The Worst Film Ever

Such a frustrating disappointment

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

Even in a perfect world,thanks to cable, we all would somehow still be exposed to countless bad movies just like this one.Many of these stink-bombs I've viewed and tolerated courtesy of the brilliant riffing geniuses over at Mystery Science Theater 3000. This movie,ANGEL'S REVENGE and its cast, I must say deserves more than simply being 'riffed' upon. In a perfect world, it would be more entertaining and much less painful for the audience if Mike, Dr Forrester and the bots at MST3K were to sew all seven of these awful, talentless jiggle-queen actresses together, mouth to rectum,just to avoid their trite,awfully delivered dialog. Then, in a perfect world, they would chop into tiny little bite-sized bits,slowly stewed pieced of the movie's head writer. They would mix in with it with chunks of Jack Palance, Jim Backus just for agreeing to be seen in this awful cinematic tripe. Then the entire disgusting mix would be forcibly spoon-fed to the newly created "Human Jigglepede"...using the Diector's skull as a bowl. I give this movie one star but I give the MST3K version 7 out of 10 for at least making this "Jigglepede" watchable!

"Angels' Brigade" is about as angelic as a root canal. Seemingly produced for a bunch of men whose hormones outweigh their body mass, the movie follows a bunch of big-breasted women who set out to bring down a drug kingpin's empire. Since there's not really any plot, the movie is mainly noticeable because it stars two "Gilligan's Island" cast members: Alan Hale and Jim Backus (and wouldn't you know it, they don't even get to share any scenes). Although I gave the movie one star, it gets five out of four stars when shown on "MST3K", and that's only because it gives Mike, Servo and Crow an incentive to come up with some great comments. I'd say that that episode was their most "Gilligan's Island"-related, not just because "Angels' Brigade" stars the Skipper and Mr. Howell, but also because certain scenes prompt Mike and the 'bots to mention Bob Denver, Natalie Schaefer and Tina Louise (what, no Russell Johnson or Dawn Wells?).

Big breasts and nice bums are not enough for me. In my opinion there are not that many attractive people in this piece of junk besides. What really irks me about this movie is supposed righteous theme that is presented by our heroines. Drugs are bad, everyone knows this, but why did they see it fit to become crimefighters? They never really did go for the police, nor sought any type of help...instead this motley crew finds it necessary to fight for themselves. Without any experience, the audience has to make a leap of faith that these women know what they are doing. Seven untrained, naive women are going to bring down the entire empire of a drug lord. In a matter of days, these unheard and unknown group of seven women from backgrounds that have nothing to do with crimefighting, become a highly organized group that is able to take down this drug lord or any type of evil in the world. This story has so many lapses of logic, that I bet whoever wrote it never thought of proofreading; I compare it to a term paper written the night before. A completely icky movie.

You know a film is truly awful when the titles switch. "Gigli," "Angels Revenge" and "Weekend at Kitty and Stud's" all were renamed. "Angels Revenge" to "Angels' Brigade," and "Weekend at Kitty and Stud's" to "The Italian Stallion."This film is horrible, even watching it with MST3K wasn't very funny. It's just awful. Best highlight:CROW (upon a close-up of a woman's behind): Hey, you're givin' away the plot!0/5 stars -John Ulmer