Simply Perfect

Highly Overrated But Still Good

Good concept, poorly executed.

The performances transcend the film's tropes, grounding it in characters that feel more complete than this subgenre often produces.

Odd venture from David DeCoteau under the Full Moon (and then Torchlight banner). DeCoteau pretty much avoids the homo-erotic moments from virtually all his other films, the men are camp but generally very keen on ladies and every couple of minutes we are privy to another 'epic' scene of camera-centric sexual adventure. There is a plot about the 3 alien women coming to a random USA beach and a mad man on the island who wants to have them in his own money making theme park kind of attraction but generally the story is poor and the sex though nicely filmed and set to a funky score soon becomes tedious. Former porn star Sara Bellomo is the prettiest of the girls and actually a convincing performer in the non-sexual scenes. This was one of the first remotely erotic films I ever saw (on holiday no less) and because of this it holds a special place in my, ummm, heart. However if there is no 'emotional' tie it sadly, really is not very good.

Basically, this has the same plot as the original. The girls land some place where they aren't wanted except by the guys who sleep with them and they fight for their right to have sex wherever they want. This movie has the advantage of no famous relatives and the disadvantage of no Linnea Quigley. What makes better it than the original is the sex, the original made the sex look sweet, this one does not. Blazing Sarah Bellomo is still the best looking of the girls and the only original cast member who returns. Isn't that a lofty distinction, she was in Beach Babes and Beach Babes 2. Anyway, the highlights are when the girls have sex with their guys next to the other girls while the girls hold hands and when Sarah has her crevice inspected by a tongue.P.S. How about Beach Babes Beyond Babylon?

Hey, guys! You lookin' for a movie to watch while the women are crying over "The English Patient" in the rec room? Well, here's a rent for your own personal "you" time."Beach Babes 2: Cave Girl Island" won't have to worry about being cluttered with Oscars or the Palm D'Or. No one in this movie will have to worry about tuxedo rental for those long, boring "Betterment of Motion Pictures" dinners, nor will this film be mentioned in the same breath with words such as perfection, cerebral, Steven Spielberg or the phrase "cuddle-time".Seems three extra-terrestrial babes crash their spaceship on a planet where lizards masquerade as dinosaurs, bikini-clad women dance around, hunky guys in loin-cloths drool and paw and some maniacal twerp named James T. Renford II (Rose) officiates over the whole thing. Oh, did I mention the sex scenes?The girls are certainly worth looking at over and over and OVER AND OVER again...sorry, where was I? Oh yes, especially one in particular named Xena (pre-Lucy Lawless? Hmmm....) who is played by one Sarah Bellomo, whom many of you guys (who will admit it, anyway) will also recognize as Roxanne Blaze, star of a couple of racy XXX flicks. At least she has no issues about nudity, eh? And when the girls growl happily, "we do EVERYTHING together", what more could you want in a film - I ask you, WHAT??!Otherwise, the FX are as cheesy as it gets, the plot is no more sophisticated than your average high school locker room, the dialogue makes you yearn for the silent film days and if there were ever another actor more silly/annoying than Guy Payne is in here, they must still be studying the Strasberg method at Cambridge.So, what is this film, other than sex, nudity, titillation and more sex? Nothing. Get it at once.Six stars, for obvious reasons. Anyone for "Beach Babes 3"? Anyone?

You can't ask for a better sweat factory than this chewy delight from naughtyland. An awesome sex scene every 10 minutes that lasts exactly 4, heck, you can practically set your watch by it. You can't ask for a better movie on Cinemax at 3:15am.As I stood naked in the darkness of my cold rec room watching this suger-coated circus at 3:45 in the morning, I cried at the power and boldness that this ripe fruity gem poured out on me. The glow shined through the 21 inch screen and lit up the room and my naked body, illuminating every shadow that it casted off of the objects that accompanied me and grew stronger with every frame of sparkling radiance. Every now and then I think back to my time of watching this salty pebble and wonder if it was all a dream, or maybe a mere fantasy that took over and made me Brock Landers for 82 minutes of fluffy floating. -***1/2 stars