Sick Product of a Sick System

Boring

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

'Only in Japan' comes to mind when you watch "Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl" ("Kyûketsu Shôjo tai Shôjo Furanken"). It is one of those outrageous Japanese blood-fest movies. It is so over-the-top that it is bizarrely entertaining.The story is odd and bizarre, yes, as they tend to be in this particular genre of Japanese gore movies. And it is something that has to be seen in order to be believed. As such, I will not even attempt at a synopsis that does the movie Justice.The effects were as to be expected from a movie like this, and the blood was abundant by the gallons. If you enjoy state of the art effects and CGI, then you should not be watching the Japanese gore movies. The effects do serve their purpose well enough, in my opinion, and will often have you laughing.It was a real treat to see Eihi Shiina in this movie, despite it being a small role. Lead actress Yukie Kawamura really carried the movie quite well.All in all an entertaining movie and well-worth a watch if you enjoy this genre of Japanese gore.

It was Pittsburgh-born filmmaker Herschell Gordon Lewis who, by dint of a dozen or so splatterific exploitation films that he directed from 1963 - '72, earned himself the nickname "The Godfather of Gore." But, I have a feeling, Herschell, who is presently 84, might just bust an artery himself if he ever got a gander at what the Japanese are currently doing in the field of gore FX; specifically, what Yoshihiro Nishimura has accomplished in the last 12 or so years. It was the 2001 film "Suicide Club" that initially alerted me to the talents of this modern-day goremaster, but even that film could not prepare me for the pyrotechnic blood-geyser FX that were to be had in 2008's oh-so appropriately named "Tokyo Gore Police," which Nishimura also directed. However, it was 2009's over-the-top "Machine Girl" that really made me appreciate Nishimura for the technical wizard that he is. And now, happy to say, the dude has impressed me hugely for a fourth time. In 2009's "Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl," Nishimura doesn't just contribute his trademark blood-fountain visuals, but also co-directs and is responsible for the film's hyperkinetic editing. A genuine triple threat, the man has almost single-handedly transformed the Japanese horror and exploitation industry into one of the most visually stylish and envelope pushing in the world.In the film in question, a love triangle of sorts is going on in Tokyo High School (the only high school in Tokyo, I suppose!). Hunky dude Jyugon (Takumi Saito) is the object of affection of both the assistant principal's daughter, a "Valley Girl" type named Keiko (Eri Otoguro), AND the new exchange student, Monami (the remarkably beautiful Yukie Kawamura). When Jyugon eats a chocolate given to him by Monami as a Valentine's Day love token, little does he realize that at its center is a drop of the girl's vampire blood! But other problems soon arise to plague the lad, other than his own developing affinity for the red stuff. Keiko soon picks a fight with her pretty rival, only to take a plunge off of the high school roof and get smashed to corned beef hash in the street below. Fortunately, unbeknownst to everyone, her assistant principal dad has a rather unusual pet hobby: While dressed in Kabuki attire in the school's basement, mad Kenji (Kanji Tsuda) and the super-hot head nurse, Midori (Sayaka Kametani), are endeavoring to bring the dead back to life! And so, using a drop of Monami's blood to aid in their efforts, Keiko IS brought back to the land of the living, to face off against the vampiress in one truly battle royale!Actually, though, this tame-sounding plot description can give you little idea of just how mind boggling an experience "Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl" is; sadly, my poor powers of description and unfamiliarity with the tools of 21st century filmmaking leave me almost speechless here. From the picture's very first scene, in which Monami dukes it out with three other Frankensteinian creations, amid flying skulls and omnipresent hemoglobin, the experience here is fairly jaw dropping. At least three scenes are genuine tours de force: the psychedelic sequence in which Jyugon eats that laced chocolate, replete with tinted lenses, swirling camera work, strobelike flashes, bloody skeletons and fractal images; the scene in which Kenji and Midori operate on an early victim, amidst candy-colored visuals and electrical discharges; and the culminating battle between Monami and Keiko high atop Tokyo Tower, while a simultaneous battle between the electric whip-wielding Midori and Monami's servant Igor transpires below. The instances of wacky details and demented throwaway gags are almost too numerous to count, but include the Super Dark Girls Club (a group of Japanese gals who dress up in Afro wigs and makeup in a desire to be black), a wrist-cutting championship (the spectacle of these madly slashing young women may be the film's toughest to watch), Midori gleefully using a hatchet and scythe on a young student, Monami transforming into a demon before chomping a victim in the neck (a victim who of course turns into a human blood geyser), and a flashback scene to many hundreds of years earlier, when Monami's mom (played by Eihi Shiina , star of 1999's "Audition" as well as "Tokyo Gore Police") battled a vampire hunter with a bullet-spitting helmet on his head! The film is also, incidentally, hilarious throughout, such as when we learn that the Frankenstein Keiko has been given the super-tough arms of a wrist cutter, the agile legs of a Dark Girl, and the lungs of their Chinese teacher, "iron lungs capable of breathing in atmospheres with high concentrations of car exhaust." And how bizarre it is when Kenji enthuses "At last, I can slice up Keiko's body. It's the sort of pleasure any man with a daughter dreams of!" Gorgeously shot by Shu G. Momose (whose work had previously appeared in "Tokyo Gore Police") and with an amusing/upbeat score by Kou Nakagawa (ditto) and Blood-Stained Fellow, "Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl" is a treat for both the eyes and ears; indeed, practically every single image manages to impress! Whether you see this film for its remarkable FX, amazing story line or just to marvel at how truly adorable Ms. Kawamura is in the lead, I guarantee that you will not soon forget this ride. Yoshihiro Nishimura is now a very solid 4 for 4 with me, so much so that I am ready to rent out 2009's "RoboGeisha" and 2010's "Mutant Girls Squad." Sorry, Herschell, but these films from modern-day Japan make your 1963 "Blood Feast" seem like very weak green tea indeed!

