So much average

Save your money for something good and enjoyable

Absolutely the worst movie.

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

After opening an ancient tomb discovered beneath their school, teacher Takashi Yabe (Naoto Takenaka) and pretty student Tsukishima (Megumi Ueno) fall victim to the goblins trapped within. With the help of archaeologist Hieda Reijirou (Kenji Sawada), Takashi's son Masao attempts to prevent the goblins from escaping into our world.Tetsuo, The Iron Man, Shin'ya Tsukamoto's nightmarish cyberpunk cult hit, found its audience with the art-house/obscure horror intelligentsia; I can't imagine the same crowd going quite so gaga for Hiruko the Goblin, which takes a far less visionary approach, borrowing much of it its visual stylings from Sam Raimi's The Evil Dead and John Carpenter's The Thing.The film's plot is just as incomprehensible as Tetsuo's—I hadn't a clue what was happening for much of the time—but Tsukamoto eschews the surreal for a far more basic, splat-stick style, with plenty of gushing blood, crazy creatures, and chaotic, over-the-top acting. It might not make much sense half the time, but with decapitated heads sprouting legs, a crazy archaeologist armed with homemade goblin-hunting gizmos, and a young hero who develops burns on his back that resemble the goblins' victims, it's hard not to enjoy on the most basic of levels.

If you were going to pick a director to helm a zany comedy horror, Shinya Tsukamoto would not be high up your list. Though a master artist and a consummate professional, Tsukamoto's mainstay is obscure art-film like Tetsuo and Bullet Ballet. Yes Tetsuo is effectively a horror and is as balls-to-the-wall frenetic as you're ever likely to see, but it's not a straight horror and it certainly isn't funny past the madcap energy it's possessed with.This is why Hiruko just plain doesn't work. It's apparently Tsukamoto's only foray into studio movies, and I can see why they never brought him back. For practically the entire movie, Hiruko threatens to A: Make the characters believable and B: Let loose with the creatures and the silliness, but Tsukamoto gets distracted every time by the possibility of a well-shot flashback or artistically edited kill sequence. Newsflash, if you're going to decapitate somebody in a horror movie, do it properly. No one will be shocked, so get on with it and don't hack it into 75 different shots to try and justify the violence.Hiruko manages to at times pick up the psychotic pacing and energy of the Evil Dead series, and Tsukamoto is obviously influenced by Raimi's style, but hasn't picked up on the silliness of the Evil Dead films. The gleeful overkill and total disrespect for realism they showed is in part present in Hiruko. However, sequences like when the goblin traps itself under a saucepan and wanders about aimlessly, or another bit where a character crawls away from the goblin at speed and accidentally traps his arms in a cardbard box are genius, but they're sandwiched between constant dull plot exposition.And oh lord, the dullness. Instead of concentrating on the cool things about the characters and plot, like Hieda's habit of making anti-goblin equipment out of his kitchen utensils or the fact that the other fella is growing little heads on his body every time the goblin kills someone, Tsukamoto falls into textbook Asian horror cliché A. What is that folks? C'mon, you know it and so do I! That's right! The 'oh god I did something awful and must atone for it by fighting with supernatural forces beyond my comprehension and OH LORDY you appear to be some kind of reincarnation/chosen one and ALONE have the power to stop this' cliché. My god, if I see one more film from Japan where the main character accidentally let someone die and their mate has to save them I will resign and start watching romantic comedies. Seriously, write something else, and preferably don't make yer horrors overly complicated. Basically, splatter horror (which this basically is, arty and overly-complicated as it is) is like R-Type. It sure as hell didn't need much of a storyline in the 80s and it still doesn't now. Leave the clever stuff to psych-horror like Shutter.Hiruko the Goblin is unfortunately a textbook exercise in how to over-think making a genre flick. If Tsukamoto stopped thinking (unnecessarily) about an incredibly ropey plot and minor details and concentrated on making a kick-ass horror comedy about head-stealing spider-goblins (which this movie could so easily become with a few minor tweaks) it would have rocked, but unfortunately it just stands as an awkward and at times extremely dull art-house stab at a genre movie.

I decided to purchase the film before seeing it. It was a "blind buy". was it worth it? Yes. That's not to say that the film isn't without it's faults however.The story (like many people have already said) is somewhat confusing. I'm not going to go into the basic plot of the film, because you can look that up yourself...lol. I'll tell you that the plot IS interesting though, if maybe a tad to complex for it's own good.I'm just going to point out what i liked and didn't like, so that you'll be able to make a decision on whether or not the film would be worth your time.The effects were OK. This is obviously a low budget flick. That being said, there were only a couple really cheesy effects. Of course, the main gimmick is the whole "heads with spider legs" thing, and that's pulled off pretty well for the most part. I gotta say, they do look pretty creepy and some of them shoot large tongues out their mouths (reminded me of Uzumaki to a certain degree).The film doesn't really know if it's serious or slapstick. Now by slapstick, i don't mean there's scenes like you'd see in "the naked gun" or movies of that type however. One of the main characters runs around with quirky inventions made of household items. he carries a can of aerosol spray that evidently the goblins don't like. There's a lot of tongue in cheek events and scenes in this one...but there's some good horror elements as well.in fact, there's actually quite a few scenes that gave me goosebumps. there was also 2 or 3 moments where i actually jumped a little bit. it's just too bad that it seems like the last 3/4's of the film loses the "horror edge" and makes the film seem like a bad Japanese Indiana Jones ripoff in comparison to what we see earlier in the film.Oh yeah, there's some pretty violent scenes in this as well. so if you aren't a fan of gore and blood...then this might turn you off. however, the violence isn't "shocking" or anything that would upset the squeamish.The premise is interesting, but i honestly think this would have been a much better flick if it was straight horror...and dropped the goofy comedic tone found in many scenes. Overall though, it's a pretty fun ride...and there's really not much out there that has the feel the film has. I'm a big time horror fan, and it floats my boat and was worth the blind purchase.RATING: 7/10

