It's a good bad... and worth a popcorn matinée. While it's easy to lament what could have been...

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

This movie feels like it was made purely to piss off people who want good shows

Oh my god! This is either a work of genius on the part of the director (seeing what he could put his actors through) or the work of a lunatic! He has made some truly amazing films in the past (Audition and 13 Assassins immediately spring to mind) and if you haven't seen these then you must.I know that with a Mikke movie, you are going to get a little weirdness but this was off the charts.I would put this next to 'Plan 9 From Outer Space' as a film you need to watch.So bad, it's good.But if you watch this and understand completely what it's about, could you let me know.

When I started watching, the only information I knew about it was the basic plot I read here, which seemed interesting, from an action movie point at least, and it had a 5.5, which wasn't that bad also. Boy, was I wrong. The story does make sense for the first 10 minutes or so. After that, it turns into an insufferable 1:30h+ of stupid dialogue, ridiculous characters, and nonsense scenes. I seriously can't pick one single good thing about it once it starts sinking.I managed to watch the whole movie, don't really know why, but at least I can write this review to warn others not to make the same error.You're probably thinking "It can't be that bad". And for those who are thinking that, this is my first review on this site, and I took the time to come and write it because it really is an awful movie.The worst part is that this could have been a good movie, if they didn't screw every single part of it. I even stopped to see if this was based of an anime or something, because that could justify some of the ridiculousness of it. Do yourself a favor and delete this movie from history, I've seen low budget shorts with more quality.Now I'll just go wash my eyes and pretend I've never seen this mess.

Talk about creative writing 101 zillion trillion!!! All out effort to truly entertain the good ol' fashion Super Creative Writing all the way and beyond, I was transfigured , transported into a transcendent being of out space proportions! I cannot believe this flix! You are going to be like 'No Way!' in a total fun way as you are led astray into the land of infinite imagination! Loved every second of it... I mean green puppet monsters and vampires about to duel for the right to rule earth! No way! I just said cause I felt it whilst watching this really coolx flix, though I don't think watching is what one does in a super creative experience such as this one! Never ever underestimate the Asian translation invasion in no way ever rule them out or anything! They are the greatest writers of all! I don't know if producers just give the artists a plop of money and walk away as it should be but Hollywood can and will never compare until these ungainly ugly lazy no good wastrel gross avarice artless producers walk away and let the wonder of art engender creative art! Oh yes would it be so nice to really have scripts like this precipitating from all parts of the world , this would would never ever be boring again! Ennui just died forever! This is better than any drug you can take and it really doesn't hurt so much when the unsuspecting pessimistic brain cells bounce back , it will be all good cause all of you and those stuffy brain cells will always love super creative writing coming out of the Asian Invasion, it is all good! Loving every second of it!

For those not experienced any of Takeshi Miike's previous work, you are going to be in for a bit of a door slamming in the face experience with this one. There's no denying that he can direct a movie (and he has made some excellent movies) but some of his most popular films have been more offbeat & comical like this.There's no point explaining the storyline as it's non-linear, intentionally a farce and practically irrelevant. Don't bother trying to intellectualise any of it either like one guy I overheard did as I left the cinema. It's just a farce, and makes no pretences to be otherwise.You'll either fall for its ludicrous charms in much the same way many do with Month Pythons' work, but it will leave many cold. The humour is quirky but often violent and cruel so won't suit all. Might even offend some sensibilities. It often bored me but others in the cinema were in hysterics. Lots of teenage boy level humour too.For those who lose patience with this, the only respite is that despite the silliness, you'll find at least something somewhere to laugh at.It's not by any means the director's best work. Not by a long shot. Still for fan boys they'll lap it up, for all else it will likely miss the mark even if doesn't do so on the screen.