Good movie, but best of all time? Hardly . . .

While it doesn't offer any answers, it both thrills and makes you think.

Easily the biggest piece of Right wing non sense propaganda I ever saw.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

This is now my fourth encounter with a movie involving Italian film-maker Emimmo Salvi – 2 of which proved positive but the remainder were not; consequently, I cannot say that I am looking forward to catch up with a fifth title...which is bound to be the Spaghetti Western, WANTED JOHNNY Texas (1967)! Anyway, the film under review is yet another peplum dealing with mythological Greek gods and must surely rank as one of the weirdest ever made – sometimes breaching a level of awfulness that almost equals the one displayed by Luigi Cozzi's more inventive HERCULES revamps of the 1980s! Rod Flash (a pseudonym for Iloosh Khoshabe!) plays the titular blacksmith (the Roman god of fire) forging weapons for the likes of Achilles in the Olympian foundry who is improbably involved in a divine love triangle with the nymphomaniac Venus (played by Annie Gorassini being, quite evidently, the Roman goddess of love!; her initial tryst with Adonis is summarily ended by a lightning bolt thrown by an angered Jupiter!) and Mars (for being the Roman god of war and impersonated by future "Argoman" Roger Browne, he is pretty ineffectual in combat and has to seek the help of humans to reach his vengeful ambitions!). The ensuing struggle angers the king of gods, Jupiter (the Roman equivalent of the Greek almighty, Zeus) who sends them all to sort out their romantic issues on Earth! Lamely, despite all manner of wild-eyed characters and wild creatures, the conflict is finally resolved by Jupiter's anti-climactic vocal admonishment from the skies after all! For what it is worth, among the other inhabitants on Mount Olympus that put in an incidental appearance here are Pluto (incarnated by Salvi regular Gordon Mitchell and prone as ever to maniacal cackling!) and Mercury (played by character actor Isarco Ravaioli).On the earthly side of the fence, Vulcan is abetted by Bella Cortez (playing his new love interest Aetna and the protagonist of a surprisingly sensual dance routine that for once justifies these normally terminally bland additions to the peplum stew), a pony-riding dwarf (ingenious or what?) and a sleepy-eyed Neptune and his Morlock-like minions! Hindering his progress, so to speak, are a Thracian warlord (who is somehow convinced by Mars to build a tower all the way up to Olympus with the intent of besieging it!) and his awfully silly-looking fanged lizard men!! This unheralded and (mostly unintentionally) enjoyable viewing came by way of a very battered, highly washed-out English-dubbed print available on a "You Tube" channel dedicated to this most maligned of film subgenres.

