Strong and Moving!

Don't Believe the Hype

Wow! What a bizarre film! Unfortunately the few funny moments there were were quite overshadowed by it's completely weird and random vibe throughout.

I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

SUPER TANKER has to be the worst SyFy Channel-funded movie ever. Even the title is boring. This is the pits, worse even than all the dodgy disaster movies they make and the monster flicks combined. The plot involves some nuclear cloud that has the power to form and destroy whatever it comes into contact with, and there's a lot of stuff on ships with various officious types ranting and struggling to prevent a disaster and to cover the whole thing up before anybody finds out.The film's leads are vacuous and wooden and the whole thing is only notable for the familiar actors they've roped into appearing; David Schofield and Ben Cross must have been really hard up to agree to star in this nonsense. The special effects of the cloud are just about adequate but the various CGI ships and helicopters are appalling indeed. I like the way the scriptwriter plays casual racism for laughs, nice touch there bud. Just kidding...SUPER TANKER is a real mess and has no redeeming features whatsoever.

I'm a sucker for shlock Saturday afternoon rubbish, ask any of my friends, but this is the all time worst steaming pile of poo I have ever had to watch. Worse than write by numbers, this turkey isn't even a serious attempt at taking the mick for laughs. It's just plain awful.I will ask a random question, why is it that the only way SyFy films ever solve anything is by throwing nukes at the anomaly? Saves yourself the trouble, if this is on and there is absolutely nothing else on, stick Rocky Horror on the DVD or maybe early Doctor Who, at least you'll be happy and confident you didn't have to suffer.On the other hand, Super Tanker is also a great way to torture your enemies, so it's not a complete waste of time I guess.

It is a SYFY movie correct? Did you expect a multi million dollar budget? Hang that! The movie was good. The dialogue was not bad and the acting came off as more believable than a lot of what comes off of that channel.Ben Cross makes the film shine regardless of what one thinks of the effects and such. It is worth watching for him alone, but the rest of the cast was good with ONE exception--that was the actress playing the press secretary...She came across as flat to me. Thank God her part was small. She batted those eyes like a teenager rather than controlling her facial expressions like an adult. It also seemed as though she looked away off to her right instead of into a camera or an audience her character was addressing. Pathetic. At least Cross handled that podium scene well enough to cover up her snafu.I am not going to put spoilers in here for those who haven't watched it but while the effects weren't that great, consider the budget. Yes, more could have been done in that respect but given what they had to work with, the cast and crew did well...Unless you go to theaters, you won't get films with outrageous budgets to tickle your fancy.

I watched this so you don't have to! Stumbled upon this amazing film tonight, and - what a treat! It is the most incredibly bad film I've seen in a long time. I found a steaming pile of Hollywood offal that makes you wonder whether studios are running off tax deductions alone.It comes complete with just awful computer graphics, repeated pentagon stock footage and an appalling textbook plot. The scenes which were so badly stitched together, the noses were removed from faces with no bother to replace them... It had husky voiced commanders evil villainous admirals, innocent children crouching in paradise as the giant cloud causes the city to explode... and tough guys who won't give up. Oh, and the bird.Even the bikini babes were C grade in this film. I just can't express how bad this film is. It could almost be a comedy if it weren't so poorly put together. I was laughing at the beginning, but dry reaching by the end. I was gasping for it like a drowning person running out of air. 1 out of 10.