Simply Perfect

Sick Product of a Sick System

Good story, Not enough for a whole film

One of the most extraordinary films you will see this year. Take that as you want.

The "Our Gang" teacher ended the school year by throwing a picnic for the school children and bursting into tears when they schemed against her. No mamby pamby female Sally Eilers. She ends the school year by giving away the dozens of apples left for her, not enough time to make a pie, 'cause she's got a boat to catch. You see, Eilers needs to get away from her wimpy boyfriend (Grady Sutton) and find life and adventure abroad, with no questions of how a grade school teacher can afford such an excursion. On her first night, she dines with the sophisticated Thurston Hall and Marjorie Gateson, unaware that they are being watched for smuggling stolen money. Somehow Eilers ends up with the loot, and private detectives James Dunn and David Niven romance her to find out what she knows.Amusing from start to finish, this screwball comedy with a touch of criminal intrigue is an absolute delight. If the pairing of Eilers and Sutton isn't bizarre enough, there's Hall and Gateson, as well refined as "Gilligan's Island" Thurston and Lovey Howell, yet delightfully crooked. Warren Hymer is amusing as their right hand thug who delights in taking baths in other passenger's staterooms. Franklin Pangborn, as the anti-alcohol bartender, is very funny in his two scenes, making a bunch of large seltzer water mixes in large gold fish type glasses for the hungover passengers. But as soon as Mischa Auer appears, the film is immediately stolen with his pop eyed, fractured English line delivery. This is a low budget B delight that is unique enough in its way to warrant discovery.

Predictable schoolteacher Sally Eilers is engaged to boring Grady Sutton, but before they settle down, she seeks out an adventure. Taking her life savings along with her, she takes a summer cruise, but finds herself quickly involved in much more than a simple love triangle. There are thieves and detectives everywhere; whom can she trust?This obscure old movie is pretty cute, if you can follow the story. Even though it's just a little cruise ship romance, you'll have to keep on your toes to remember who are the good and bad guys. But maybe that's the point; Sally doesn't have all the information either! James Dunn and David Niven fight over the girl, and you'll see familiar faces of Franklin Pangborn, Thurston Hall, and Mischa Auer alongside them. There's a hilarious scene in which James Dunn walks in on Sally and David Niven kissing. He punches Niven out of the way. "The next man that tries to kiss you gets the same thing!" he declares before kissing Sally himself. She breaks away from him and immediately slaps him. Hilarious timing, and a great example of the perfectly timed banter the three of them share throughout the film.

Plucky teacher seizes the moment and sails to Europe. Hilarity ensues. Okay, not the most original movie idea. But our gal drew her life savings out of the bank, left her boring fiancé behind, and went out to mingle with the rich and, as it turned out, criminal, on board ship and in Monte Carlo. She had to figure out the good guys from the bad, and face down a gang and her erstwhile fiancé while dealing with stolen money, the French police, and a detective who was in love with her. The last scene left me wondering out loud, "So, what about the money?" Considering the fact that it was a huge sum, over one and a half million today, a viewer might want to see that part resolved. Can a US detective just carry that amount of money through customs? And we never did find out how much was won at roulette or if she got that wad back. But hey, who cares about mere money when love is in the air, non? (If they marry they will have to live on his salary because in the Great Depression women who were teachers lost their poorly paid jobs if they got married. On the other hand, with WWII looming, there will be a lot of lucrative war plant jobs which will help supplement their income when he is drafted, probably with a couple of children in their family by then. Looking on the bright side.)