Just perfect...

Don't listen to the negative reviews

I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.

I cannot think of one single thing that I would change about this film. The acting is incomparable, the directing deft, and the writing poignantly brilliant.

SyFy teams up with Roger Corman to bring us a TV14 bikini/ cleavage cheese fest. Michael Madsen is the smart guy in the movie. On an island in Hawaii tourists, criminals, a movie set, botanists, and Madsen fight an impossible combination of a creature who is native to the Amazon.The snake is computer generated and as bad as the acting. Kills are finalized with a blood mist spray. The sound track was good as it was something I would expect from "Pulp Fiction."Great film for campy film lovers.

You know the story, and it doesn't matter all that much if you don't. Tacky effects, great scenery - Hawaii gorgeous as always, hot actresses and actors with serviceable acting ability and that guy who was in that thing that one time many years ago.The only thing that keeps this from being an actual Sedaris movie is the absence of Andy or his son from the producer list and the lack of nudity since this is basic cable broadcast. The production companies should make these shows in dual-format for Syfy (who tragically lost their spell checker some years ago) and for Showtime or Cinemax.The effects are really bad, I mean REALLY bad but the acting is OK and movies like this keep the majority of Hollywood in business, plus at least these actors got a trip to Hawaii, so I will give it a thumbs-up. Check it out.

OK, I'll try to sum it up. First, a Captain Ahab wannabe scientist discovers a half piranha, half anaconda in Hawaii. He gets one of its eggs and escapes, only to be kidnapped by some criminals whose activities are unexplained. Meanwhile, a low-budget film crew is shooting a lousy horror movie, though it can't be as terrible as this movie. The criminals kidnap part of the film crew to hold them for ransom, but they run into the piranhaconda, and then a second piranhaconda shows up for good measure. It's never really explained how a piranha-anaconda could create a hybrid breed, and it's also never explained how it wound up in Hawaii, which is not native to either creature. The film stars Michael Madsen as the mad scientist/hostage and Rachel Hunter as the diva star of the terrible movie, both obviously in it for an easy paycheck. It was produced by none other than Roger Coreman, who made several terrible science fiction films in the 1950's. Here, he proves that he hasn't lost his touch- he can still make terrible science fiction movies. In place of unconvincing zipper-backed monsters, we have unconvincing computer animated monsters, complete with laughable death scenes where even the victims seem to have difficulty keeping straight faces. The Sci Fi Channel strikes again, strikes out that is.

There seem to be several plots and sub plots in this movie. 1) Professor Lovegrove is trying to find the snake that killed his Dad and scarf up the snake's egg. For what purpose? What else? To sell and make MONEY. As all scientists do when they discover some "creature". You will feel at home with the great Michael Madsen as the scientist as he as played in many films, and is a bit under utilized here.2) Local bandits capture visiting Americans for cash dollars in ransom money.3) An LA film director is making a horror film with his cast and crew. Fortunately, his casting director hired some very hot babes, like Rachel Hunter, Shandi Finnessey, Teri Ivens, and Christina DeRosa.4) A piranhaconda intent on wrapping her body around everyone in sight and killing them and eating them, writhes around the island.The only thing that drags this movie down is the CGI piranahconda. B films were better in the 50's and 60's when you only glimpsed at the crab monster or gorilla in a diving helmet.The head bad guy reminds me of the bad guy in Superman? I don't know his name, as I did not Tivo the movie, and am relying on IMDb. Sadly, some filmmakers don't include practicals: head shots of everyone. And, IMDb, could list cast members as bad guys, surfer girl, ditzy blonde, as we often don't remember their names if they are even mentioned in the movie.Back to our story: the piranahconda is killing people, the bad guys hold a few cast as hostages, Prof. Lovegrove is hot for the egg, and Talia is lounging on the beach. The film inter cuts between all the plots, as it heads for the exciting conclusion.As I have said before, thanks to Roger Corman helping these young filmmakers, and he is Executive Producer on this one. Remember it is up to the writer, director and cast to create good films. Roger is at least providing the funding for their efforts.So you will have to see the movie to find out how hostage takers, film crews, a greedy scientist, a curly blonde beach lounger, and killer reptiles all interact. It is worth a view.