Thanks for the memories!

Just perfect...

If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

it is finally so absorbing because it plays like a lyrical road odyssey that’s also a detective story.

It's been a week since I watched the 1978 horror film 'Piranha' and, as I sit down to type, I'm struggling to remember what it was about. Yes, there are killer fish. And they ate people – that much I'm sure. However, besides those two most basic of plot points, I can't seem to think of much else. But I did like it – while I watched it anyway. In fact, I think it was the second time I've seen it, but then it might have got a bit blurred with the more recent remake. Anyway, from the little that is still with me…A swarm of – slightly mutated – killer piranhas gets accidentally released from a Government testing lab and go on the rampage down a stream (luckily they're limited to inflicting carnage on people who have strayed into the water – if you're interested, the sequel takes care of the question, 'What if piranhas WEREN'T limited to JUST the water!). And, what follows pretty much checks off every horror cliché in existence.Character have sex... and then die – check. Evil military – check. Dastardly British villain – check. Beautiful heroine who never succumbs to nudity – check. Official who won't believe what's really happening and puts money before public safety – check. And so on. Then there's the gore. You may be expecting a film about swarms of killer fish to be loaded with the red stuff. Well, it is. The water turns red on many an occasion. However, that doesn't really mean you see anything. Maybe due to budget limitations, 'red water' serves as a way of showing hideous death without ever really showing much of what's really happening.So, all in all, 'Piranha' is pretty underwhelming. And yet I felt quite satisfied while watching it. If you're looking for a cheap 'Jaws' knock-off and don't mind seventies low-budget horror which is there simply to fill an hour and a half in your life, well, here it is. Enjoy. And then forget. In fact, I think I've now completely forgotten which movie I was talking about to begin with! At least the fish don't have wings... you'll have to check out the sequel for that little nugget of gold.

Sadly these days whenever most people will hear the title of Piranha they'll probably automatically think of the obnoxious and tacky "Piranha 3D", a movie that while I did find it fun in a brainless kind of way, it didn't have an ounce of the good old-fashioned charm and character that this flick had going for it. I mean how could anyone ever forget about the original Piranha? It's a classic and one of the best killer animal movies ever made. It's one of the pictures that really captured my imagination in a fun scary way when I was a kid and I still love it now, it's such an easy charming movie to sit through, and if you absolutely have to label it as such, then it's certainly a B-movie that's done tremendously well. I don't personally think it's all that much of a Jaws ripoff. Some people talk as if that's all it is.. Jaws had one big fish, this has many tiny fish that pose a far greater threat, the thing that's most similar to Jaws that I see is just the underwater shots of the piranha closing in on victims from below. Jaws chillingly killed one child, this movie had the gall to make the first bloodbath of its story an attack on a whole bunch of kids at once, and that took some serious "intestinal fortitude" back in 1978 when kids in movies were considered a lot more sacrosanct than they are today. I love the way the good guys actually fail to reach the summer camp in time to save the children, because it goes against what you'd typically expect to happen, and that was different and interesting to me. I find that there's a great sense of menace to the movie as well as a good comic timing, with the scary moments being more shocking because I was just chuckling at something a minute before, and I can take it perfectly serious as a picture and still have fun with it at the same time. I love the music score which gives it a lot of added atmosphere, to me it sounds very similar to the iconic theme from Carrie and it gives me the creeps. They do a good job of just making the water seem spooky and dangerous. I remember being bothered as a kid by how you never really see the piranha all that much at all, but now I think that it works out much better in that more subtle and shadowy way, with the mutant fish as a mostly unseen threat lurking beneath the darkness of the water, and the noise of them feeding is actually a little scarier than they are! I loved that sound, I don't know what they did to make it but it goes together with the underwater photography and the quick shots of the piranha relentlessly ripping at people to sell the effect of them fantastically. Something else I quite enjoy is that it had good characters that are fun to watch, even just the bit parts. I love the overly strict ridiculous blowhard who happens to be the boss of the summer camp and has no sense of humour and takes his job way too seriously, he's such a funny buffoon and is such an ignorant jerk but he does kind of redeem himself in the end, which is something that happens a few times in this movie.. I like Kevin McCarthy's regretful scientist who originally created the genetically engineered piranha, he's manic and energetic and his death while he clumsily tries to rescue a boy is genuinely sad, and nobody ever believes Kevin McCarthy about impending doom until it's too dang late! Bradford Dillman and Heather Menzies were great together, they were both very likable and had such a fun cute chemistry that really carries the whole movie. She's very spunky and resourceful and was not at all above her 'feminine wiles' to get them out of tight spots, and while she was no airhead she did kind of cause everything that went wrong in the story in one way or another! And Dillman's character at first is just a good-natured honourable drunk who tags along but he becomes more of the hero the audience expects him to be as it goes on. Most of the film is just their race against time to stop the piranha from reaching the sea, which they ultimately fail to do as Barbara Steele reveals as the movie ends in a hilariously wink-wink moment as she huskily says to the news media in her lovely British accent that "There's nothing left to fear..." But of course it's really to you...the viewer! Everything we've seen has just been mere prelude to a much bigger fishy nightmare to come, and now blood's *really* gonna run and the oceans of the world will run red forever!!! As stupidly over the too as it is, I still find the ending to be more strangely eerie than funny. So to me it's a movie that's both funny and scary whenever it's trying to be either, and it really shows how good the animal attack movies of their glorious 70s heydays could be. Still brilliant fun, it's an easy 10 out of 10 bizarre bipedal peeping fish lizard creatures for me! x

