises like these clearly shows that everyone in the horror industry nostalgically craves back to the simplicity and lusciousness of the wondrous eighties' decade In the hands of talented and ambitious directors this can lead to enjoyable and adequately made homage/throwback movies (like "The Final Girls", "The Sleeper" or "Bloody Homecoming"), but with someone like Jim Wynorski in the director's seat, it's bound to be a senseless and incompetent piece of garbage! Wynorski nevertheless made a couple of decent movies himself during the 80s, like "Chopping Mall" and "Not of this Earth", but since the mid-90s he devoted his career to unleashing approximately 5 – 7 inferior pieces of crap per year (!) and their only reason of existence is showing copious amounts of gratuitous nudity and soft-core. "Cheerleader Massacre" superficially looks like a mindlessly fun slasher with gory massacres and plenty of nudity provided by fresh and voluptuous B-movie starlets, at least based on the DVD-cover and the brief synopsis on the back, but in reality this film delivers not much of anything. Some of the babes in the cast go topless or spend a long time in the shower, but the sexiest ones incomprehensibly remain dressed and run around the sets clueless and for no particular reason. Heck, they can't even properly get referred to as "cheerleaders" since they never wear their outfits or practice with pom-poms! Was that really too much to ask for, Wynorski?!? The gore and bloodshed is seriously disappointing as well. Apart from a headless corpse at the front door (realized with lousy special effects) and a weak electrocution (realized with even lousier special effects), this "massacre" is tame, boring and frustrating. What else is there to mention? The idiotic script, perhaps, that is full of dreadful clichés and predictable twists. A handful of bimbo cheerleaders, accompanied by their busty female coach and a couple of dim-witted stoner guys, head out for a tournament on the other side of a snowy and isolated mountain region. As a matter of course their van breaks down just before nightfall, so they have to seek shelter in an abandoned cabin where they indulge in booze, sex and dumb campfire stories. And yes, evidently, there's a maniacal killer at large in the area, but is he/she really responsible for the number of corpses that are piling up? Of course not! I don't even understand why the script assumes they can mislead us with this red herring, as the first murder is committed while the girls are still in school; dozens of miles away from the place where they spend the night. It's a common problem for stupid movies to assume that the audience is equally stupid, I guess. Brinke Stevens, starlet of the original 1982 "Slumber Party Massacre", is dragged into the movie, only so that her testimony and flashback archive footage can fill up an additional few minutes of running time. Unlike her, I personally prefer not to waste any further time on this dud Avoid, that's all I can say!
Don't be foolish enough to take this film for face value, it is clearly an abomination as far as legitimate cinema goes. This movie is also however a masterpiece of the poorly made, soft-core porn, horror variety. How can you possible go wrong? Do what I did, get really bored and make sure no one with you is a pretentious ass without a sense of humor. Next, pop this bad boy into your DVD player and blaze. After 20 minutes, hit play and prepare to laugh your ass off like never before. This will however only last about an hour or so before you pass out from inevitable boredom. Never take a movie like this too seriously and you cannot lose.
I must have read too many Leanord Maltin movie review books, because whenever I see a fiasco like this, I just wanna pick it apart and give a bad review. Yet I love the B-movies and find them the only movies I watch. I just cannot sit through a big-budget film lately. If I sound critical of this, I'm sorry. This is a stupid movie. Fans of the '80's slashers might enjoy it for a while, because the killer, so we are supposed to believe is the killer from the original Slumber Party Massacre film. You really cannot find a slasher film made today where some angry psycho comes rumbling out of the woods to hack up the teen cast, as in Madman, The Burning, all the Jason movies, etc., etc., etc.It's always one of the lead characters with some grudge against his/her friends. The grudge here is laughable. I'm not going to get into that. I did enjoy the first hour and 10 minutes of this. Even though it was haphazard in every department, I felt myself entertained. It was shot on video, low-budget and crude, but it felt like a good trash crap flick. Then the conclusion started up, and I felt cheated. I don't consider this a Slumber Party Massacre sequel, and I didn't coming into this weird film. Hard to Die, Sorority House Massacre 2. They recycled Slumber Party Massacre footage. Why can't Cheerleader Massacre? Ugghh... If this was intended to be a sequel to the Slumber Party Massacre series, there would have been a 4 in the title. The makers just wanted to see if they could get a new series started up. That's why the title was changed at the last minute. Anyway, I did find myself watching the film intently for the first hour, but when the killer was revealed, I was let down. Not bad for a B-movie. Not good for a sequel to any of the 3 films I mentioned above. Has some horrendous lines. The male characters love to say "sweet". Buzz flubbs his lines. One character says "I knew this would be a bad day when we ate those stale donuts". Another says "Nobody has lived here for a while", when the cast walks into a furnished house,with electricity and food in the fridge. Hmmm. Two stars.