Infamous London gangster cousins, Micky Mannock and Ray Collishaw, are at the top of the food chain, when their world is turned upside down as they lose a shipment of the Russian Mafia's cocaine in rough seas. Set in London, Amsterdam and Berlin, the story races across Europe at breakneck speed as Micky and Ray attempt to stay one step ahead of the Police. Can they pull off a daring diamond heist in time to put things right and retire to a "legitimate" way of life.
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Reviews
Powerful
Excellent but underrated film
Am i the only one who thinks........Average?
An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.
Infamous cousins, Micky Mannock and Ray Collishaw, are at the top of their game, when their world is turned upside down, as they lose a shipment of the Russian Mafia's cocaine in rough seas. They race across Europe to attempt to stay one step ahead of the Police, The Russians, and Frank Harpers vanity.......I love watching films with Craig Fairbrass, ever since he appeared in Cliffhanger as a Cockney Geezer, he has played the same character in everything he has appeared in, and he never fails to make me chuckle.So I thought I'd hit pay-dirt with this, and thought I'd be in store for a couple of hours worth of silly swearing, Chavvy clothes, and idle threats. Believe me, I don't like these sort of films, I just watch them for their crassness, and stupidity.But then I realise its just a complete vanity project for Frank Harper, another hard man you wouldn't ask or an autograph from in real life, and it really got me thinking, how on earth can films like this and the equally bad 'Big Fat Gypsy Gangster' get green lighted?Harper casts a glamour model as his Girlfriend, who also like the fairer sex, and he gets all the best lines, and it turns from a laughable crime drama, to The Frank Harper show.Charles Dance turns up every now and again, dying a little inside saying these poor lines, and sort things out.CGI blood is awful, and in the end, its just a poor excuse of a film.But at least I found out what the Acronym POSH stands for.Frank Harper, movie maker and educator....
I've clicked on the spoiler alert because the spoiler is this film is b*ll*x beyond belief. If you're a fan of British gangster moves this film will sadly disappoint. I lost track of the times either dialog or scenes had been shamelessly ripped off from HBOs The Sopranos.Throw in Russian mobsters, missing cocaine, football hooligans and and East End funeral complete with horse drawn hearse and you have all the ingredients for a clichéd script supported by a cast so wooden they're at risk of Dutch Elm disease.The "Nipper Harris" character (Jamie Foreman) is like a cross between Colombo and one of the chuckle brothers. The director should have gone the whole way and dressed him in a pearly king suit and swapped the cigar for jellied eels.I'm amazed that an actor of the quality of Charles Dance got involved with this. Its not as if this was poor execution of a good script with a strong plot-line. There are also some quite bizarre choices for scene settings where the main British protagonists meet their sinister Russian counterparts in a field.This is quite simply one of the worst films I have ever watched, of any genre.
St. Georges Day is a debut effort written and directed by eloquent and softly spoken Shakespearean thespian Frank Harper, famous for his roles in The Football Factory and Lock. Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (Guy Ritchie, 2008), and let us not forget his scene stealing performance as the bank robber in Kevin and Perry Go Large (Ed Bye, 2000). I thoroughly enjoyed Dexter Fletcher's (who is, of course, briefly in this) directorial debut Wild Bill last year, so maybe this could be another enjoyable treat. He seems to have persuaded all his mates to be in it, the only ones missing are Danny Dyer and Tamer Hassan; maybe they were performing Hamlet at the Old Vic during filming? Well...I will come back to term 'enjoyable' later if I may? First, a quick review:It seems Frank Harper has certainly learnt a few things while starring in all these geezer films, in basically that he has cut and pasted all the clichéd plots from these and stuck them all together in what is an absolute narrative mess. This film received consistently horrific reviews, and I have to admit that they are all deserved. St. Georges Day is the most possibly generic and clichéd 'cockeney gangster' film you could imagine. Every cliché in terms of plot and characters is there to see in full clunky and embarrassing glory. I am not going to list them here, but anyone who watches this will be ticking them off in their head almost involuntarily. As for the dialogue, co-written by Frank himself, when there are lines such as "The Price is Right? This isn't the game show you c**t!" or "Two words: Angry Russians", it is basically Eastenders with swearing. There is a also a very insular and quite racist approach to this film, such as the