Dante's movies are either hit or miss for me. This one was a huge miss. It wasn't that funny or thrilling for me. They were clearly trying to cash in on the Jaws fame by making a spoof, but he fails miserably. Everybody takes everything seriously in this film. I was just completely bored throughout the entire thing. The attacks are dull and lack suspense. There were no interesting characters, even though the actors seemed to be game. Greats like Steele and McCarthy add some much needed class to this movie, but I disliked everything else. If you wanna watch a really fun Piranha movie, watch Piranha 3D (NOT the crappy sequel, Piranha 3DD)4/10

With all the films that are released on video that try to ride the coat tales of other popular entries in film, people forget that early on there really was only one man who did that. That man was Roger Corman, a producer who worked at creating cheap films that entertained viewers no matter what the material. Then there's Joe Dante, a director who hasn't worked with many theatrical released films, but the ones he has made have faithful followings. Dante is another filmmaker that enjoys taking ideas from popular films and turning it on its head. The thing is, Dante at least does it with a non-subtlety attitude and style. Seriously, looking at the poster alone tells you that Dante and Corman were borrowing the concept from Steven Spielberg's Jaws (1975).For the most part, the film is watchable but there are various elements that don't work. One of those elements is John Sayles' writing. It works well at building tension in how the story plays out, but the dialog and back-story to why the piranhas are in a local resort feel flimsy. Turns out, a school of piranhas were genetically enhanced to help win the Vietnam war. So in other words radio activity is the problem. It's understood that this comes from a time where it was prevalent but now it no longer is plausible. Using radioactivity as a plot device for a sea creature is no longer usable. It has been exploited since the early 50s era films. Not many of the actors that take part feel like they are that of something new either.Bradford Dillman as a divorced drunk father of one daughter is possibly the most interesting of the bunch. And this guy was the only one to ask to have his character have more depth. So you can imagine what the rest of the characters are like. Next is Heather Menzies-Urich who plays a missing persons detective, who also looks to find the truth behind the piranha epidemic. She also becomes Dillman's love interest - without little explanation. Okayyyy,...see what I mean on character depth? Some of the dialog is silly to hear at times too. Unfortunately, these things are big parts to the film that weigh it down because they are essential to telling a good story. Thankfully, there are a enough good parts to help make it somewhat enjoyable. For example, Dick Miller has a role. And who doesn't like Dick Miller?For one, the practical effects are quite convincing to say the least. Phil Tippett's ability to make the piranhas themselves, the gore and blood look authentic is important. I mean, even if the cast isn't the most convincing, the plot device should at least. I do question one scene however. There's a scene where stop motion animation is used and it looked great but it never served a purpose. What was the point? Kudos to using the technique but thumbs down for not giving it meaning. Jaime Anderson's cinematography is good specifically for the underwater scenes. Surely that wasn't the easiest thing to do. The editing by Joe Dante and Mark Goldblatt was competently done too. Specifically for keeping the illusion of the Piranhas looking like actual fish and not puppets. Lastly, Pino Donaggio's music was OK. It wasn't great but at least had a theme specifically for the piranhas. That at least is recognizable. It's watchable but not all that exciting at times.It has good practical effects and a borrowed concept from Jaws (1975) that only can be considered flattering. However, its story and majority of its characters aren't all that different from other characters in other films.