A waste of 90 minutes of my life

I really wanted to like this movie. I feel terribly cynical trashing it, and that's why I'm giving it a middling 5. Actually, I'm giving it a 5 because there were some superb performances.

Unshakable, witty and deeply felt, the film will be paying emotional dividends for a long, long time.

Like the great film, it's made with a great deal of visible affection both in front of and behind the camera.

I'm a big fan of bad movies, but this one isn't enjoyable at all. There's a secret government research lab (the basement of an abandoned house), and some scientist is making a monster. Of course it kills him, and some people are sent from Washington to investigate. Much of the movie is spent with these three idiots prattling about how bad they need to go to the bathroom, how they can't change a flat tire, etc. Some teenagers also wander into the abandoned house, and eventually the monster kills one of them. There are also some stupid cops who spend a lot of time sitting in their car and talking like idiots. That's basically two-thirds of the movie - government idiots arguing in a car, idiot cops being buffoons in a car, and teenagers yakking about teenage stuff in a dark house.In the end, the government people finally arrive and there's the incredibly crappy conclusion. Everything about this is bad, mostly the dialog, but the acting and camera-work take a close second. The whole film looks blue for some reason, it's so dark you can't see what's going on. Not that you really care.Overall, this movie has absolutely none of the fun or amusement that low budget movies can sometimes provide. Avoid it at all costs, it's almost impossible to sit through.

To say Carnivore is a horror creature-feature is akin to saying "the Corvette is made by Hot Wheels." The statement holds truth in an abstract childish manner not unlike the official statements uttered by politicians. You know, statements that technically are correct, that intentionally carry a misleading implication. Hot Wheels does technically make a Corvette, and I guess Carnivore is technically a horror creature-feature.But don't hold your breath.Enter the world of K-mart blue light special cinema, and for once that's not entirely a figure of speech. Joseph Kurtz and Kenneth Mader literally shot a high percentage of the film with a cheap blue light dimmed down in an effort to create atmosphere and hide the limited production values. Problem? The characters explore this dinky little house with dinky little flashlights that give off a distracting white and orange glow. How distracting? The color contrasts so sharply with the blue world in which the characters live that the roaming white/orange spot becomes the focal point through entire dialogue scenes. I'm sorry -- that's not a problem. I forgot. The dialogue is inconsequential, and following the bouncing white spot has more intrigue than the Carnivore, itself.I also liked the fog that filled the house for no rhyme or reason other than yet another attempt to hide the limited production value of the spooky old house. It's funny how the dim blue lighting, the fog, and the obscure camera angles severely backfire and actually draw attention to the micro-budget. It's like watching 7 foot tall 800lb man trying to evade the police by hiding behind a barstool -- he would be better off just sitting on the barstool acting casual.Still on the technical level, Joseph Kurtz and Kenneth Mader actually manage a poor man's version of the "poor man's process." Where they shoot a car scene in, say, someone's garage and have technicians out of frame moving the car and passing the lights across the windshield to simulate motion when the vehicle never goes anywhere. In Carnivore's car scenes, notice the heavy fog outside the windows (hiding the technicians and the walls of the garage.) And observe how that mysteriously vanishes when the characters step outside the vehicle. Also watch the car occasionally not move at all, and let's not forget the static lighting on the actor's faces. Then decide for yourself if the vehicle looks like it's on the road in motion. I don't mean to nitpick, but poor man's process is the oldest trick in the book … how do you screw that up? I've commented heavily upon the technical merits of Carnivore (or lack thereof) primarily due to the noticeable absence of enthusiasm on the scripting and acting levels. Take for example the opening scene where "Connie" the Carnivore startles a scientist, and makes him inject the contents of a hyperdermic needle directly into his own heart. "Oh Connie. Look what you've done." spoken as though he spilled kool-aid on himself with the intensity of a Brady Bunch reject. I would imagine a needle piercing one's heart would prove quite painful and call for panic as hearts do not tend to react well to sudden injections of substances intended for monsters. Maybe it would call for raising of one's voice, perhaps a scream, at the very least a note of concern? I mean, people who spill hot coffee in their lap react with more concern than this guy.If a cast's performance ever had the subtext of, "Get through this. Get my money, and go home" this is that movie.So, now the deadly deadly Carnivore is on the loose in an abandoned house, and the government sends in another scientist with her two body-guards who stand around doing an uncanny Blues Brothers impression (complete with sunglasses and the suit … all they're missing is the hat and the "We're on a mission from God" line.) And, of course, a film with a spooky old house that doubles as the secret government facility (featuring duct-tape locks, no less) also needs a group of horny teens. Not just any horny sex-crazed teens. No, naughty sex-crazed teens who think creepy places would serve as fine destinations for a date (thank you, Friday the 13th ... bastards.) Didn't creepy places and dares stop being "cool" like, I dunno, around 5th grade? Will the scientist and her Blues Brothers body guards make it to the house in time to save the adults posing as teenagers? And more importantly: who cares? The film isn't even trying on a writing/acting level, making the question of who dies a rather moot point. "Who gets to go home first and wash their hands of this film?" I've said it in dozens of reviews, and I'll say it again -- suspense demands sympathetic characters. Otherwise, the Carnivore might as well crumple up a sheet of paper and toss it in the wastebasket which incidentally would be the sole image I would use to describe Carnivore were this a video-review.

