The Worst Film Ever

A Masterpiece!

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

It is a whirlwind of delight --- attractive actors, stunning couture, spectacular sets and outrageous parties.

To begin with, I understand that I am not sitting down to watch great cinema, such as 'Citizen Kane'. On the other hand, I am quite struck by the silliness of all of the beach movies, and you can throw this into the mix, along with all of those incredibly inane Elvis movies.On the plus side, you have the hopelessly cute Deborah Walley, the very hot Yvonne 'Batgirl' Craig. Also an asset is seeing Lesley Gore and the Godfather of Soul, James Brown. Although, I must confess, it's a bit unsettling having James Brown break into your ski home around all of those nice white boys and girls. At least the crackers seem to enjoy James' soul music.On the negative side, we are treated to Frankie Avalon and Dwayne Hickman in drag. And, like most teenage comedies of its time, it's not funny.I suppose if you were raised in sunny California, this might elicit some 'memories'. But all of these teenage romps, along with just about any Elvis movie you can name, has no basis in reality for most people.Even the Beatles went Hollywood, with the preposterous 'Help!' 'Help!' of course features a wonderful Lennon-McCartney movie score, but the preposterous plot is as silly as Elvis playing a race car driver. It doesn't 'help' that the Fab Four's first film proved that you could make a quality, amusing film about pop music stars without insulting the viewers' intelligence.The only true joy to be derived from most of the teenage movies of this period are the musical acts that are featured in so many of them. It would have been nice to have cut Ms. Walley's and Mr. Avalon's music segues and include more James Brown and Lesley Gore.I like a lot of bad movies. Some of them are really enjoyable. 'Ski Party' is not.

The "Beach Party" series taking one of its last gasps: Frankie Avalon and sniggering Dwayne Hickman hit the ski slopes and get stuck doing Tony Curtis & Jack Lemmon routines from "Some Like It Hot", and the comparison isn't favorable. Avalon is actually game, but Hickman has no screen presence and the comic hijinks are mostly juvenile. The script isn't as clever as the ones for the "Beach" flicks, and everyone just seems piqued. Avalon's main squeeze is no longer Annette Funicello, who has an unbilled cameo as a college professor (her two brief scenes are beauties). James Brown and Lesley Gore are both terrific in musical support, Deborah Walley and Yvonne Craig are pretty ski-bunnies, but this fractured gang is obviously a lackluster substitute. A.I.P. continued the following year not with "Cruise Party"--as advertised--but "Ghost In The Invisible Bikini". *1/2 from ****

Todd Armstrong and his buddy Craig Gamble (Frankie Avalon & Dwayne Hickman) aren't having any luck whatsoever with their lady friends Linda & Barbara (Deborah Walley & Yvonne Craig). When they learn the ladies are going to be going on a ski trip, our two pathetic heroes decide to follow in fear of permanently losing their gals should they not. Despite their inability to ski, Todd and Craig head off on and find Lesley Gore singing on the bus trip. They finally arrive at the lodge and still find themselves having no luck with Linda & Barbara. Finally the two decide to dress up as women (Jane and Nora) in order to learn how to ski from a sexy Swedish ski instructor but also inadvertently end up getting to learn much more about Linda & Barbara, and other women, than they ever knew or understood before. James Brown and the Fabulous Flames also show up at the lodge and perform "I Feel Good". This Beach Party comedy movie isn't quite what one expects given enough experience with the previous films (for one thing neither the Eric Von Zipper nor Bonehead appear in this one) but it's nevertheless mindless and innocent fun. Its plot owes more than a little to SOME LIKE IT HOT but this does have its fun moments..my favorites included: the public service announcement hiding Linda's explanation to Nora the secret that should be known only to women. the character of Freddy, one of the greatest Beach Party villains ever, who falls in love with Nora What happens to Todd, who despite a broken leg, after journeying a long distance in the snow to be with the Swedish ski instructor Nita...

The only difference between the usual AIP beach movie fluff and this film is that it's colder and they've put on dry clothes. Other than that, it's Frankie, Debbie, Dwayne, and a pre-"Batgirl" Yvonne Craig up to the usual shenanigans. The only plus here is rare film appearances by James Brown, doing the classic "I Feel Good," and Leslie Gore, with what proved to be one of her last big hits, the Marvin Hamlisch composition "Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows." It's for this last reason alone, I think, that this movie used to be frequently aired on AMC's "American Pop" series, often in letterbox to show off the Squaw Valley scenery. Incidentally, at the end of the movie, there's an invitation to watch for the whole crew again in "Cruise Party." As far as I can determine, that film was never made, probably because they finally figured out that, in the wake of the so-called "British Invasion," the beach blanket bimbo genre had finally run its course.