Touches You

everything you have heard about this movie is true.

Yo, there's no way for me to review this film without saying, take your *insert ethnicity + "ass" here* to see this film,like now. You have to see it in order to know what you're really messing with.

This is a must-see and one of the best documentaries - and films - of this year.

This movie is fascinating, so creative. I don't want to review it or summarize it per se - it's excellent - but I wanted to point out how the conflict of the story is the militarization of "toys" to create remote controlled weapons. The toys that get made, or more correctly, intelligent drones predict in perhaps a satirical way on what has actually happened with modern warfare. Even how it appears like a "video game" in certain scenes.It's also very funny in what I call "smart-stupid" whereas the writing appears kind of dumb, but is actually very funny and well written in a dry way. I loved it as a kid for the war robots as I called them, I appreciate it more now.P.S. Who has sustained a similar level of fame for so long as LL Cool J???

I so wanted to like this film. Following the death of a Robin Williams I was rewatching his films and decided to watch some that I'd previously missed hence my son and I settled down to watch Toys. The film is terrible - it's Willie Wonka on drugs. The story is terrible, the acting is terrible. They use an English actor (Michael Gambon) to play the part of a US general and then create a reason as to why he is incapable of speaking with an American accent - just get an American actor instead. Jamie Foxx is in the film but I bet it's not on his CV! LL Cool J also appears - the pinnacle of his career no doubt. Robin Williams was a fantastic actor but during his life he made some bad choices when it came to the movies he appeared in - this must surely be one of them.

The BAD news: the story really 'goes off the boil' after about forty five minutes and the second half of the films drags like an anvil being hauled over rocky terrain. Michael Gambon, as the 'baddie', also gives what must be a career-worst movie performance and his character is more sleep-inducing than threatening. Williams also puts in what is one of his irritating/nerve-grating performances and his one-liners fly off at such speed that they can hardly be understood (and when you have really strained yourself enough to hear one, you rapidly conclude that it was not worth the effort in any case).The GOOD news: this film is an absolute visual treat. I remember being totally blown away when I saw this upon release in 1992 on the big screen and (despite having seen it quite a few times on the small screen subsequently) would go virtually any distance to see it in that format again. The factory production lines, the 'house' Williams and his sister live in and, in particular, the countryside around the toy factory (and Williams' father's 'grave site') are just stunning visual statements and ones you can never tire of. Secondly, the musical accompaniment is very good (even if not always perhaps in line with the development of the plot) and, in the case of 'The Mirror Song', is accompanied by a really neat video backdrop. Thirdly, Joan Cusack gives a gloriously wacky performance as Williams' sister which easily outshines him and really embodies the mad-cap, zany atmosphere I am sure the script writers and director had in mind (and which Gambon and Williams are light years away from achieving to any degree at all).Overall, then, a real mixed bag but, in my view, certainly a film worth seeing at least once and one which, with two different male leads and better script work, could have become a real 'cult' film (a la 'Tron') (and which, incidentally, has become even more interesting in plot terms when you consider the use of drones (pilotless aircraft) as a regular feature now of warfare in the 'war on terror'!)

What is this? Is it a speech about the madness of the military America against all the innocent imagination and the childish spirit? Is it a kids' movie with sexual innuendos all the way?! Is it unidentifiable work? Well, it's hard to watch before being hard to define !(Barry Levinson) here co-wrote, produced, and directed what he dreamed of making for whole 10 years. But let's review what *really* happened; He wanted to go Hollywood yet by his own rules, so the flashy movie must have a substance. He glided into not big budget. And he was unfortunately in his worst artistic condition too!The outcome of that was so bad on all the levels. As a political satire it's pathetic. As a comedy it's an outrageous flop; giving the feeling that it is a typical French comedy ! And as an action (Levinson) did a perfect job to destroy everything, starting with the ugly narrow cadres, to the hideous slow-motion, the crappy war toys, the primitive special effects, ending with that embarrassing climactic battle. In brief (Levinson) didn't "liven" a thing, mastering one strangled movie! The script is dreamy, however the treatment killed it utterly. Take for instance the relationship between the lead and his girl. (Robin Wright) did nothing but laughing at the lead's jokes all the time like an idiot, then at one very early – very serious – point she judges him as if he's her long time lover !! Did you notice how she didn't add anything to the conflict later ?! Another matter; so the alleged sister is a toy, what's the point of that ? Another matter; originally who was leaking the info from the factory? These many "matters" lessen my respect to (Levinson) the writer once of (...And Justice for All) and (Sleepers). On a deeper level why the fantasy was that disappointed? as we were just watching things that happen in some factor (!!). Otherwise, it could have enriched the movie's personality to be more vivid and lovable. Actually the reason why this was deadly poor remains at 3 questions : why it wasn't made as a frank fantasy? Or a musical ? Or a cartoon ? I bet with being the 3 together, having a real funny material, it should have been more balanced and useful, because I was watching politics meeting Disney's lowest TV movie !Speaking about "funny", it has unfunny time to the max. The dialog isn't any good, and with the dark directing the whole thing turned into horrible. The moments in-between the serious talks diversified at making disgusting gags every time (vomit, fart jokes, someone shoots his own feet, head that goes off,…) that didn't entertain anyone. Considering his other movies, (Levinson) doesn't have a smart sense of humor (remember Envy, or Bandits?!). The man can't make pure comedies. Obviously he thinks too much, and when he wants us to smile, he chooses awful things ! (Robin Williams) made little effort to produce laughs. Most probably his talking scenes were something of his improvisation. Sure the have-not atmosphere with the movie's own confused personality made his role look like a trivial cameo among a sea of silly weirdness. (Joan Cusack) seemed scary let alone pointless. (Wright Penn) made a movie to regret it later (and if she wouldn't, THEN I WOULD FOR HER!). (Michael Gambon) isn't charismatic enough or droll enough to play that childish war maniac. Despite being the best of all, (LL. Cool. J) totally missed the funny touch of his character. Even the music didn't compensate, being another factor of bore. See, as a whole it is a new proof that there is something HUGLY wrong with the movies that are being written and directed by the same person !Save only few imaginative sets (Toys) earns its rank as one boring movie. I was wishing every minute to leave or change the channel. Too bad that I didn't have the luxury of pressing the fast-forward button!. The movie's intention, of the original tagline, that says "Laughter this time is a state of mind" didn't work. Simply the formula was unusual, yet surely uncorrected too. Accordingly that tagline seems eventually so pedant. In my viewpoints it failed at winning the kids, the eccentric kids, the grown-ups, the eccentric grown-ups; namely all. Unless good ol' Barry did it while having a turbid state of mind, or financial problems with it, then he must be an eccentric child and grown-up himself, delivering uninteresting "toys" for unbearable 2 hours. It succeeds only in being whether a black sneer at the foolish Hollywood Toys in general, or the worst satirical movie ever made. Damn. I can't forget the moment at the end in which the 2 war maniacs were saluting the toy soldiers; it's the top of this movie's naivety and poorness! Finally an advise : watch (Uncle Buckle-Up) instead. It's one of The A-Team's episodes, made 6 years earlier than (Toys), where the leads fought a gang by just toys. In comparison it's more meaningful. Otherwise; wait for a better remake !