Touches You

This is a must-see and one of the best documentaries - and films - of this year.

The biggest problem with this movie is it’s a little better than you think it might be, which somehow makes it worse. As in, it takes itself a bit too seriously, which makes most of the movie feel kind of dull.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

I remember watching this movie recently. I had avoided watching this movie for a long time due to negative reviews but I finally caved in and saw it. As I was watching it, I found myself laughing as the movie went along. Phat Beach doesn't take itself serious so why should you? Phat Beach is a coming of age story about a plump kid named Benny(Jermaine Hopkins) who is unsatisfied with his summer and reluctantly joins his boisterous friend Durrel on a trip to the beach. Benny borrows his father's car for the trip and the rest of the movie deals with their misadventures at the beach.Jermaine Hopkins is immensely likable as Benny. He comes of misguided at times but has a heart. Bryan Hooks is hilarious as the mischievous Durell. Granted that there are times when I didn't laugh but I laughed at 85% of this movie. That's way more then I ever laughed at any of the so-called comedies that are out these days(including anything by Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg). I find these critics amusing. All this talk about quality films while they're religiously watching Quentin Tarantino's(overrated one-trick pony hack)crappy overrated films. Pulleeze! At any rate Phat Beach is an underrated funny treat for people who don't pretend to be high-brow movie critics and can enjoy a movie for what it is. If you can do that you might like this one.

This is the epic tale of a overweight young man and his player buddy Darnell's trip to the beach, the Phat Beach! The fat boy steals his father's Benz and off they go, with visions of fat booties in their heads. Once they get there, Darnell is getting mo' booty than a bike seat and the fat man (whose name I can't remember, else I'd use it, I'm not trying to offend the overweight here) keeps getting rejected. He sees his dream girl and chases her as best as he can, but she is cruel to him. The film then begins to get pretty depressing with the fat man wandering around alone while Darnell keeps getting them ladies. There is something I like about this movie, and I honestly don't know what it is. Nothing really happens in it, it isn't very funny, there is little to no nudity, Coolio is in it for about three seconds, but I am always drawn back to it. About once a year I get a craving for Phat Beach. It takes all kinds, I guess. In Phat Beach related news: I gave this DVD to a friend for his birthday. His house was broken into on my birthday and a bunch of stuff was stolen, including this DVD. Bizarre.

Phat Beach is by far one of the best bad movies of all time. OK, the plot was bad and most of the writing. However, I thought Durrel and Mikey Z were hilarious. Most of the people that have commented on this movie said that they thought Benny was the best character but I disagree. Benny is an idiot. Who thinks they are getting free dances by a girl in a bikini in a strip club? I mean really. Durrel is by far the best character and Mikey Z makes a great nemesis. The funniest parts of the movie are when Durrel and Mikey Z meet and the interactions that occur later in the movie. I am really amazed that no one else commented on how hilarious Mikey Z and Durrel were together. Overall, a great movie to watch if nothing else is on TV and your looking for a few hard laughs. I wish they made a sequel.

Is nothing else on TV? Are you really bored? Well, then watch Phat Beach. However, don't rent it and definitely DO NOT buy it. That would be a big mistake.I watched this on TV and found myself laughing at certain points. I did not laugh long and I did not laugh hard. However, there were subtle jokes and comments I laughed at. If you are looking for an extremely funny "hood" movie then watch Friday. If you are looking for a powerful emotional movie (something that this movie tries at..kind of) watch something like hoop dreams or Jason's Lyric. If you are lookin for some good black "booty" go watch a Dominique Simone porn flick, because the nudity in this movie is nearly non-existent. However, if you have nothing better to do and this is on cable, go ahead and watch it. You will be slightly amused. ***3 out of 10***