If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

I was able to watch "The Watermelon" from start to finish, and that puts it head and shoulders above most of the no-budget films I've seen. This was made possible by a strong lineup of actors; Will Beinbrink's lethargic Achilles was well-complemented by Elyse Ashton's Ex-Wife/Antigone; her delivery was so spirited and over-the-top, that it took two roles to contain it all. Kiersten Morgan was competent as Persephone, but she seemed miscast; she just didn't have that worn, weary look of someone who's had a rough life-- someone whose mind and body have been through the wringer. For me, the standout supporter was Julia Aks. She was the perfect fit for the role of the nutty Artist-- I found her so convincing, that for a few moments, I was convinced that I was watching a real person, rather than a fictional character played by an actor. My complaint with this movie lies with the direction and editing. At certain points, the movie seemed to slow down so much, that I was fighting to keep my thumb away from the fast forward button. Also, the frequent changes among waking/flashback/dream/hallucination states were hard to distinguish, and thus made the story harder to follow. Shortening (or possibly omitting) a handful of select scenes would have made this film much more watchable. Despite this, though, I can say with few reservations that I had a good time watching "The Watermelon".

The reason I'm writing this, my first, review on IMDb is to spare other viewers the pain of trying to watch The Watermellon. In fact, I found the other reviews posted here amazing in that they thought that this movie had some redeeming qualities. My family and I, which includes adult open-minded people, tried very hard to watch the entire movie - but just couldn't! This movie has absolutely the worst plot, acting, make-up, and filming of any movie that I've ever seen. When movies have excessive narration, as this one does, there is usually something wrong with the plot. From the start, one has to endure the narrator telling you what you are supposed to be seeing. The scene in which the homeless young woman drops here towel exposing full frontal nudity is absolutely unnecessary and has nothing to do with the "plot". The acting is worse than any high school play. The make-up, in particular the scene of the homeless young woman, looks more like amateurs on Halloween. Before and during her shower, her dirty/scruffy appearance looks like someone has carelessly smudged charcoal all over her. In short, as someone who loves great movies, and usually enjoys quirky movies, I can promise you that this is neither.

Alright! Finally watched The Watermelon. Held on to it until a friend could watch with me. We laughed at the funny stuff , and really got into it. It is a really fine movie. The Watermelon theme worked well as plot device, but was not overdone. The acting was great.Kiersten Morgan and Elyse Ashton were fantastic! Elyse especially shines here. Steve Shields did a fair imitation of Jack Black as Patroclus. Hemmingson's dialogue was real, never strained.Really enjoyed watching it; would recommend it to anyone. Funny and quirky; I was a little bit reminded of Kill Bill and There's Something About Mary. My friend is a big Hitchcock fan and she thought she saw some of his ideas at play. Very well done.

I love this movie. It's a very sweet tale of a guy who spends too much time getting stoned with his reprobate buddy until the day when whatever metaphysical forces exist in the universe decide that he needs to get on with it. Achilles (Will Beinbrink) is a good-looking guy with a minor trust fund and a somewhat sullen demeanor. One day, an old man named Homer (Mike Ivy) shows up with a travel trailer painted like a watermelon. Achilles tries to sell it, but his ghostly mother (Willow Hale) intervenes. In the days that follow, all sorts of girls show up wanting to know more about the trailer. One of them, an artist (Julia Rose Aks), in one of my favorite sequences, tries to force her way into the trailer to live, but Achilles has her arrested. Afterwards, he remains sullen, uncomfortable in his own skin and he cannot sleep at night. Then, he's given a second chance - he finds Persephone (Kirsten Morgan), a dirty, stinky runaway,sleeping in his trailer and this time, he invites her in and feeds her breakfast. She's the narrator we've heard since the beginning of the film and from there the story of trailer treachery, absentee fathers, faithless friends and redeemed ex-wives unfolds.The acting is uniformly superb. Elyse Ashton does two roles in the film and I didn't note her dual performance until the credits. Will Beinbrink and Kiersten Morgan are both wonderful leads. The film it reminds me of the most is Hitchcock's Family Plot. The story is similar mix of metaphysics and serendipity, with the same kind of well-thought out character performances pulled off by actors up to the task. I love the costumes as well.Highly recommended.