the audience applauded

Am i the only one who thinks........Average?

The thing I enjoyed most about the film is the fact that it doesn't shy away from being a super-sized-cliche;

Blistering performances.

Every film should have a drinking game. It's the law.For this film - and possibly (given what I have seen of his other works,)all of Neil Johnson's movies - what you need are some very honest people and a LOT of drink. These are the rules:Every two minutes pause the film and ask, "Has anyone got any idea at all what is going on?" and if no one can honestly come up with ANY rational explanation for the previous scene then everyone takes a shot. The beauty of this game is that after twenty minutes when everyone is paralytically drunk the thing might actually start to make some sense.I can think of no other way of making the idea of watching this a good idea.The alternative game is taking a shot every time the camera does that slight reframing of a spaceship in flight thing that they used to do a lot in Battlestar Galactica.

I literally just create an account to warn everyone that this sh*t (can't even call it a movie) WASTED an hour of my life. This sh*t is the worst decision you will ever made, worse than missing the birth of your first kid, worse than EVERYTHING. This is probably the worst thing you will ever see.I have to give props to the first few minutes, because it is the only thing that keeps me watching until the end cause I was hoping this leads to something spectacular (never mind the "acting" and all those stuff), but really nothing.NOTHING. C G I was good if this is for some high school project or something, but really how can anyone decided to produce a movie like this?

It was a porno right? I mean it must have been... what with the obvious innuendo twist on Jupiter Ascending (not heard it referred to as a "starship" before but whatever), much like the Flesh gordon take on Flash Gordon, the crappy acting, non existent plot. meaningless dialogue and the dodgy looking women displaying more make up than a Debenhams cosmetic counter and obvious low budget.The narration started off quite well; thought it was going to have a Red Dwarf theme initially. Then it went a bit Doctor Whoish, which didn't bode well and by the time the introductory narration finished I had not only lost the plot but also the will to live.Anyway, things perked up a bit when this fairly fit looking blonde rucked up. Here we go, I thought; crappy intro- check, crappy acting - check. About time for the blond to turn around to one of the guys and come up with some cheesy line like "Is that a "starship" in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me" before getting her kit off and some raunchy action. Boy was I disappointed. Where were all the sex scenes for fecks sake? Did they just forget to put them in or what? Veerrry disappointing.

This movie screams 'Student film project', except that most student film projects have a concept of what they are trying to do.So you have some passable space scenes between an incomprehensible plot. There's apparently two factions of humanity, one some weird empire and the other a weird space religion based on abusing women so they all hate men. Or something.And apparently the evil space empire entrusts their best weapon to the son of a political dissident.So what we have are excuses for space battle scenes that are probably the only somewhat good thing in this movie. The acting is dreadful.