Please don't spend money on this.

The performances transcend the film's tropes, grounding it in characters that feel more complete than this subgenre often produces.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

Slaughterhouse (1987) ** (out of 4) Lester Bacon (Don Barrett) owned a slaughterhouse, which was pretty much put out of business after he refused to move forward with the times. Now a former worker is trying to take his property so Lester decides to send his obese and mentally retarded son Buddy (Joe B. Barton) out for revenge.Writer-director Rick Roessler only made one film in his career and this here was it. SLAUGHTERHOUSE is your average slasher film that was way too common during this era. For the most part fans of the genre will probably be mildly entertained by the film but there's no question that it really doesn't feature anything fresh or original. The entire slaughterhouse stuff appears to have been influenced by THE Texas CHAIN SAW MASSACRE and the rest is your typical Friday THE 13TH stuff.There's really not too much plot here as those who harmed the owner, a bunch of cops, some teenagers and other find themselves at the old slaughterhouse where Buddy does them all in. The murder scenes are certainly the highlight of the picture and while none of them come close to the work of someone like Tom Savini, they're at least good enough for this type of low-budget movie. There's quite a bit of gore splashed around, which of course will please horror fans.Performances are pretty much what you'd expect from a film like this. They're really no better or worse than your average slasher. For the most part Barton is good in his role as the killer and he's at least entertaining enough. The biggest problem with the film is that the pacing is rather slow and the 85-minute running time really drags at spots. The fact that there's nothing original or fresh doesn't help matters either.

Whilst I don't consider Slaughterhouse vintage slasher fare, it is a bright and breezy one that leans heavily on its comedic tone. The killers pig squeals are funny rather than frightening. The mixing of comedy and horror can be tricky to pull off, but it just about stayed black enough to work here. The opening shots of pigs being slaughtered were darkly humorous and I particularly liked the excessive ketchup on chips scene.I liked all of the characters and even wanted to see more of their teenage tomfoolery. In critique it does all feel rather lightweight with not much content. Settings such as the dance aren't exploited as they could have been. In particular more could have been made of the deaths, especially those towards the end. Whilst some of them were surprisingly nasty, they were all fleeting and could have been extended to add to the black humour. There weren't really any scares to be had, despite some enjoyably atmospheric eerie music.I would also have liked to have seen an added chase scene and a bit more thrust towards the climax. I did enjoy the freeze frame ending but it could have done with a bit more energy immediately before getting there, as it was slightly anticlimactic. Overall Slaughterhouse offers a slight, but fun time for 1980's slasher aficionados.

Typical '80s slasher flick, with some authority figures threatening to shut down a slaughterhouse and so the owner gets his pig-like son to kill anyone who trespasses. The scenes of the inner workings of the place bring to mind how factory farming has replaced these local institutions. Unlike most slashers of the era, "Slaughterhouse" contains no sex or nudity. One thing that caught my eye was that the sheriff's secretary was almost a dead ringer for Edith Bunker. I figure that Archie would say that people in slasher movies deserve what happens to them because they act like hippies.Anyway, it's pretty fun to watch, just as long as you don't expect anything special.

I don't know how this one slipped by, because it would have to be one of the better cheesy slashers of 80s. Quite a cult item, which obviously takes influence from Tobe Hooper's genre setter 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre', with its eccentrically dark humorous streak making it so endearingly warped like that found in 'Motel Hell' and Hooper's sequel 'The Texas chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)'. What a nice combination. Now what really works in its favour, is there's an actual plot hanging off the meat hook than just focusing on a bunch of rowdy teens (which this film does have) being pointlessly slaughtered (and it does happen). Hell the format isn't anything original, but manages to feel slightly fresh with it rancid slasher conventions and keeps things moving with always something amusing happening. What is a little disappointing though, with a title like that is the lack of gore, as the most sickening (or yummy) scene can be found in the opening shots (take a lesson in the trade) of pigs going through the gruelling slaughterhouse procedures. Nice fresh cuts. I found the whole experience more so goofy than anything else. Buddy (the obese, snorting and meat-clever donning killer) seems to be played for laughs. He sure knows how to cut someone up, and leave a mark. The script has its basic quips, but it sure loved to use pigs as it main talking point. It can get pun-overload. Death scenes are well done, with one or two creative efforts. The final set-up you see coming, but how it actually finishes only shocks with a depressingly ominous, but sudden conclusion. Director Rick Roessler (his one and only film) does a modest job, elevating some suspense, sticking in with energy, creating few moments of atmosphere and well-placed jarring sound effects. He knows how to keep it busy (or is it the quick-laced editing), as there's something to gain your interest. Standard humour to grisly violence and an odd reference here or there. Having two eccentrically odd killers couldn't do it any harm either. Don Barrett was a treat as the old coot Les Bacon and Joe Barton dominates as his fat, mentally challenged son Buddy who expresses himself through pig noises. Like you do. The rest of the cast are acceptable with a solid Sherry Leigh and William Houck. Jeff Wright and Donna Stevens have enjoyable roles too. Oh and I almost forgot. What's the deal with the majority of 80s horror films plugging some crappy band ('Vantage Point' get there foot in) and the soundtrack is a whole lot of noise. Random and at times strange cues.