Sorry, this movie sucks

a film so unique, intoxicating and bizarre that it not only demands another viewing, but is also forgivable as a satirical comedy where the jokes eventually take the back seat.

Blistering performances.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

Carlos Seguin (Erik Estrada) and his new partner Tracy (Julia Benson) are investigating a murder. Erik believes it is some kind of gang killing while Tracy opts for CG canines. If you read the title of the film, you already know it is the CG canines known as Chupacabra, which look like a big ugly coyote. Carlos has family issues which become part of the film as they try to iron out their problems.The special effects make for a campy film. The CG animals, CG gun fire, and the scenery moving in the background as Erik rides his bike, like a 1940's film. His jumping over a car and the use of a CG grenade was perhaps the highlights of the campy humor. The dialouge was fairly lame with noticeable music and scene changes for commercial breaks.There is plenty of fake blood and killing as these animals who have lived in the wild have mastered door knob operations with their first attempt. Unless you are a fan of bad SyFy films, stay away.Parental Guide: No f-bombs, sex, or nudity.

RELEASED TO TV IN 2013 and directed by Terry Ingram, the curiously titled "Chupacabra vs. the Alamo" details events in the San Antonio, TX, area when DEA agents (Erik Estrada, Julia Benson & Vanesa Tomasino) team-up with Hispanic outlaws in order to wipeout packs of rabid chupacabras. Jorge Vargas plays the estranged gang-oriented son of the head DEA agent (Estrada).'Chupacabra' is a Spanish word, which literally means "goat-sucker" (from chupar "to suck" and cabra "goat"). There are two varieties of the cryptozoological beast: (1.) a reptile-like creature with leathery/scaly greenish-gray skin and sharp spines or quills running down its back; and (2.) a hairless form of canine with a pronounced spinal ridge and prominent eye sockets, fangs, and claws. This movie features the second version.This is basically Hispanic TV horror with CGI chupacabras getting wiped out en masse. The movie starts serious, but becomes increasingly humorous as it moves along, particularly the second half. The first half is more engaging due to the human interest, which segues into the dynamic, but less interesting second half where there's an explosive (Surprise!) showdown at the Alamo.Estrada is in perfect shape at 63 years-of-age during filming (looking almost 20 years younger) and is stalwart as the hero. Benson is reminiscent of Sean Young when she was younger and has a marvel-inducing face & full head of brunette hair, but she needs to gain like 15-20 lbs. Nicole Muñoz & Anja Savcic as the Estrada character's daughter and her bestie are cute. Tomasino is adorable in her own unique way as well.THE MOVIE RUNS 88 minutes and was shot in San Antonio, Texas. WRITERS: Peter Sullivan & Jeffrey Schenck.GRADE: B-/C+

The title is great and the idea was intriguing, so there was potential to be had in Chupacabra vs. The Alamo. Sadly, its potential that was never really met. While Chupacabra vs. The Alamo is not a good movie and has much of what is so wrong with SyFy's movies in the first place, it was not terrible either and SyFy have certainly done much worse. There are things that are done decently, there is some energy to be seen, the music is not too generic or overbearing and the acting from Erik Estrada and Julia Benson is better than average. The rest of the acting ranges from over-the-top to bland, Aleks Paunovic doesn't have much worthwhile to do and the role is rather strange. And Nicole Munoz badly overdoes the stereotypical bratty daughter character, who is written in such a way that you actually want to strangle her. Chupacabra vs. The Alamo is also the sort of movie that screams of a Danny Trejo cameo but never happened. In all fairness though, the actors do have to work with really clichéd and clunky-sounding dialogue and characters that have no development or likability to them(there's an effect of them being there only for the sake of them having to be there as part of the movie). The pacing is somewhat uneven, there is energy of course, but it can also get rather erratic, especially in the attack scenes, while the melodramatic moments and how the story unfolds takes too much time to do so. The story is to be polite utter nonsense, it also takes too much time to build up(90 minutes or so in until they reach the Alamo), the attacks are not very inventive or memorable instead coming across as predictable and too hurriedly edited, and it is really bogged down by the melodrama. While there are worse-looking movies from SyFy, Chupacabra vs. The Alamo is not really that well-made. The settings are drab and not that much different from many other SyFy movies from the same genre, and the editing is too choppy and frantic. The CGI for the dogs looks horrible, and the dogs themselves are too cute and indifferently designed to be taken seriously as menacing antagonists, which is another reason why the impact of the attacks were diminished as much as they were. And I also did not like the use of the green-screen shots for the parts with the motorcycle, they look amateurish, look out of place and are over-used. On the whole, there is definitely worse to be seen but even when you know what to expect this was an example of good potential wasted by mediocre at best execution. 3.5/10 Bethany Cox

If you tuned in expecting Avatar, well then, you're a moron. As a veteran of many SyFy Channel Original movies, I have come to expect that these movies offer a guilty pleasure, much like not being able to turn off MmmBop when it comes on the radio. They are formulaic and downright predictable, but that is NOT why we watch. I fully realize that the movie is never going to wind up on a year end best of list, but it WILL provide and evening of classic B- movie enjoyment. These are no worse than the classic B-movies of the 1970's. Having said that, I have some thoughts.Now for the review of C v. A. Let's start first with the Chupacabra. Clearly, these were not real chupacabras. But I digress. These were chupacabras that had been following the Lance Armstrong conditioning program. For example, the chupacabra seen in this film averaged about a 30-40 lb animal. This animal then proceeded to launch a youth of about 18 years old twenty feet into the air and through the uprights of a goal post on the high school football team. We all know that the chupacabra would have to be at LEAST 60-70 lbs to do that. However, the size of the chupacabras remained constant throughout the movie, unlike other SyFy originals (e.g. the shark in MegaShark v. Crockasaurus). So for that, this edges closer to Oscar worthy. The creature also pitches a human head about 87 mph at a truck driven by a really horrible cartel. Now onto Ponch, or should we say Paunch. When did he get emphysema? The poor bastard was breathing hard throughout the entire picture. Seriously. Lay off the Newports. Others may malign the motorcycle "green screen" shots, but these really made the movie. And it's not like he really rode the motorcycle on CHiPs either. It was nice to see him again, especially since he wasn't trying to sell me land in Florida, and not everyone can be chosen for Dancing with the Stars. His performance was no better or worse than it was on CHiPs and we loved him then. We just accepted him as a Hispanic/Italian cop who did well with the ladies and acted like crap. And as for the supporting cast in this movie, without cheating, name any other actor from the CHiPs series. Yes, including Larry Wilcox. I can honestly say that this movie was NOT NEARLY as bad as some of the other recent SyFy offerings. For what it's worth, it provided a good amount of laughter and action. Along with the terribly corny dialog. Try it. You'll like it.