Pretty Good

Good movie, but best of all time? Hardly . . .

The biggest problem with this movie is it’s a little better than you think it might be, which somehow makes it worse. As in, it takes itself a bit too seriously, which makes most of the movie feel kind of dull.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

Okay, this isn't the best flick in the world, but Pia Zadora, and the Vegas scenery, in and out, help jazz it up. Zadora, plays Bobbi, a nightclub singer (again, is she acting here?), the girlfriend of a mobster she won't testify against. She's thrown in the clink. A near sexual experience with a tough hottie in a shower, forces her into a plea, as Zadora's not that sort of girl. She's taken under protection by Nevada cops, Savalas, perfect, minus a lollipop, and younger cop, Desi Arnez Jnr-yes "I love Lucy/Here's Lucy", who she develops an attraction for. Arnez Jnr is a kind of an uptight youngie who Zadora loosens up, especially in the motel room. She even plays a couple of the machines down in the lobby, a tradition in Vegas, where if you hold back on ever playing a machine here, you have amazing self control, something our beauty doesn't have, although she is a hot watch. The mob of course are getting restless and paranoid so you know, they're out to put a hit on our hottie, who does try to escape the clutches of her protector, who's so nicey nice, it's becomes slightly irritating. Unlike him, hardened detective Savalas sees right through her. Fake Out is somewhat strangely entertaining, that could of had better detail to story, but we have action, glittering lights, a little sex, and Pia's acting that is a good laugh. Her no acting is like watching Marilyn Chambers. What we do have in a fun performance is Larry Storch as a bumbling mob guy, who makes himself popular, by knocking the wheel of his car, against a machine while it's side up. And the machine rewards this certain player in spades. Not something you see everyday in movie. Love Pia's performed song at the start. Yeah... really loved it?

"Fake Out" or as a DVD release, "Nevada Heat", really is a frustrating film. First, Pia Zadora is her usual cute as a button, perky self, and Telly Savalas is his usual sarcastic self. These two play off each other throughout the movie, but the film really goes nowhere. Sure there is a steamy nude shower scene, and Pia takes a bubble bath, but the simplistic story of a mobster's girlfriend's allegiance or lack thereof comes across more like a series of skits showcasing the Riviera Hotel. One interminable scene at a blackjack table plays like an instructional gambling primer. Attempts at humor mostly fall flat, and the cartoon-like car chases in and around the hotel only further weaken an already weak film. - MERK

Sweet and naive, yet sassy and sexy Las Vegas casino lounge singer Bobbie Warren (the adorably diminutive and dynamic Pia Zadora) gets incarcerated at a brutal women's penitentiary after refusing to testify in court against her mobster boyfriend. The little songbird quickly changes her tune after she's assaulted in the shower by several vicious predatory lesbians. Bobbie is put in the protective custody of cranky senior cop Lt. Thurston (a marvelously sardonic Telly Savalas) and his cute eager beaver younger partner Clint Morgan (an engaging performance by Desi Arnaz Jr.). Meanwhile, two assassins try to bump Bobbie off.Directed with considerable go-for-it flair by Matt ("The Witch Who Came from the Sea") Cimber (who also plays one of the hit-men), with a sprightly, jazzy score by Arthur B. Rubenstein, several thrilling action scenes (a wild stunt involving a car racing through the lobby of a packed casino is the definite exciting highlight), garish, gleaming, lively cinematography by Eddy van der Emden, a snappy pace that rarely lets up, and enthusiastic acting from a bang-up cast, "Fake-Out" really delivers the infectiously silly and entertaining goods. Popping up in nifty supporting parts are Larry Storch as an obnoxiously slick sleazeball talent agent, George "Buck" Flower as an undercover policeman posing as a drunken cowboy gambler, and co-screenwriter John Goff in a funny bit as a gay man who hits on Savalas. Best of all, Pia Zadora positively lights up the screen with her endearingly perky and radiant presence: Whether she's heartily belting out a catchy song on stage during the opening credits or leading the tough lady prison inmates in a hilariously bawdy Jane Fonda-style work-out aerobic exercise session, the divine Ms. Z brings a charm, energy and bubbly good nature to her juicy starring role that's an absolute joy to watch.

Welcome to Remake Hell (and you thought that was just happening today!). Face it, Remake Hell is eternal. It's been going on for decades and hasn't just been happening in the past 10 or so years. This time in 1982's FAKE-OUT, director Matt Cimber reshoots (almost scene for scene) his own prior fiasco from 1975, LADY COCOA (see http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073259 for details about this turgid 1975 mess). This time, Pia Zadora takes on the lead role (originally portrayed by Miss Lola Falana in LADY COCOA), and the results are NO noticeably better. Both films suck, and FAKE-OUT's addition of more noteworthy supporting stars (like Telly Savalas and Desi Arnaz, Jr.) doesn't help matters any. It wasn't a bad plot to begin with, but Cimber doesn't elevate the story or improve the writing since his 1975 outing with the same material. It's a wonder he hasn't remade this film four or five MORE times over with other Vegas headliners like Taylor Dayne or Mariah Carey! That said, this is still great fun for Zadora fans (or hecklers). But if you've seen LADY COCOA you may become easily bored by the grade-Z script, cut-rate production values (the Riviera casino looks pretty shoddy, actually), and the predictability of it all. There is one apparently notorious (and charming) shower scene early on in the film where we learn that Pia's acting skills have a definite ceiling. As she's made to cooperate sexually with some fellow inmates, she turns on this blank stare that we all know (and love) from moments such as these in THE LONELY LADY. It's like a trademark for Pia. Kinda like that strange, Kabuki stare that Faye Dunaway would occasionally give off after a tirade in MOMMIE DEAREST. Strange stuff, but compelling for its utter badness.I have to say I was really disappointed in this Matt Cimber extravaganza. It started out OK but as soon as I figured out this was a remake of an earlier, abysmal project, I found myself checking my watch to see how much longer it would run. That was at about the 15 minute mark. Pia's opening "number" (the only one in the flick) over which the titles are displayed is pretty fun stuff -- in a thoroughly cheezy way, of course. Freeze-frame moments of Pia shaking her booty, complete with added optical effects are perfect. Too bad FAKE-OUT didn't contain more of these types of scenes.