Wonderful Movie

How sad is this?

Although it has its amusing moments, in eneral the plot does not convince.

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

Of the films of Bill Rebane, a clearly Z-grade director, this one has the most sway with me. First off, the concept is drawn directly from the classic flick House on Haunted Hill. Three millionaires bring a host of contestants to a resort to compete in "The Game", where their fears will be played against them and the last one standing will emerge with a cool mil. Story seems simple enough, right?And that's where it gets complicated. The plot is extremely convoluted. Other than the three millionaires thing and a series of random scares, a lot of half-cocked theories get thrown around, some people may or may not have died, or just left out of boredom, and even inexplicably return... nobody is who they seems and some people reveal sinister intentions, but then again there are no plot points that really tell you whether these crazy twists are tied to the main story, or part of a secondary plot tied in with the main one. Even the narrator eventually admits to being bamboozled.Now all that probably makes you say, "Well, I would hate this movie." Yes, perhaps from a traditional plot-driven perspective; but take a minute to consider this film in a different light.From a strictly visual/aesthetic standpoint, this movie does have something to offer. It reminds me of my youth in the suburbs, where the carnival would come to town once a year. Like its obvious forerunner, House on Haunted Hill, The Game has a major connection to the carnival dark ride. If you ever went to a carnival you would remember one of these, where you took a rickety cart through a truck trailer full of plastic spooks and people in crappy ghost costumes. But when that ghost jumped out at you, it wasn't digital, it was in the real world. The thrill of surprise was there, and until you know what's grabbing you, all scares are equal. That ghost might be a carnival employee, or it might be your Uncle John's creepy friend from the shop you were scared of, overalls around his ankles, ready to bugger you. The smell of Old Spice and denim may have scarred you for life at that sad moment in 1987. I'm sorry, I have revealed too much.But, despite glaring flaws, The Game is redeeming in its visual/film sleaze factor. Gritty grimy film stock, garish coloration, bad film music that I am pretty sure is some of the same as in Bloodsucking Freaks (high camp piano that sounds like a villain from a western), arguably the best "white folks dancing" scene in history(!), and great 70s/80s cusp bad haircuts. The acting is porno-caliber, and I kept wondering whether this was going to turn into a porno at some point, especially given my previous experience with such wacko 70's fare as Sex Seance and Horror Whore (AKA Hard Gore). There's an eye candy factor to the girls. Miss Shelley is cute. Her dingbat antics are hammy yet endearing; a big part of the flick's personality. Cindy is definitely a hottie. I would gladly have stood in a line to audition for the role of the puking hand puppet that came up through her mattress. I found myself wondering if they ever were in anything else, but I'll leave it to my fellow net-nerds to figure that out.That said, it's not even C-grade acting, absolute crap for traditional production, but fun for a party flick for the crew to cackle about and awesome as stock footage or to make people wonder, WTF did that come from? What's 80 minutes of your life? Grab a nice beer and decide for yourself.

In this low budget horror feature three bored millionaires decide to invite some young people for a scare feast. The last one who flees the resort they're all staying at will win one million dollars. Or so these three promise.The usual gamut of common fears run through this film, but in the end the kids so a bit of resiliency. If you want to know what that means you'll have to sit through this schlock feature which was shot on small change at a Wisconsin lake resort.I suppose we're lucky in one respect, one or all of those millionaires might decide they're bored and want to run for public office. Or get a television show to feed the ego. Or think they can produce a movie and we'll get one like The Game.

For a good half hour or so, I remember myself thinking: "Hey, this could very well be Bill Rebane's best achievement ever!". The opening sequences are atmospheric, there immediately are some scary moments to enjoy and our director even refers to his own notorious stinker "The Giant Spider Invasion" in a playful way. The concept is shamelessly stolen from William Castle's "House on Haunted Hill", with three old and extremely bored millionaires luring nine losers to an isolated mansion to win $1,000,000 in an elimination game. Naturally, the participants start vanishing quickly and one by one, and it takes the remaining greedy boneheads too much time before they realize either the old folks are sadists...or there's another murderer amongst them. The film begins & ends with an odd narrator telling a lot of senseless stuff that isn't relevant or even interesting to the plot, but there's some nice T&A to admire in the first ten minutes and that dumb bimbo (Shelly, I believe she's called) is really hilarious to observe. After the first half hour, naturally the inevitable happens and "The Cold" turns into a textbook Rebane-production with retarded plot twists, the dumbest dialogs ever and a total lack of excitement. There wasn't any budget for bloody murder sequences but our multi-talented director (?) tries to compensate this with endless footage of disco dancing girls and an amateur rock band. The film also has four or even five different climaxes and none of them are a slight bit satisfying. Maybe it was an inspiration for LOTR: Return of the King? Avoid this film, you'll live longer and happier.

It's possible you've seen this movie and didn't even know it!! How exciting is that!? Mill Creek Entertainment released a 50 movie pack last year (2005) Called Chilling Classics that includes this very movie in the collection. Only it's not titled The Game. No sir. It's titled The Cold Why did they change it? I am thinking maybe the were afraid of getting sued by Hasbro or some other game manufacturer. Either that or the print they had didn't have the title so they made something up.Anyways, I liked the flick. People meet in a mansion to face their fears, and if they survive they get $1,000,000. It was better than some and not as good as others, but it did have a few creepy scenes. Like the guy right at the beginning. If I was him I'd be like. "EXCUSE ME! WAITER. There's a spider in my soup. There's plenty of chicks in this movie that remind me of 70's porn stars. That is, they aren't very good looking, and they aren't afraid to wear a buttload of make-up. Also one of them has a Wisconsin accent, so that always a turn-on. Eh? The movie tries to be sort of a horror version of The Sting I guess, because the film makers want you to wonder what is going on right up until the end....Either that or the movie is just so crapily made i didn't know what what was going on until the end. In any case I give it a 5 out of 10... mainly for Wisconsin accent lady.