hyped garbage

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one

This is a dark and sometimes deeply uncomfortable drama

Here I was complaining about how Michele Soavi's The Church was lacking in that good old Italian cheese that flavoured the late-era horror films they were producing, so here comes Lamberto Bava to plunge me into a huge tub of molten Fontina. Just get a load of those auditions at the start, that's pure eighties fromage right there.This one (a TV movie) is a kind of horror comedy which involves a lot of those staples required for an Italian horror film of the era. A creepy location, annoying youngsters running around, neon lighting, bad effects, and a low budget.This one's even dafter than usual as it involves four would-be entertainers (including the worst comedian in the world this side of Jimmy Carr, a singer, an actress, and dancer Yvonne Scio – and for those out there with the Kleenex ready for Yvonne, hold onto your mess until you see Rutger Hauer's Armageddon – she's way too young here). They've all passed an audition and are now being invited to a famous director's creepy house, with a view to starring in his new film.Things get strange right away when a boz-eyed hunchback lets them in, complete with a ludicrous, Nick Alexander dubbed voice. There's also a management type with Bela Lugosi's voice and a woman who seems to spend her time laughing at everything. That's nothing compared to the director himself, played by George Hilton (a man who is probably pinching himself to this day judging by the amount of nude scenes he had with Edwige Fenech), who promptly reveals that he's a vampire! George's proposal is this: His human side is bored of being immortal, and he wants to be killed. However, his vampire side doesn't want to die, and will spend the night trying to kill our four heroes. The night will either end with George dead or the four kids dead, and there's only one way to kill George, and it's not the traditional vampire slaying way… For a film that's set in one place and basically involves the youngsters running around, I wasn't bored for a second. George Hilton for instance is an old hand and kind of straddles the thin line between horror and comedy while prancing around in a cheap cape, while the kids actually come across as likable (the annoying comedian actually comes through as the hero in the end). There's a bit of gore (hearts being pulled out of chests etc), and some low rent Plasticine make up effects (like that show Trapdoor!). The ending makes no sense whatsoever and although the younger me wouldn't have liked that, it's now become a requirement for old, brain damaged me.Going back to The Church, I'd say that film was a bit taxing on me due to the amount of characters, actual plot etc. Dinner with A Vampire is the kind of film where your brain goes into a low gear and is all the better for it. Next up: Fulci's Aenigma. God help me! P.S – How come George didn't cast a reflection in life but did on film? How did that chick go from being a vampire to not being a vampire? Was that guy in the end meant to be George? What happened to the henchman guy after he becomes a zombie? Next up: Fulci's Sweet House of Horrors. God's Kelpie!

Dinner with a Vampire (1988) BOMB (out of 4) Italian horror film about some actors who goes to an old castle thinking they're going to be filming a horror movie but instead they meet a vampire who just happens to be hungry. I think Lamberto Bava has taken some unfair heat over the decades due to him not being as great as his father but I think he has managed some good films and a masterpiece in Demons. This here is certainly the worst film I've seen from him, the worst Italian horror film from this period and perhaps the worst vampire film. I really, really, really hated this movie from start to finish and was ready to claw my eyes out by the time we finally get to the ending. The entire film is just downright stupid and corny from start to finish and I'm sure this was meant as a horror/comedy but neither aspects work. The laughs are lame and the horror silly. There's a few minor gore scenes but nothing to get worked up over. The performances are all bad as is the direction for Bava doesn't show any of the style he usually brings to a film.

My only regret is that one cannot grade a movie on IMDb with a 0. "A Cena..." would definitely deserve that! At LEAST.*SPOILER?* The movie starts with a bunch of people entering a crypt to awaken an ancient Vampire. When a guy cuts himself and his blood drips and falls onto the putrid and dried corpse that is supposed to be a bloodsucker, the metamorphosis takes place and the Vampire, in an ANIMATION-like effect (would you believe it!), quickly takes on a more human form,only to reveal that he's wearing a tux and a bow-tie! A BOW-TIE, yes. Red, if my memory serves me right! I tried to check out random scenes by skipping through a bit, but it did not get any better than the opening sequences. That's the point when I turned the movie off, cursing it for having made me hope to see a Vampire movie. This is surely not one,unless you're 5 and could take such stupidity seriously.So, if you like Vampires and don't want to feel revolted or even disgusted,learn from my mistake and don't even try to see this garbage!

The great master of horror movies from Europe, Lamberto Bava, really gets it going with this true-to-the-tone vampire NEW classic. The movie delivers it in great style with one of the most sexy vamps of all times, played by the beautiful Isabel Russinova, and classic vampire movies clichés, like the castle(a beautiful moorish/mediterranean one), the hunchback-like butler, the Christopher Lee alike main vampire. It sure ain't a movie that gets you scared, but if you're looking for fun and a Castlevania-like plot, this is the movie for you !