Waste of time

One of my all time favorites.

Memorable, crazy movie

Excellent but underrated film

It's Nunploitation time as director Joseph Guzman is inspired by Tarantino's Grindhouse and comes up with this sleazy, cheesy, violence and titty fuelled revenge flick.Sister Sarah (Asun Ortega) is a nun taken by some gangsters forcibly drugged and taken into prostitution with the help of a corrupt clergy involved in drug trafficking.Sister Sarah gets a drug induced message from God that tells her to kill all the sinners and that exactly what she sets out to do. Her guns are small initially but the weapons get bigger and the church hire the gangsters to stop her leading to a showdown by the people who forcible raped her.Nude Nuns with Big Guns knows that with violence you also need plenty of gratuitous raw flesh, mammaries big and small, strippers, lesbian lovers and unsavoury rapists. This is exactly what it delivers.There is not much of a story, there are lots of lulls in the action as we take time out to see some more nudity and the bad guys are reprehensible but you know Sister Sarah will offer divine justice.

Like DEAR GOD NO!, NUDE NUNS WITH BIG GUNS is a wannabe grindhouse movie that supposedly taps in on the new-found public appetite for cheesy, trashy, violent exploitation films which hark back to the 1970s. I'm not sure there is really such an appetite, and if there is there won't be for long seeing how these films tend to be really, really terrible.The first thing I noticed about this film is that it's an amateur production throughout, with terrible technical qualities and a virtually non-existent; one of those films where it feels like they were making it up as they went along. The second thing I noticed is that the entire soundtrack rips off the music from PLANET TERROR, specifically the opening scene music playing while Rose McGowan is pole dancing.The majority of the film is padded out with needless unpleasantness, like a scene where an elderly nun is raped by a black muscle guy. The only point of such moments is to outrage the viewer, but they just feel stupid. There are a couple of shooting and gore scenes but this is far from the action thriller it would have you believe it is. Instead much of the running time is padded out with copious nudity and lesbian sex scenes involving skanky-looking characters. It's a horrible viewing experience.

I was instantly curious if there would be any nuns left to satisfy the title as they started the film shooting them all.We soon see the nude nuns as they are processing dope for the gang run by the Church. But, they don't last long either,I actually though this was a low budget Mexican thriller, but it was made right here in the USA.If you like lots of boobies and even more bullets, then this is your film. The ending suggests a sequel. lol.I imagine that the producers are playing off the success of Machete, but they fall far short.

There can only be two possible reasons for a film to bear the title Nude Nuns With Big Guns. One is that the person doing the naming suffers from some sort of severe mental illness - let us hope that this is not the case, for the film is not bad enough for me to wish that on someone. The other is that the makers are going for some sort of post-modern irony, a satirical commentary on audience taste, born out by a movie taking a gleeful delight in both revelling in and spoofing the elements summoned up in the title. Tarantino is good at this, so they tell me (I don't believe his publicity to the extent that he does, so my particular jury is still out on that one). The people behind Nude Nuns With Big Guns are not Tarantino.This film (which, let's be clear from the start, does indeed include both Nude Nuns and Big Guns) is professionally assembled. The camera is securely mounted on a tripod, scenes are well lit, shots are nicely composed, the film is in focus and the sound is clear. The acting is over the top, but it is supposed to be. There is lots of spurting blood. To that extent, all well and good.But the story and script let everything down. Where there should be a sly smirk underlying the events, there is clodhopping gracelessness and a complete absence of wit. Sadly, this film simply isn't very good.