I'll tell you why so serious

To all those who have watched it: I hope you enjoyed it as much as I do.

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

I know that the reviewers who really give this a good, positive review and my judgement of what's makes a good movie are very, vastly, extremely different. If I paid money to see this as a straight-up movie I would have been gone at about 33 minutes and putting some effort to get my money back. This is laugh out loud funny where it ain't supposed to be. Catch the Rifftrax version, you'll be glad you did.

I'm going to reveal something shocking: Cool As Ice is not that bad.What? Really? Yes. While it doesn't reach the heights of an actual good or even competent movie, it's the fun factor which fuels it.Vanilla Ice gives maybe one of the most awkward performances you'll ever see, but that is part of what is so hilarious. In a movie practically tailormade for you, about how you're the most rebellious and "rad" one in town, tell me with honesty you really wouldn't jump at the chance and enjoy yourself, trying to seem as cool as you possibly could, no matter what everyone else would think. In that way, he's exactly the same as the character in the movie.Long-time Janus Jaminski gives the movie a very wonky, appropriately 90's style look as well. The movie is heavy on the music, and there's a soundtrack throughout which nicely sets up every scene. And while the raps might be cheesy, they could stand quite solidly on their own and work as party tunes.My only problem is when it gets too serious. I'm watching this to laugh, not to see poor Vanilla Ice half-heartedly try to act emotional. But it's not a major detriment to the entertainment, and Michael Gross stands out as the only actor who comes off as convincing. Even when face to face with villains so cartoony you would think you turned over to Disney Channel.There is some hysterical dialogue throughout, but I'm not sure if it's funny because it's well-written dumb comedy, or if it's just funny because it's purely dumb. Either way, it doesn't matter. Because at the end of the day...... just add ice. Drop it!

Watching the rise and fall of a flash-in-the-pan celebrity is always a little painful. That is especially true in the case of Vanilla Ice, a man whose lack of discernible talent, coupled with his persistence on building a cottage industry upon one silly rap song, brought about the demise of his career in the early 90s almost before it got started.Never has one man done so much with so little. Vanilla Ice - whose assumed stage name was apparently an improvement over Robbie Van Winkle - built his public persona on a square-jawed, white-as-an-eggshell rapper who could dance like Hammer and lay down some made rhymes, whatever that means. He was also persistently dedicated to forming his own language based on annoying, yet marketable, buzzwords: "Word to ya mutha" and "Vanilla Ice melts in ya mouth not in ya hand." Wordsworth, he ain't.Added to his lack of talent, Vanilla Ice became a brand name, culminating his strange association with the Ninja Turtles. Yet, even THAT wasn't the most ridiculous choice made about his career. The low-point was his desire – after proving every other lack of originality – to become a movie star.NOW there's a problem. Here he's entering the movie world, my world. Its one thing for this egotistical blowhard to take a wrecking ball to the world of rap music, but it's quite another for him to infiltrate the world of movies. Fortunately his singular effort was so horrifying that he never got a chance to follow it up.If I can find one thing about "Cool As Ice" to be impressed by, it may be that this eggshell talent managed to find a movie that is as flat, boring and generic as he is. I'm not sure what the plan was, but based on the narrative (believe it or not, it has one), the movie seems to be wedged somewhere between an Afterschool Special and one of those annoying cereal commercials with lots of neon colors and frantic motion. All that's missing a cartoon cat.It also might be mistaken for being a remake of the Brando classic "The Wild One" if I were convinced that Vanilla Ice or his crew had ever even heard of that movie. The movie is set in and around the luminousness that is Vanilla Ice. He plays Johnny Van Owen, a rapper who dresses in clothes that look patched together from bits of neon fabric. He travels around with his homies on motorcycles moving from gig to gig.The image of Johnny is something to behold. When he isn't dancing and rapping (which makes up the first seven minutes of the movie) he is generally seen bathed in a swath of white light as if sent from Heaven on the back of a stupid looking yellow motorcycle. His adventure begins when he comes across Kathy (Kristen Minter), a raven-haired beauty of the 2400 SAT set (believe it or not, Minter has the role originally offered to Gwyneth Paltrow).It isn't enough for she and Johnny to simply have a relationship, but the movie gives her a jerko boyfriend (Victor DiMattia) and a father (played "Family Ties" star Michael Gross) who is in the Witness Protection Program. Oh, and there's a little brother who thinks Johnny is the second coming.I must stop here and talk about an issue that can no longer go ignored. The issue being Janusz Kaminski, the great Polish cinematographer whose career was capped by an Oscar win for "Schindler's List" and then such distinguished credits as "Saving Private Ryan", "Catch Me If You Can", "Jerry Maquire", "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" and "Lincoln." YET, his career began with the Vanilla Ice vehicle "Cool As Ice." You have to wonder if he leaves it off his resume.In doing some digging, I find a quote from the great D.P. and I uncovered this one: "Truly, when you look at a horse, there are no emotions in its eyes. They don't blink, they don't smile and they don't get sad. They just get tired." I have to wonder if he was thinking of Vanilla Ice when he said that.

this film is quite simply a masterpiece the strong complex story driving plot really pushed the wonderful narrative to an amazing height with its VERY well written dialogue and vanilla ices natural charm and charisma gracing the screen along with his natural Oscar winning acting ability really makes this the Ultimate action film / love story its funny its Intense its just an all Round Brilliant Film combining the Emotion of romeo and Juliet And the Action of a Micheal bay flick along with Quentin Tarantino like Genius dialogue makes this the fines Film to Grace American cinema this film came out 25yrs ago and is still leagues above anything that has come after it the word MASTERPIECE is IMO used to often but in cool as ices case its 100% Justified.10/10