Don't Believe the Hype

Good films always raise compelling questions, whether the format is fiction or documentary fact.

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

Dave Stewie (Christopher Meloni) is a beloved PE teacher. He is still haunted by a very public humiliating defeat as an Olympic gymnast. The President announces a competition for the National Gym Teacher of the Year. Despite his reluctance, his students convinces him to enter. The problem is that new helmet-wearing student Roland Waffle (Nathan Kress) is sure to lose the competition. Stewie falls for the new English teacher only to discover that she's Roland's over-protective mother. There is also the weird principal Abby Hoffman (Amy Sedaris).Paul Dinello uses his directing skills and brings a bit of the 'Strangers with Candy' sensibility. It's too bad that the mom is played by Chelah Horsdal. She's doing the role very straight. It could have been funnier if Amy Sedaris takes that role. Instead, the principal disappears in the second half. The competition has inherit difficulties. The kids are basically side characters and the competition is about them. Stewie is a side character to the competition. This all makes the second half less than compelling. I wish Dinello go crazy even with the kids. This could have worked better.

Have you ever had jock itch? If you have, and you actually thought that it was funny, then I'm sure you'll enjoy that same sort of pleasure while watching Gym Teacher: The Movie.And if while watching Gym Teacher: The Movie you actually found yourself laughing, then I'd sure like to hear about it. I really would.Gym Teacher was basically a sub-par (and I do mean "sub"-par) rip-off of the exceptional sports-film Hoosiers. Yep. That's about all that it was.Even though Gym Teacher was directly aimed at a much younger viewing audience than myself, I was quite alarmed by the lewd behavior of a certain female character in this film named Abby Hoffmann (aka Hamm Lake's woman principal).Like, hey, I'm certainly no prude, or anything of that sort, but this repulsive woman's sexual aggressiveness was about as horrible as I've ever seen in a film of this caliber. Hoffmann openly treated all of the male teaching staff as if they were nothing but pieces of meat to be eyed lasciviously and propositioned by her at every possible opportunity.I personally think that the outright lecherousness of Principal Hoffmann's sleazy character sent out a really fukked-up message to one and all, especially to any naive child out there who might have been watching, and, yes, actually paying attention to this film.Anyways, as Gym Teacher's story goes - Dave Stewie, the cute and much-beloved gym teacher at Hamm Lake Senior Public School, is pressured from all sides into entering his school's athletic team (a real bunch of pathetic misfits and losers) into the National Gym Class Fitness Competition. This competition is apparently a really big deal amongst the students of senior public schools all across America.Foul play from the rival school's devious, back-stabbing coach inspires darling Dave to get his little group of lazy bastards whipped into shape before they are met with inevitable defeat and, yes, disgrace in front of the other participating schools.(Boring! - Boring! - Boring!) All-in-all, Gym Teacher was an utter waste of about 90 minutes of my time. This film was "B-Grade" Baaaaad!

Dave Stewie (Christopher Meloni) is a well-liked junior high school gym teacher. Even the female principal (Amy Sedaris) adores him, perhaps too much. One day, the sports network announces a competition between 8th grade gym classes and Stewie is urged to enter his class. But, alas, just at that moment, Dave gets a new student, Roland (Nathan Kress) who is as uncoordinated as they come. This is, in part, because his widowed teacher mother, Winnie (Chelah Hersdal) has been overprotective. Her husband, you see, died in a tragic potato sack race and she makes Roland stay out of sports and wear a protective helmet at all times. The rules of the competition state that all members of the class have to be included in the games. So, the only solution is for Dave to try to train Roland, in secret, and finish the contest before Winnie finds out. This proves even harder than normal because Dave and Winnie are already "stepping out" together, liking what they see in each other. How will Stewie's team fare in the sports meet, especially when an old rival (David Alan Grier) is the gym teacher at a competing school? This film is what the Beach Boys would describe as "fun, fun, fun". Meloni turns in a fine comic performance, different from his crime show straight roles, and Sedaris is also very funny. Hersdal makes a lovely romantic interest while the rest of the cast, including the young Kress and old pro Grier, are pleasurable, too. As a Nickleodeon movie, it has a nice look, script, and zestful direction. My only quibble was, near the end, one of the youngsters throws a helmet at a player on the opposing team, without consequences. So, while his frustration is understandable, his actions are not sportsmanlike and should have been penalized. However, this is minor and can be talked out with any children who sit down for a view. All in all, although gym class usually makes a lot of kids groan, everyone in the family will enjoy this Gym Teacher.

The Film doesn't start off too well, with a very bad announcer guy for a spoof of ESPN doing the biggest mess ups in sports. But After that, the film picks up with some very good acting for a NICK film. Nathan Kress shines as Roland and Chris Meloni(If i spelt that right) does a good job doing a comedic role.All i can really say is, once the film ends, you won't be mad you watched it(can't say the same about some nick movies). Its a good film, not amazing, but not awful either, its good.Nick is starting to pick up well, and Nathan Kress is a rising star that has a great career ahead of him.9/10