A government experiment goes horribly wrong when their animal test subject escapes and goes on a killing rampage within the house it was stored in. It just so happens that a group of teenagers show up in the house with beer and sex on the mind. The beast decides to eat them one by one...until there is nothing left.I saw this title in the bin for five dollars, normally if I were to get a crappy flick for five dollars I wouldn't care. Although, here we have Carnivore, and I think I should not only get my five dollars back, but a dollar for every god for shaken minute that I had to sit through this piece of garbage. Having the 85 dollars won't make me any happier, or even make me forget Carnivore...but it's the least the makers of this film could do.Some titles that have made me want to put a bullet through my head include: Rollerball, Envy, Belly, Introducing Janet, Son of Mask, SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2 and anything from Uwe Boll. But I would gladly watch those films over this any day. I know there are those of you out there that can't believe this, won't believe this, but it's true. This film is that bad and it warrants the TURD AWARD, for WORST FILM EVER!!!!The audio is so horribly bad, it fades in and out throughout the entire running time. I had the volume up full and still had a hard time hearing things. This accompanied by the total darkness the film is covered in makes this a treat for the eyes and the ears. I know that there are films with low budgets, but this is lower then student film quality. There are many crappy B horror films out there that I don't like all too much, Basketcase being a prime example, but I respect it on some level. I can't bring myself to like anything in this film. The one and only part in this film, other then the useless nudity that accompanies these horny filmmakers, is one death scene. It was horrible, but horrible is a step up from what this movie offers.Should I even mention the acting? It is obvious to anyone that in a film like Carnivore you'll be served some laughable people on the screen. Alas, Carnivore manages to give us something completely horrendous then you wish to watch a film with Carrot Top and Paulie Shore as a comedic duo. That's right I went there. The script, if there was ever one, is inane. A secret government organization is in the basement of a house, and the entire government experiment consists of one or two scientists. I can't remember how many there were and I don't want to. Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that the Carnivore, which is basically a fur ball with legs, drinks beer. At least it didn't end up having sex with anything....poor Basketcase. Finally, Carnivore makes a film like Campfire Tales look like The Godfather. Everything you can possibly think of is wrong with this film. Did they even try? Well it doesn't appear so here and please god, if anyone has the unfortunate task of watching this film, let them die quickly.

This movie was lame. I rented it because the picture on the cover looked cool. Don't fall for it. I have a feeling that they spent more money on the cover art than on the actual film. My tv was turned up as loud as it would go and I still couldn't understand most of what the actors said. Somehow, I don't think I missed much. They should have sent their film straight to MSTK3.