I'll tell you why so serious

Brilliant and touching

Although it has its amusing moments, in eneral the plot does not convince.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

Two law officers stumble onto a drug operation on an isolated Hawaiian island and are killed. Donna and Taryn are working for The Agency. They fly their small plane with honeymooners and a stowaway toxic snake infected with cancer infested rats. They leave the honeymooners on the deserted beach. Drug lord Seth Romero is transporting diamonds in his remote control helicopter but the girls intercept them while fighting off gun toting henchmen. The girls get help from Rowdy Abilene and Jade from the Agency as they battle Seth's goons at Edy's resort.There is no denying that this is intended to be a B-movie of guns and boobs. It has some limited charms if not taken seriously. The production is amateurish. The boobs from these Playboy models are big. The shootouts are done poorly and laughably. It's unintended comedy. The acting is slightly better than porn level. The lines are really cheesy to the point of being funny bad. I think somebody can come up with a great drinking game with this movie.

Hard ticket to Hawaii was introduced to me by pure randomness, on a rainy day of having nothing to do, I looked out on the Internet movies considered so horrible and cheesy, that they are actually hilarious and entertaining! I saw all of them except that one movie; Hard ticket to Hawaii... And... Oh.. My.. F****ng God, this movie is a masterpiece of awful! I mean, it's like if a Porn movie and Rambo had a baby... Let me sum up this movie in a few words; Boobs, Guns, Drugs, Blood, Lots of boobs and A GIANT SNAKE! After reading this, you probably have the urge of watching this flick out, if not well... Good for you, cause that movie if really terrible!For those who wants to be entertained by nudity violence and hilariously bad dialogues, watch this movie you'll laugh your butt off! For those who wants a cinematic and artistic experience of art, well, why are you even on this page?! This movie, as a normal dude who wants to be entertained, deserves an 8/10... For the mainstream critics, it is AT BEST a 3/10... In my humble opinion! Thanks for reading!

Hot babe government agents Donna Hamilton (luscious Dona Speir) and Taryn (adorable Hope Marie Carlton) work together to bring down Seth Romero (hammily essayed with snarly aplomb by Rodrigo Obregon), a vicious local drug kingpin who finances his nefarious operation by smuggling diamonds. Meanwhile, a large lethal snake gets loose and goes on a rampage. Writer/director Andy Sidaris makes sure that this deliciously cheesy junk delivers what it promises: oodles of tasty gratuitous female nudity, lush tropical locations, ineptly staged action set pieces (lots of stuff blows up real good during the climactic exciting raid of the bad guys' head quarters), a winningly campy sense of self-parodic humor (sample line: "Tomorrow we kick a** and take names"), a bouncy soundtrack, bumbling henchmen, and a nice smattering of bloody violence. Granted, Speir and Carlton aren't the most deft actresses on the planet, but they are both quite charming and, of course, look great in their birthday suits. The game cast have a ball with the goofy material: Ronn Moss as amiable klutzy hunk Rowdy Abilene, Harold Diamond as mighty macho man Jade, the delectable Cynthia Brimhall as classy restaurant hostess Edy Stark, Wolf Larson as dashing he-man J.J. Jackson, and ripped lady bodybuilder Lory Green as vicious torturer Rosie. Sidaris has a funny and sizable uncredited secondary part as Whitey the TV director. Howard Wexler's bright cinematography makes the most of the sunny Hawaiian scenery. Gary Stockdale's lively score does the rousing trick. A complete schlocky blast.

One of the hottest looking "actresses" ever. Lots of nudity, even when they have clothing on they are usually running around and wear very sexy outfits so it's still pretty cool. Despite the obvious appeal because of the babes, this movie is filled lots of action and is fun too watch. Not exactly on the level of Citizen Kane, but hey who cares, Orson Wells never looked this good!