Surprisingly incoherent and boring

I'll tell you why so serious

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

Close shines in drama with strong language, adult themes.

Edward Carnby, detective of the paranormal, investigates a mystery with clues leading to "Shadow Island" that brings him face to face with bizarre horrors that prove both psychologically disturbing and lethal, as he discovers that evil demons worshiped by an ancient culture called the Abskani. Alone in the Dark is another horrible looking and also packed with horrible perfomances Uwe Boll flick that has some big names in it who although some of them quite talented couldn't even handle the word 'I am' without screwing it. Definitely an awful flick. (0/10)

So, I thought it was past time I watched a Uwe Boll film, given his reputation. He's meant to be one of the worst directors ever, but do you know what I think? I think he's a genius. No, I mean a complete wizard. I think he was trying to make a bad movie and wanted to create the dumbest, most sadistically awful trash in the history of cinema. Well, he certainly did that. But he must have been aiming for that! No sentient human being could produce something like this. I have encountered young kids with more directing talent. Alone in the Dark is awful in every sense. It can be funny, but not that funny. The acting, the writing, the direction, the plot... I could go on and on. It's a movie I don't really want to think about, since when watching it I felt like it was literally making me dumber. It was a genuinely unnerving experience seeing something like this had made it into cinemas at all. AITD is one of the worst films I've ever seen and to be honest, I don't want to talk about it. I still believe Uwe Boll is some sort of evil genius. As a result, I kind of respect him, since I refuse to believe a human mind, given a sizable crew, a generous budget and beloved source material, would be capable of something like this. I hope I'm right anyway. 1/10

I guess I didn't hate this as much as "House Of The Dead". Then again, that might only be because I was a huge fan of the HOTD games and knew literally nothing about these games. So anyway, this movie features Xenomorphs attacking people. No, really. These things are literally called Xenos or Zenos or whatever, I don't care. The plot features these kids who had worms put in their bodies that would control their minds when they became adults. At least it isn't worse than it sounds. There's one scene where we see a guy having the worm put into his body. If you can do that, why even raise kids in an orphanage? The movie stars Christian Slater and one of the minor characters is played by Jesse Ventura. Figures he would fight someone named Christian. I guess worms controlling people's bodies is right up there with Ventura's conspiracy theories. Glad to see him die. There is a villain who injects himself with monster blood to keep him alive or something. He appears near the end and just dies. His character was completely pointless like pretty much everything else in this movie.There's even a scene where a woman dies and you can actually see her actress lift her head off the ground! I didn't even notice another scene where a woman dies and the shot fired didn't even touch her! It's pretty easy to assume that the CGI is horrible. That's too bad even for video games. We see more awful slow motion shots and bad angles which I got used to since "House Of The Dead". Of course Uwe Boll repeats the same stupid mistakes in his films. Why are there an endless number of awful video game movies? Pray for me, people. Pray for me. 1/2*

January 28, 2005I think this film is going to get crushed because Uwe Boll directed it. He's the guy who adapts videos games into movies. He directed "House of the Dead" back in 2003 and now he has adapted "Alone in the Dark," a video game series set around the spooky and supernatural. "House of the Dead" was not that good and this picture is not that good either but it's not terrible. In short, I didn't mind it and I was entertained but I was left wondering a lot and I should not have been left in that state. I will decide whether to recommend the picture at the end.It's about, Edward Carnby (Christian Slater) who is a detective that specializes in the occult & strange occurrences. Carnby used to work for Bureau 713, a secret government organization that protects the world from paranormal activity and danger. When Edward discovers one of his friends he grew up with in an orphanage has disappeared, he discovers, Professor Lionel Hudgens (Matthew Walker) is planning something big and Carnby must stop him. Together with his ex-girlfriend, Aline Cedrac (Tara Ried) and Commander of Bureau 713, Richard Burke (Stephen Dorff), Carnby must race against time to stop the professor from re-opening a portal and releasing demonic creatures before it's too late.It opens with a cool narrative telling us about a group of mine workers who discovered the remnants of a long lost Native American civilization called, Abkani, in 1967. Shortly after, Abkani vanished from Earth without a trace. As a result, Bureau 713 was established to research and uncover the dark secrets of the Abkani. The director of the bureau, Archaeologist Lionel Hudgens began conducting gruesome experiments on orphaned children and the government shut him down. When the film begins, a team of people is looking for a runaway child. You guessed it, It's Edward Carnby. This opening serves as the core of the story as we learn revelations from it later on.I'm going to get this out of the way right off the bat. Tara Ried can't act. Her character Vicki in "American Pie" was a dumb ditz. She played the same character in "Urban Legend" and she plays the same character in this picture. I'm not being mean, I'm speaking from seeing her experience on screen. Now, I have played the game that this is based on and the character of Aline is smart and can take care of herself. Tara Ried's character cannot. She is always hanging in the background and she is cardboard with the role. Always in trouble and yelling for help. I'm sure Tara and her character will be another big target for this film but this is not about her. Now, what makes this picture interesting is the story. For a supernatural picture, it works and it's entertaining to see it unfold. Uwe Boll didn't do a terrible job with "House of the Dead" and it certainly showed he tried to make a good film. It seems to be the actors he uses are some causes of the problems and I don;t think I'm wrong about that.What's interesting is that Carnby has an interesting backstory to him. I think most of the films story is lifted from the latest game "Alone in the Dark: The New Nightmare." There are a few similarities to the source material: The creatures thrive in darkness and can be harmed by the light or electricity. The creatures in the films are called Xenos. I believe there are some others sources from the earlier games but I'm not sure because I have not played them. So, the character of Carnby is most interesting. He was raised in an orphanage where he lost his memory when he was ten years old. Experiments were conducted on him and the children and because of this he has the ability to sense paranormal activity. He was electrocuted when he was a kid and that serves as a plot twist later on in the film. He finds himself investigating his own past which seems to have connections to Abkani, an ancient Mayan-like Civilization from another dimension who worshiped the demonic creatures that Carnby seeks to destroy.Aline works in the city's museum of history as assistant to Hudgens. She has a vast knowledge of the Abkani. The plot really becomes interesting when a friend Carnby grew up disappears in the middle of the night and Carnby finds that it's all connected. Now, the story might be fine but the action sequences are implausible, to say the least, and a sped up heavy metal soundtrack doesn't help much during an action sequence. The special effects are terrible. The acting is wooden and there are numerous mistakes in the editing. There's a sequence where a female soldier is killed but when the camera moves away, she lifts her head. Again, the actors he hires.The character of Lionel really works with the story. We don't know a whole lot about him. Maybe that's a good thing? He's really sick and twisted in his evil ways and he serves as a major part of the story. What doesn't work is the ending. Yes, there are numerous plot holes throughout and we are left wondering but what really drags the film is the ending. I was left wondering what happened myself. Stephen Dorff is wasted in the film. He reminds me of his police officer appearance in "Feardotcom" and you might as well believe it's the same character; dumb and stupid. We're led to believe there will be a sequel to this but I don't think so. For what's it's worth, it's not a terrible film but it's not good either. On that note, I don't recommend the film because of the numerous faults and the price you have to pay to see it but when it hits DVD, it's worth it to take a look it.