Touches You

Good concept, poorly executed.

Excellent adaptation.

Unshakable, witty and deeply felt, the film will be paying emotional dividends for a long, long time.

To quote another poster, "Anyone with a sense of humor for the absurd, I would highly recommend this film." This comment alone is a perfect way to put it simply in one statement. I mean come on! Just look at the title. That alone is a dead give away. And again, Maynard James Keenan and Corey Feldman in the same movie? What more could you ask for!? Aside from some hot chicks running around in bikini's of course.Wait a minute! This movie has them too!! Thank you Jesus for such a phenomenal movie! Oops. I mean thank you Satan. heh heh heh (checking over my shoulders)

Excellent movie. An understanding of the characters (i.e. Jello, Maynard, Dee Dee) sense of humor is needed to enjoy the movie. Do not take the movie at face value and know the objective here is all about reflection. Many people have criticized sized this movie and have claimed that the only people who like this are obsessive fans of Maynard and merely enjoy the movie because of their icon. That is very amusing and couldn't be farther from the truth. This movie will satisfy anyone who can laugh at the world that consumes us on a daily basis. If you enjoy this movie I would strongly recommend checking out a few of the other Bikini Bandits movies!

This movie SOUNDS great. Not in any high minded, intellectual fashion, but just as some great cheese to down with your buddies. It has half naked women, guns, Dee Dee Ramone as the pope, Jello Biafara, Maynard as Satan, time travel, fast cars... it sounds brilliant, right?It is not. This is, without a doubt, the worst film ever made. This is from a man who loved "Jesus Christ - Vampire Hunter". There's no plot, no point, and worst of all, no FUN. The closest thing to a running gag is the joke they pulled on you by getting this thing released. It's clear they had no idea what to do with the film; but they rightly guessed that if they got some cult celebrities together with a bunch of hot women, they could get it released regardless. To fill out the time they throw out a series of unconnected skits, woodenly acted and lacking any conceivable flow. Even the violence/sex this kind of movie falls back on to hide deeper troubles are strictly PG-13 (Baywatch is more graphic than anything here). The (very) few funny moments have nothing to do with the plot at all, but are quick inserts thrown in to pad a movie that had clearly failed even in the eyes of it's director.The director clearly has an amazing talent; he sold this movie to some amazing guest stars, to whoever funded it, to whoever agreed to release it...but he never had a movie to begin with. People show up on screen, do their bit, and move on presumably under the impression they were going to appear in a movie; but in the end it's just a parade of pointless clips, nothing more. Even having seen it, the pitch sounds good (underground rockers, time traveling bikini bandits, guns and cars, who can go wrong?)... but the movie isn't there. A talent for salesmanship makes you a great car dealer, not a great director.In closing, Corey Feldman called this film the worst mistake of his life.Corey. Feldman. Called it the worst mistake of his life.

Well what can I say.. if I was looking for intellectually stimulating movie, I can't say that I would go out and buy a movie by this title. But if I just wanted to have a cheap laugh with some of my favorite musicians, whilst drooling over some scantly clothed big breasted women then the title would be appealing. The movie or rather skits, follow suit. Maynard would have jumped at the chance to play the dark lord Satan, and with his philosophies on the lack of free thinking in our society, this movie was a great chance to take the absolute P!$$ out of mainstream art.(or lack there of.) Funny to say the least, but if you watch it and can do nothing but complain about the content then you need to have a look at yourself and maybe get some help reading the title's of the movies you watch because seriously, who was really expecting an epic here? But for TOOL, Ramones and DK's fans its a great laugh.