I swear, for divine beings sometimes these Greek gods act like they just stepped off the set of the Jerry Springer show.Well, they were always a rowdy bunch and in this movie the reason du jour for all the hullabaloo is competition between Vulcan the god of fire and blacksmiths, and Mars, the god of War, for the favors of the goddess of Love (and apparently Floozies), Venus.Venus, as played by Annie Gorassini looks like a model for a 70's toothpaste ad and vamps around like the bimbos on any of the VH1 reality shows. She plays men like an Aeolian harp and wrecks homes as casually as popping the top on a can of soda. There's one scene where an overseer is whipping some slaves and she and Mars look on, giggling and making out. Yeah, the chick's got issues.When Jupiter, King of the Gods, declares he will decide who marries Venus, she and Mars escape to Earth, not only to protect their love, but also to plot a revolt against Jupiter. They encounter a crazy warlord with a grudge against Jupes and convince him to build a siege tower that would reach to the top of Mount Olympus, with which they will overthrow Jupiter.Vulcan in the meantime has been hurled down to Earth from the top of Olympus by Mars' ally, Pluto. He crash lands onto a beach where happen to lounge a gaggle of harem girls. One girl in particular, Etna, takes quite a shine to the disoriented god and you can see right away that they're destined for romance. (What a story they'll have to tell their kids) No sooner does Vulcan regain consciousness than the entire coterie is attacked by a band of genuinely loony looking lizard men known only as The Monsters. What with having crashed to Earth from a mountain peak only minutes earlier, Vulcan is understandably woozy enough to make easy pickings for the lizard men.Also imprisoned by the lizard men are a group of rebels of some sort and among their number is Classic Peplum Sidekick Mark IV, the Wiley Dwarf. His name is Kayo and the prisoners free him so he can get a message to Vulcan's friend Neptune, King of the Seas. Neptune is portrayed as a bit flaky, although he's got a good look going on and he sends a posse of his hardcore Special Forces dudes to wipe out the lizard men in a quick, brutal battle.Then there are some plot contrivances and Vulcan, his Main Squeeze Etna, and their band of rebels take on Venus, Mars, the warlord and their warriors in a Big Final Showdown.It's a great battle scene and features the rebels vs. the warriors, Vulcan vs. Mars and Venus vs. Etna in what is probably the first ever babe on babe bullwhip brouhaha. Yup, chicks with whips.Speaking of that scene, which also features hair pulling and skirt tugging, let me point out Bella Cortez, who plays Etna. WOW! Let me repeat that for emphasis. WOW! She put the "lure" in alluring. Bella is a beautiful Cuban actress who performs the Best Veil Dance Ever. Why she didn't become a huge star is beyond me.Gordon Mitchell doesn't have a lot to do, but he's still good as the villainous Pluto. He could teach Maniacal Cackling at USC film school. He always picks up a movie.Iloosh Khoshabe aka Rod Flash (awesome fake name) plays Vulcan as a bit of a Dudley Do-Right type. His chin is strong and his love is chaste. Beefy yet athletic, he's pretty convincing as a hero.Lacking in a Hercules or any of his Hercu-surrogates, this is another of director Emimmo Salvi non-traditional peplums, which also include Ali Baba and the Seven Saracens and The Seven Tasks of Ali Baba. It's great light, energetic fun. The personalities and looks for all the gods are distinct and unique, which you don't always find in a peplum. If you're a B-movie fan you'll get a big kick out of this movie.

This is one of those movies that is so bad it instantly becomes a classic fun film. This is a movie where so much happens you won't be bored, it just keeps moving onward throwing monsters, gods, and myths in every which way at such a rate that you have to keep watching because you simply can't believe whats been thrown into the stew. Watch the film, preferably on a rainy afternoon when its the perfect time for a movie.

For folks who have no lives and avoid deep thinking, the sweaty Italian beefcake films of the late '50s/early '60s rank right up there with the Japanese "Godzilla" series and Mexican masked-wrestler epics as the ultimate in brainless entertainment. I'm not alone in this conclusion: Studies from Bulgaria in the 1970s provide the proof. They've got the data; let's not argue.If you hanker for bad dubbing, rotten special effects, and ridiculous plot lines, this genre is your meat. Universally, they feature poorly staged action scenes - always a bad sign in action movies - and richly saturated color that jumps off the screen and toys sadistically with human eyeballs."Vulcan, Son of Jupiter" is a better-than-usual entry for one simple reason: There are a lot of half-naked women running around, too. Set in Bronze Age Greece, it details a war among the gods of Olympus over who's gonna snag the tail of Venus. Or Aphrodite - can't remember exactly; she's the Goddess of Love, anyway. There's fighting, infighting, scheming and a very brave midget. Chariots... yelling. Y'know.It stars a guy named Rod Flash. Of course, that's his real name... And I'm Queen Wilhelmina of the Netherlands. Doesn't matter. He's got a bod that could sell a whooole lotta Blueboy subscriptions. In fact, I wonder how these guys manage stay so oily. Was there a pec-lubrication specialist on the set?One bright spot is a beguiling showgirl-style dance by the astoundingly sexy Bella Cortez. Could any other woman so mesmerize with the gemstone jiggling in her navel? Whatever happened to this beautiful Cuban actress? At the end of her dance, the god Mercury shows up and tugs playfully at a jewel on her scanty costume; the quick gesture leaves a strangely potent erotic jolt.Interestingly, most of the over-the-hill bodybuilders in peplum were Americans who hung out at Gold's Gym in Santa Monica. Gordon Scott actually had a brief Hollywood career - as the first Technicolor Tarzan. Steve Reeves was... well... he was in a Ed Wood film in the mid-'50s. Gordon Mitchell, who's in "Vulcan" and was a kind of poor man's Charlton Heston, was the best actor of the lot, with a career mostly in Italy lasting until the early 2000s (He played the catamite-hungry gladiator in Fellini's "Satyricon").