The Sexy Adventures of Van Helsing

October. 27,2004      R
Rating:
3.9
Trailer Synopsis Cast

An all-female version of the Van Helsing tale reconfigures the vampire story as an erotic fantasy. The great, great granddaughter of Van Helsing seeks to slay the sexy Countess Dracula. She may have to pretend to be her devoted love slave to get closer to the bloodthirsty demon.

Darian Caine as  Dracula
Erika Smith as  Van Helsing
A.J. Khan as  Philomenia
Erin Brown as  Maiden #2

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Reviews

Gutsycurene
2004/10/27

Fanciful, disturbing, and wildly original, it announces the arrival of a fresh, bold voice in American cinema.

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StyleSk8r
2004/10/28

At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

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Portia Hilton
2004/10/29

Blistering performances.

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Marva
2004/10/30

It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,

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Boba_Fett1138
2004/10/31

This is some delicious trash. It's a typical soft-core lesbian flick that gets combined with a well known horror story and characters. Well, not that this movie has much to do with the Bram Stoker novel of course, as a matter of fact this movie doesn't follow much story at all but the movie is really being saved and made by its sense of entertainment.The cast & crew obviously didn't took the project very seriously and I'm glad they didn't. The movie is deliberately over-the-top with its performances, story and comedy. This is what makes "Sexy Adventures of Van Helsing" a very fun movie to watch. I'll bet they had lots of fun making this movie.The movie of course has some very poor production values. This movies are purely made by the studios to cash in, they are interested in making a "Citizen Kane" like movie at all. This means that the story has an obvious cheap look, though I must admit that I had seen far worse for these type of movies. This movie actually did spend still some time on its make-up effects and all.It's comedy is almost cartoon like and no matter how cheesy it all often is, you'll still be entertained by it.As for the sex itself, after all this is an adult picture, it's pretty much what you could expect from a soft-core porn flick. So a lot is being implied but very little is being shown actually. Also the sex sequences also seem to come and go pretty random at times within the movie. As if the had to made a quota of a certain minimum amount of sex sequences. Because of this the movie doesn't really feel like it's following an actual story at all. Within its genre it's simple a very fine and entertaining movie.8/10http://bobafett1138.blogspot.com/

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Dusty Bannster
2004/11/01

This movie left me very impressed. Probably one of the first things you will notice is the cheesy humor and poor acting, but you shouldn't be looking for some grand performance, this is a soft core movie, and cheesy things pretty much come hand in hand with porn. Now when this comes to the sexual performance, it delivers very, very well. There are many scenes and most of the women are very attractive. The ones that aren't so attractive, you forget once they engage in some sexual activities. The end scene delivers very well. It's a shame the main character doesn't have much for sex scenes as she is very attractive, even though they try to portray her as an unattractive nerd type for most of it. I would highly recommend this, I would say it's worth buying so you can add it to your collection.

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Dr. Gore
2004/11/02

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* I bought this DVD. I bought it because I saw that Erika Smith was in it. I saw her in "Bite Me!" and liked her in that. She's funny, got a nice body and she's a pretty decent actress to boot. Of course, "Bite Me!" was a horror comedy so it wasn't an all out sex marathon like other Seduction flicks. Erika was a stripper in "Bite Me!", she stripped a little but there was no major action. When I saw that she was starring in her own lesbian vampire flick, I knew that this was a film I had to see right away.Hmmmm, I can think of one glaring omission from "The Sexy Adventures of Van Helsing": Van Helsing, (Erika Smith), does not have any sex. This makes me sad. Interesting new B-movie tactic. They put a girl on the cover of their lesbian vampire flick but don't let her have anything to do with lesbians or vampires. Quite ingenious. I would also like to point out that she's on the DVD cover wearing a cape and a tight leather vampire killing outfit. This outfit does not appear in the actual movie. Of course it doesn't. Why should I expect anything less? She's wearing a white t-shirt through most of the movie. As far as nudity goes, she gets a little naked at the beginning and then that's that. Erika's sex kitten debut is a letdown.Of course, the movie's not completely worthless. I mean, there is still plenty of lesbian sex. There is a pretty hot scene at the end as Erika convinces some ladies to party in Dracula's crypt. This party scene saves the movie. Erika is pretty funny as the goober girl who turns into a vampire hunter.But to be honest, I didn't buy this movie to have Erika show off her acting skills. Of course this brings up the most important question about this movie: Why is she starring in a lesbian vampire flick if she's not going to be participating? Why the shyness? Why? Why I say? You call yourself a Van Helsing? You come from a "long line of lesbians"? I just can't believe it.

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Pinesol13
2004/11/03

when I think of Van Helsing, I think of BOOBS!!!!! Vampire Boobs!!!!!!!!!! This cinematic triumph comes from the same director as Gladiator Eroticus, and Playmate of the Apes, so when I rented it from my local video store, I knew I was in for something special! There were girls, and they were fighting!! fighting NAKED! I highly recommend that you watch this film. But if three sets of surgically altered mammaries doesn't really do it for you, there are other aspects of this movie that make it worth at least three viewings. The special effects rival the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and are as ground breaking as The Matrix, or the latest Peter Gabriel music video. THE FACE OF CINEMA WOULD NOT BE THE SAME, WITHOUT THE SEXY ADVENTURES OF VAN HELSING!!!!

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