It is a performances centric movie

It's fun, it's light, [but] it has a hard time when its tries to get heavy.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

I love horror movies that have a lot of mystery in them. But that doesn't mean you can have an entirely unexplained plot that doesn't wrap itself up in any way. This movie didn't answer any of the questions it presented, although it did seem like the director was trying to hint at what might be going on.There were no scares. They built up to scares with high intensity moments and then never delivered. Now, Lordi does say that he had to tone down the movie dramatically because of his financiers. That means you should have released a theatrical version and a director's cut. We are stuck with the toned down version of the movie that obviously removed the explanations and the scares.The fact that nothing was explained and all the scares had been removed demotes this movie to 2 stars.

First off all I will have to start off by saying that I am not a fan of Lordi, neither music nor theatrical appearance. Secondly, I am a huge fan of the horror genre with all its subgenres. I picked up "Dark Floors" from Amazon after having read through the synopsis of the movie, thinking that it actually did sound like an interesting enough thing, and not really caring that this is the official 'Lordi motion picture'.The story in "Dark Floors" is about single father Ben whose autistic daughter Sarah is in a hospital for treatments, but getting no improvement or much help from the staff, Ben decides to pull Sarah from the hospital and take her elsewhere. But as they step into the elevator, they and all inside the elevator find themselves stepping out into an abandoned labyrinth of hospital corridors as the door opens up. Scattered along are the mutilated corpses from the hospital, but horrifying creatures are stalking them, and a dark fate awaits them.Actually the storyline was quite good, and I enjoyed it. There was some really nice twists to the story that you hadn't predicted to come along, and there was a good continuity to the storyline. But most importantly, there was a really great atmosphere in the movie; a dark, brooding atmosphere with an impending sense of paranoia and doom. That really worked in favor of the movie.And another good thing about the movie was that there was zombies in it, and the make-up on the zombies was actually fairly good. Take some time to see the behind the scenes footage for some insight in the prosthetics and make-up.The actors and actresses in the movie were doing great jobs, so that really worked in favor of the movie, and I was surprised to see William Hope in a movie production like this.But then comes the bad thing about the movie; the band Lordi! It was the band members themselves that were posing as the menacing dark creatures in this twisted dimension that the protagonists found themselves in. And it was in their usual stage persona costumes that they were running around. So it was really, really hard to take it seriously for me. Why? Well, because I can't take a band seriously when they are dressed up in Halloween costumes during their performances (be it music or movie), and their costumes aren't really all that impressive.And another bad thing working against the enjoyment of the movie was the lack of lighting. A lot of the movie was shot in darkness or near-darkness so details to the hospital and the creatures was shrouded in shadows and left sporadic to behold. Which I personally find really annoying.In overall, the movie was a good attempt at a horror movie, but it was weighed heavily down by the band's stage persona costumes and the lack of lighting in many scenes. I am sure that fans of the band will love the movie, because it was actually a great enough movie in itself. I just approached it with no particular interest or love for the band, so I found it weighed down by certain things throughout the course of its 85 minutes running.

Look this is not that difficult to understand! I'll admit, I did read the posting that Lordi was a band and that they wear ridiculously silly monster costumes, and that the head goon (the completely un-terrifying monster in the garage (who looks more like a hamburger stand chef from the 70's than a monster) can control time etc. and the rest of the silly monsters hunt down loony Lordi's enemies; but even without that knowledge you can tell what's going on here. You can tell it's a fight of good v evil and that the girl in going through the fight several times (look at the two dead people who are huddled together in the hall and see a striking similarity to the nurse and dad. The one guy who knows what's going on is dead and keeps hanging around, the security guard died twice- yes that's probably him that's turned to dust in an earlier incarnation.Anyway, it's not a bad movie. I like the atmosphere and the scary- if you can really call them scary moments. But one thing the movie could benefit from is much less- MUCH LESS- air time for the silly monster band members. The only one they did right in the movie was the banshee, and by right I mean she was a ghost effect so you couldn't see completely how completely silly she looked. So, stick the band members in the shadows, up the scares (I mean they had no idea how to create a scare so instead, they just piled the corridors full of dead bodies), plus a little better acting and better lines (I mean some of the dialogue was so stupid and didn't even fit the scene) and you could have a movie worth seeing more than once.

