The Calcium Kid

April. 30,2004      
Rating:
5.5
Trailer Synopsis Cast

When milkman Jimmy Connelly accidentally puts Britain's contender for the World title out of action, he is propelled from amateur boxer to the world stage and announced as the replacement contender for the championship fight.

Orlando Bloom as  Jimmy Connelly
Michael Peña as  Jose Mendez
Michael Lerner as  Artie Cohen
Billie Piper as  Angel
Omid Djalili as  Herbie Bush
Tamer Hassan as  Pete Wright
David Kelly as  Paddy O'Flannagan
Rafe Spall as  Stan Parlour
Ram John Holder as  Jamaican Barber
Tamzin Griffin as  Saucy Housewife

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Reviews

Aubrey Hackett
2004/04/30

While it is a pity that the story wasn't told with more visual finesse, this is trivial compared to our real-world problems. It takes a good movie to put that into perspective.

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Portia Hilton
2004/05/01

Blistering performances.

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Bumpy Chip
2004/05/02

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

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Edwin
2004/05/03

The storyline feels a little thin and moth-eaten in parts but this sequel is plenty of fun.

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Jackson Booth-Millard
2004/05/04

I had heard a little about this film when it was in cinemas, it was a sort of star vehicle for the rising star of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, but it was loathed by the critics. Basically this is a Mockumentary focusing on the rise to fame for English milkman turned boxer Jimmy Connelly (Orlando Bloom). He "accidently" knocks down the champion of the boxing club being a stand-in partner, this champion was due to face American boxing world champion Jose Mendez (Crash's Michael Peña). So sleazy boxing manager Herbie Bush (Omid Djalili) decides to pit this unknown milkman against the champ, and in preparation he starts training with Irish coach Paddy O'Flannagan (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory's David Kelly). Jimmy, or 'The Calcium Kid', just goes along with everything crook-like Bush wants, and there is obviously when everything goes low, but the big fight does come around, and I can't be bothered to remember the result. Also starring Kidulthood's Rafe Spall (Timothy's son) as Stan Parlour, Tamer Hassan as Pete Wright, Godzilla's Michael Lerner as Artie Cohen, Ronni Ancona as Pat Connelly, Billie Piper as Angel, Green Wing's Mark Heap as Sebastian Gore-Brown, Peter Serafinowicz as Dave King, Frank Bruno and Chris Eubank. Think of it as the British equivalent of Rocky, the only difference being that this film bores you to death, you don't care about the lead character or supporting, there are no good jokes, and it is predictable and uninteresting story. It is one of the most boring films I have ever seen, even though I stuck with it, it is still one of those films I wish I'd turned off, and a true failure of a sports comedy. Poor!

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Angel_of_Darkness87
2004/05/05

This movie should so be available in America. My dear friend Sarah, who lives in Wales, sent me this DVD. I thought it was one of Orlando's Best movies and yes I've seen them all (except Elizabethtown). Because he doesn't have to be so serious all the time. This is a "fun" movie.Jimmy is a sweetheart, and a completely lovable character. His mate Stan is a bit on the dumb side, but I suppose everyone needs a dumb friend to make them look smarter. Herbie Bush, is a stereotypical scum bag. Jose Mendez needs to get off the "Choosen One" trip. And the creepy stalker chick should have been hit by a bus.I thought it was hilarious, a bit on the sad side in some parts. So I don't know why the film wasn't released in the US.

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Robert Clarke
2004/05/06

Filmed in the style of a documentary, this British comedy is mildly enjoyable, but doesn't really do enough to leave you craving any more that it delivers.Orlando Bloom is Jimmy Connelly, a boxing mad Milkman who trains at the same London Gym as the British middle weight champion - who is due to fight the American champion in a matter of weeks.While sparring, Champ lands a punch onto Jimmys head which breaks his hand, leaving his Arthur Daley type manager to look for a replacement for the fight to save his "reputation" Who steps in??....You guessed it!!, the "Calcium Kid" is invented and Jimmy gets a lot more than he bargained for!! Not bad of its kind, but its certainly no "Mike Bassett England Manager" - you can't help but feel this film only made it to cinemas due to lead Blooms new found stardom.

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anniescribe
2004/05/07

My sister managed to track down a Region 1 copy of "The Calcium Kid" for me on DVD.I thought it was a good little movie. It turned out to be MUCH better than I thought it would be; I figured it'd be a comedy and some good laughs, but it had some serious quality to it too, which was deftly executed by the writers, director, and the actors. Anyone who says Bloom isn't a good or even competent actor needs to watch this film, honestly; he lands on the scale talent-wise down below Johnny Depp, admittedly, but he's still as good or better than a lot of "stars" I see on the big screen. (Give me an actor any day of the week over a star, has always been my motto.I've always in the past liked actors hardly anyone knew.) The story is pretty simple (proving yet again, as I beat my head on my keyboard trying to come up with a good book idea, the best stories have the least bullshit to them). Jimmy Connelly is a milk deliveryman with a dairy. This guy loves milk not just in his job, but in his real life, and has imbibed so much over the course of his life that his bones are hard as granite.For exercise, Jimmy likes to spar in the boxing ring and answers an ad at a neighborhood gym to help English middleweight hopeful Pete Wright train for his upcoming match with Mexican-American middleweight world champ Jose Mendez in London. Wright breaks the bones in his hand on Jimmy's head and Pete's manager, Herbie Bush, is forced to find someone to step into the ring in only 7 days for the heavily-televised match. He picks Jimmy, who has no sports career, and the press quickly picks up on the new kid in the "David and Goliath" vein of storytelling.Without giving too much away, I'll just say Jimmy encounters obstacles along the way, both humorous and poignantly sad. He starts the movie as a wide-eyed, cheerfully simple fellow and ends it pretty much the same way, but does grow as a character. There are several points where Bloom's expressive facial features - eyes, mouth, eyebrows - tell a lot more than even what Jimmy is saying, and it seems he takes direction very well from whomever is behind the camera. Jimmy's no brain trust, but when push comes to shove, he's smarter than he looks, at least in common sense.The movie is filmed "mockumentary" style - the "director" is setting out to document Pete Wright's training a week before the match, as well as his daily life and background, but switches to Jimmy's story once he steps into Pete's place. The use of cutaway shots and still frames is a bit odd at first, but you get used to them, and it works; ditto with the soundtrack choices.There were several supporting characters I liked a lot, in addition to Jimmy. His manager, Herbie Bush (forgive me, I don't have all the actors' names in front of me as I write, so I'm going to refer to the character names), is a guy looking to make a buck any way he can, and usually comes off as strictly an opportunist lout. He's not really a bad guy, though - he thinks fast on his feet and talks too much, but his schemes just don't usually work out the way he envisions.Probably the characters I'll remember the most, though, are the crazy neighbor girl, Margaret, and Jimmy's pal Stan. Margaret reminds me of those celebrity stalkers you read about, who just adores Jimmy. She is not, however, the woman you want to see him with at the end of the day. Stan is a comfortably slovenly overweight fellow who sticks by Jimmy when things go bad, and ends up helping him train in odd ways. Another character I liked was Paddy, Jimmy's trainer, who keeps calling him the wrong name, LOL. ("You mad old Irish bastard! My name's NOT Johnny! It's Jimmy!")All in all, I will definitely watch it again. I get excited by good storytelling, as a writer, because it inspires me in small ways.

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