Hiruko the Goblin (aka Yokai Hanta – Hiruko) director Shinya Tsukamoto has said that this is "a film about a head". I'm not sure that's quite right, but given the relative inscrutability of the film and Tsukamoto's self-professed love of cryptic ambiguity--substantial enough that he has said to not know what certain scenes or films of his are about--I suppose that "a film about a head" will have to do.But actually, there's much more to Hiruko the Goblin than that, and at least on a surface level, the film is often almost pedestrian in presenting certain horror conventions. It's just that when you try to tie all of the scenes together, or when you try to figure out what certain more poetic and surreal dialogue and events have to do with what's going on elsewhere, the film's transparency for interpretation can harden into a block of concrete quicker than you can say "Ni"! But that's probably how Tsukamoto wants it, and if we're judging the film solely on how well it achieves its aims, we'd have to say it kicks butt. But that's not quite right, either, because a film could aim to suck, and if it does suck, we'd then have to say that it kicks butt. So we have to factor in how enjoyable/aesthetically rewarding the film is in what it sets out to do. On those grounds, I have to stick with a 7 out of 10, or a "C" here.But enough with trying to be as impenetrably dense as Tsukamoto. Here are the basics of the plot as well as I can understand it: Hieda Reijirou (Kenji Sawada) is an archaeologist who has a penchant for inventing odd gadgets using everyday items, often kitchen utensils. At the beginning of the film, he makes some significant archaeological "mound" discovery. Then we switch to Takashi Yabe (Naoto Takenaka) and the much younger and more attractive Tsukishima Reiko (Megumi Ueno), who are exploring some cave when an unseen force comes after them and makes them quickly dolly along with the camera for some comical close-ups of "terror", ala the opening of Terry Gilliam's Jabberwocky (1977). (Did I mention that this is sort of a horror comedy?) Then we switch to three school kids, apparently classmates of Reiko's, the most important of which is Yabe's son, Masao (Masaki Kudou), who are searching for Reiko at the school. They see the scary janitor, Watanabe (Hideo Murota), then get involved in an interesting horror situation at the school, when Reijirou shows up with a bunch of gadgets for some reason. Eventually, Reijirou and Masao Yabe team up and try to solve whatever the mystery was--and it turns out to be fairly bizarre and poetic.That plot description probably sounds a lot more vague than it would have to, but in addition to the film being a bit confusing, I have to be careful to not give too much away. Maybe it would be better--since surely it's mostly horror fans reading this review who would be wondering if they should check out the film--to say that the first major section is kind of a combination of haunted house/slasher stuff, with a heavy Evil Dead (1981) vibe (Tsukamoto even uses Raimi-like fast hand-held "tracking" shots through hallways, weird angles, and even invokes a chainsaw at one point). The second major section turns into more of a supernatural/creature story--imagine David Cronenberg doing an H.P. Lovecraft film and you'll get the idea.All of this stuff is good on some level, even if it's pretty difficult to put together. Among the things that I was still bewildered about when the film ended were: What was the relationship between Reiko, Reijirou, Takashi Yabe, and the three boys? What did all of that religion/mythology dialogue have to do with the plot? Why did Masao Yabe have appearance and functional resemblances to his ancestor? Just what was the deal with Masao's back--why was that happening? If you like weirdness, and you don't mind a bit of derivativeness and confusion, you'll love Hiruko the Goblin.There were a lot of things I loved about the film. I loved Reijirou's gadgets. I loved the blood/gore/decapitations (part of why this is "a film about a head"). Tsukamoto sure knows how to get the visceral stuff right. I liked the humor. I loved some of the cinematography, even if Tsukamoto had his Raimi notes written on his palm while shooting. I loved the special effects, especially the Cronenbergish stuff (and this is another part of why this is "a film about a head"). I loved a lot of the music--especially the melancholy song that Reiko kept singing (which reminded me of some similarly-flavored songs from Suicide Club (Jisatsu saakuru, 2002)--I watched that only a couple weeks before seeing Hiruko). Some of the other music was a bit like generic 1980s "synth-horror" music, but on the other hand, some music that sounded close to that was interesting jazz fusion stuff. I loved the almost corny (well, maybe it just was corny) final scenes, one of which seemed like maybe Richard Kelly kinda stole it for Donnie Darko (2001).So there were a lot of positive points about the film. I just hope I'm not going to have to pass a quiz on the plot, themes or subtexts.