Too many fans seem to be blown away

From my favorite movies..

The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

THE DOLL SQUAD is a low rent action movie by Ted V. Mikels, a director whose product is generally so bad that this is perhaps a highlight of his career. It's been much discussed that this film helped inspire the creation of CHARLIE'S ANGELS and whether this is true or not, it's certainly one of the earlier 'team of women' action vehicles.The plot sees a bunch of statuesque ladies teaming up to fight saboteurs on behalf of America. They have a fine line in natty costumes and also more than a few karate skills that allows them to dispatch bad guys in some stock low rent action scenes. In other scenes they use their feminine wiles to seduce enemies before taking them out. It's all complete nonsense, of course, and yet it plays out with a fast pace and an appealing kitsch style that makes it a little more bearable than the usual genre films.

The Doll Squad pre-dates the hugely successful television series Charlie's Angels (1976 - 1981), and it's intentions are similar. After a catastrophic space shuttle launch, the clandestine group of government agents, must form to conquer this criminal conspiracy. Sabrina Kincaid (Francine York) is called to gather the scattered doll squad, a group of female agents. Practically all American films and television in the 1970's that involved crime were embroiled in conspiracy, from Starsky and Hutch (1975 - 1979), Police Woman (1974 - 1978) to The Amazing Spider-Man (1977 - 1979), and this film seems to have paved the way. It's certainly true that the producer of Charlie's Angels (Aaron Spelling) did go to the premier of The Doll Squad.The films production is obviously incredibly low budget. Ted V. Mikels was previously known for the grindhouse cheapie's The Corpse Grinders (1971) and Blood Orgy of the She-Devils (1972), but this film's production values certainly rise above the limitations, and also look a lot better than the horror films. Where the film really fails is in the pace. It struggles through several clunky dialogue scenes, and often uses a piece of funky, disco-esque soundtrack (which is used far too much throughout the film) seemingly to attempt to give a dull scene a bit of pep - such as what appears to be either a fast walk down a long corridor, or a slow walk in a short one.However, when the action does heighten, and that same piece of music is used appropriately, the film does have its moments of fun. It's always good to see the heavily made-up, statuesque '70's women beating up the weak men, from the women in prison movies, to proto-punk Switchblade Sisters (1975) - and of course their raison-d'etre, seduction. The film also boasts an appearance by Tura Satana, who was electric in Russ Meyer's Faster Pussycat. Kill! Kill! (1965). Whilst the film has it's lagging moments, and tedious dialogue, it doesn't ever really become boring. All the limitations actually function well within the context of the ludicrous scenes, and gives the film humour. A lasting example would be, of course, the technical effects for explosions. Mikels's solution? Superimpose a flare of red over the exploded object, then cutting object out: ridiculous, cheap-as-chips, hilarious!

Perhaps it would take a trained psychotherapist to figure out why I persist in renting out movies by director/producer Ted V. Mikels, after so many repeated disappointments. From bad ("Blood Orgy of the She Devils") to worse ("The Corpse Grinders"), from rock bottom ("The Astro-Zombies") to repugnant ("The Worm Eaters"), the man has let me down time and again. Yet I had to go take a look at his 1973 offering, "The Doll Squad," despite all that, AND despite the fact that I've never been a fan of the overrated '70s TV phenomenon "Charlie's Angels," which this flick supposedly served as inspiration for. Well, the good news is that this Mikels effort may be marginally better than those others; the bad news is that, well, this is still a Mikels film, to which he brings his patented...what's the opposite of "touch of gold"? Touch of crap? The story here concerns an ex-government agent, played by Michael Ansara, who's been blowing up U.S. rockets and is threatening the world with bubonic plague, and the efforts of Doll Squad leader Sabrina (Kincaid, not Duncan) and her kick-ass babes to stop him cold. Though the film's first 15 minutes or so, featuring the gruesome murders of two of the Dolls, are promising, the picture quickly deteriorates into the typical Mikels mishmash of lousy direction, poor editing and awful FX. Though the Dolls are pretty fierce in action, more than willing to shoot their foes in the back or when they're already unconscious, most of that action is confined to murky, hard-to-follow gunplay. Francine York, it must be allowed, is pretty good as the head Doll, and quite a package to look at, as is everyone's favorite pussycat, Tura Satana. A larger budget and a more accomplished filmmaker might have been able to salvage what on paper must have seemed a pretty reasonable entertainment. As it is, if I ever rent out another Ted V. Mikels movie, someone, please, institutionalize me!!!

One of schlock film master Ted Mikels' best bad films. Not as famous or fun as the Astro Zombies, but certainly worth checking out. Mikels is said to have sued TV Mogul Aron Spelling over Doll Squad, claiming Spelling created "Charlie's Angels" based on this film! That gives Spelling way too much credit. Don't know what ever came of the law suit, but I would like to listen to Mikels' legal arguments! Typical Grade Z government actor types program a big secret super computer to choose the ideal squad of secret agents to save the world, and it comes up with 4 fighting bimbos for the job. They use their sex appeal and unconvincing martial art skills to get the bad guy and titilate the audience. Everything in the movie has a very brown-orange shag carpet 1970's look. I'm sure Mikels was the first on his block to get a leisure suit.