It appears that some people don't like or don't get this genre. This movie was SO over the top and SO wildly improbable and inappropriate that I just relished every-single-second of it. It sparked a new interest in the over the top Asian gore-comedy for me. This one almost reminded me of a mash-up of Kill Bill with the Power Rangers.If you are looking for serious and gory Asian Horror, stick with Takashi Miike and the likes. This move (and others like it that I have since watched) is pure camp and fun. The lead character is just cute as a button, and her actions throughout the film are nicely juxtaposed with her looks. Sweet girl...blood swords... I'm actually planning on buying this for my collection.

When I was in elementary school and couldn't find someone to play with at recess, I use to traipse around the edges of the playground in loop after loop, making up epic superhero narratives in my mind with less logic and more epicness than even my eight-year-old self could possibly take seriously. I dreamed up boots with spikes so deep they caused wells of lava to burst from under my feet with every step they take, battles with the devil which ultimately lead to me turning the World Trade Center into a giant cross to dispel him (this was before 9/11. Hell, this was before I knew what those iconic buildings even were), end of the world demonic armies attempting to take the playground hostage before I repelled them using my endless lines of secret tunnels under the basketball courts to hide everyone away to safety... anyway, they were great times, but as I said, even when I was eight I'd come up with this stuff and think to myself, "But nobody would ever actually like this stuff but me." Well, if you take that imagination, add geysers of blood, ridiculous sexual material, and blatant racism, you get something closely resembling Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl.What's to explain, plotwise? A young Japanese high school kid gets forced into a battle between two controlling girls, one who happens to be a vampire and the other who happens to be the son of the Japanese progeny of Dr. Frankenstein. Really, that story is all that fills an hour and a half. It's just, how you get from frame one (Frankenstein Girl deciding to bully the kid into being her boyfriend) to the end (Boyfriend declares his allegiance and the lesser girl loses) basically involves... a lot. A lot of what, you ask? Just that. A lot. I can't even call what was on-screen surreal, because it was so blatant. But I can't say it makes sense, because nobody, from the filmmakers to the audience, is there for it to make sense. It's just a straight-up splatstick comedy of such bluntness and directness that there's really nothing you can do but sit there and let it happen to you. Sure, people in the theatre laughed, but not hysterically. For the most part there was just nothing the audience could do because there's no real room in this movie for cogent thought. They kill that idea before the opening credit sequence begins.However, could you necessarily say this movie is bad? After all, it's not technically like any other movie I've ever seen (still makes more sense than Executive Koala; still has better graphics and more care than Killer Drag Queens on Dope). It doesn't pretend to be anything else. It doesn't have terrible acting (though who could act in a movie like this, where the dialog is basically "You are my boyfriend now." "What?" "Good bye." and screaming). The special effects aren't stellar but you get what is going on. It's just, in the end, you still kinda wonder how the action got from someone's head through all of the hoops of film-making to end up on screen without someone in the process saying, "This is much too ridiculous, I get the joke but come on!" And yet on the other hand, that's exactly what I appreciate about the Japanese--more so than any other film industry, the Japanese are willing to throw the most ridiculous material right up on screen, mostly because when it comes down to it, they know those crazy American will eat it up once it comes out on DVD, mainly because the Americans can be comfortable with it because they figure it's experienced through the filter of the Japanese. Once again I'm pretty much sure that these two cultures are merely funhouse mirrors reflecting each other, and Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl is the type of image we occasionally get.--PolarisDiB