typical evil Russian gangsters and double crossing Dutch drug dealers. However, what becomes really embarrassing is Frank Harper's deluded sense of patriotism that comes out within the script, there are many occasions where he compares their drugs operation and how they are going to sort out the mess they created to strategies deployed by Churchill and the British armies in both of the world wars. This is both insulting and rather embarrassing to watch; as we have to remember that these men are criminals despite whatever 'moral code' they follow. There are many voice-over scenes, usually with Frank Harper looking pensive on some riverside where he tries to justify to us why he is essentially a criminal. He often mentions things like 'loyalty' and tells us that he never killed anyone that "didn't deserve it or would have done the same thing to him". No Frank, you are criminals, you are not the good guys. Even the police are portrayed as bad guys for simply doing their job; does Frank really think we are that stupid? Also, it is worth saying that Keeley Hazell stars in her debut film role and is shocking, though let us face it, she is not there for her acting is she? She also plays Mickey's girlfriend and there are many scenes where Frank Harper gets to kiss her. Hang on! Isn't Frank Harper writer, actor, director and producer? Indeed he is. Oh, Frank, you dirty old man! However, her character as 'Peckham Princess' (No, me neither) is beyond caricature, as with all the women here who are simply portrayed in a shamefully misogynistic way. However, this just adds to the list of generic narrow minded stereotyping like evil Russians, drugged up crazy Dutch people, angry Scottish people etc. Now, I will return to the phrase 'enjoyable', and though I may well be contradicting what I have previously just said, but I must confess that I found St. Georges Day extremely enjoyable. This does come with a proviso though: If you take St. Georges Day with a pinch of salt, and when you see a cast list like that (maybe with the exception of Charles Dance – maybe a marketing ploy?) how on earth can you take this film seriously? I went into this film expecting ridiculous nonsense and was not disappointed; I must confess that it frequently made me laugh. It is obvious that Frank Harper thinks he is making the Citizen Kane of British gangster films. St. Georges Day takes itself so ridiculously seriously; this almost makes it even funnier to watch. You never laugh with it, but frequently at it and because of this I will confess that I actually really enjoyed it, though certainly not for any of the reasons dear old (now officially an auteur) Frank Harper would want. In summary: Predictable, clichéd, crap. This is the definitive British gangster film in that every cliché and caricature is there to see, all put together by the chunkiest script imaginable. However, this may well be (unintentionally) one of the funniest British films of recent years.
STAR RATING: ***** Saturday Night **** Friday Night *** Friday Morning ** Sunday Night * Monday MorningMicky Mannock (Frank Harper) has been talked into doing a cocaine deal with some Russian mobsters, while his cousin Ray Collishaw (Craig Fairbrass) is trying to go straight, and particularly doesn't want to work with said Russians. But he gets talked in anyway, and then the sh!t really hits the fan when the drugs are lost in high seas. The already fragile alliance he had with the Russians is now in tatters, and they end up at war, while to solve the problem co conspirator Albert Ball (Vincent Regan) suggests a diamond smuggling from Amsterdam, whilst other factions of their group get involved in a big football ruckus in Germany- on St. George's Day.Over the last decade or so, the British Film Industry has created a sort of cult following of these crime/gangster films. One of the more familiar faces to have become known among them is big cockney lad Frank Harper, and with this he marks his directorial debut. It's clear he was working with a very low budget, surprising given the all star cast list on offer here, but with no A list names on board (the closest to big time seemingly Charles Dance in a supporting role), it feels more like a collaboration between mates rather than an all star, sweeping epic. And you only have to watch it to feel this more so.I must admit I haven't done my best job with the plot summary, but it all just feels so convoluted and disjointed that it was the best I could do. It ends up coming off as a boring, uninteresting gangster story, with all the usual clichés of the genre thrown in without thought and without even any decent violence to satisfy the more immoral of the audience, or even justify the 18 certificate. After all this, as it draws to a close, the film has the nerve to become self indulgent, dragging on well over the hour and a half mark.Mr. Harper may have a presence that makes him a favourite of Nick Love and the like, but from this evidence it's clear directing really isn't his forte. *