"I want the red crayon, I want the red crayon". I want a coherent script and intelligent dialogue, but I don't go whining about it. By the time she said that for the 28th time, I just wanted someone to stick a red crayon up her ***.So they leave the elevator and… guess what. The nurse says "where is everybody?" The problem is that she says it a mere second after the elevator doors open. It's not exactly unusual to not see anyone in the corridors of a hospital the moment an elevator door opens on one of its floors. To make things worse, it wasn't even a "dark floor", at least not yet. So why was she telegraphing the plot to us in advance? Perhaps the director should have told her too keep her mouth shut and spit out her line a minute later, not straight away. Ts, ts, ts. Actors. A lot of them need everything drawn for them. They really are like parrots, all they can do is memorize lines, the rest has to be left to Lady Luck.A little later our motley crew of walking human movie stereotypes find a woman with her eyes gouged out. Then the black guard gets shot at. But what does the nurse do? She drones on about the girl's medication! That's kind of like being on a sinking ship but worrying whether the eggs you ate an hour earlier were fresh or not. Who wrote this crap???Minutes later, the first Lordi appears, unscary and silly-looking, in the best Finnish horror-film slapstick tradition. The businessman is under attack from the drummer. So what would YOU do to save a person from a drummer dressed as a cheap B-movie ogre in an elevator? Well, you hit him over the head with a fire extinguisher, naturally. I mean the man, not the drummer-monster. You think I'm kidding? Watch the movie.What is it anyway with old hobos and little girls in wheelchairs that makes them have a connection with the spiritual world, while the rest of us just tap in the dark? The movie is filled with clichés of this type, such as the annoying, whiny businessman stereotype. Why is he a businessman? Because he works for a corporation and we all know corporations are so very evil, especially the ones that make all that food that we eat, that keep us all from starving, and all those corporations that make medicines that cure us, and furniture that we buy and use in our homes. Corporations are so very evil and despicable, hence anyone in a suit and tie who works for one is an immoral, selfish moron. Isn't that what the Left-wing Manual For Spreading Retarded Propaganda In Movies says clearly in Chapter 3?Naturally, the girl's Dad, a confused, dull and not-too-bright sort-of hero, doesn't trust the businessman, and yet he leaves his daughter with him, all alone. Duh. But I did say he wasn't too bright. Perhaps the director molded Dad after himself? It's simply never a good idea to have a ghost go after the living, while yelling "aaaaaah". It's kind of old. I don't even think kids get scared by it anymore. The Red Crayon girl certainly didn't care. She seemed disinterested and detached, kind of like most of the viewers watching this malarkey. In fact, she looked downright depressed. I guess they need to hand out more chocolate to kids on bad-movie sets.An even worse idea is to get a monster that looks like the lead singer of that pop band Lordi. No, wait. Those clowns ARE Lordi. Oh, Lordy! So what exactly was the point of this inept little attempt at horror-film-making? The greedy, untalented, masked pseudo-metal dweebs could have simply made a 4-minute video clip for MTV like everybody else, instead of torturing us with this 80-minute drivel just so we could get to hear their awful kiddie song in the end-credits. I had no idea this junk was a Lordi project, or I would have left it sitting in that barely visited torrent.The conclusion of the movie is… Hang on. Which conclusion? This movie doesn't have an ending, unless you consider Lordi band members melting into tar an ending. If you consider the Red Crayon girl babbling incoherently as a conclusion, then it does have a conclusion. DF merely sets up a seen-it-all-before baloney mystery and then refuses to address it, even to hint at an inkling of clue of an explanation. The singer's bum-mask could write a script such as this, within a half-hour. In fact, something tells me it might have. This flick was written by dead matter, either way.The movie's best line: "When you were gone, I didn't understand what she said but she spoke clearly and didn't repeat herself." That makes a lot of sense. Kudos to the brains who came up with that one. Ed Wood is jealous. He is fuming.