Very best movie i ever watch

A Masterpiece!

I really wanted to like this movie. I feel terribly cynical trashing it, and that's why I'm giving it a middling 5. Actually, I'm giving it a 5 because there were some superb performances.

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

Bleached-blonde photographer Jenny McCarthy (as Rebecca Sommers) is happily hooked-up with hunky model Victor Webster (as Richard). On Hollywood Boulevard's "Walk of Fame", Ms. McCarthy has a tantrum. In a flashback, we see her catch Mr. Webster copulating with another person. McCarthy's nerdy musician friend Eddie Kaye Thomas (as John) goes to retrieve her cameras and urinates on Webster's couch. McCarthy's girlfriends, jive-talking Carmen Electra (as Michelle) and blonde joke Kam Heskin (as Carrie), help her find other sex partners...As a "Playboy" bunny and MTV personality, McCarthy was fine. Her propensity for potty humor reached full bloom (hopefully) with this piece of trash, which was directed by her (then) partner John Asher. They very effectively take away McCarthy's sex appeal. The once attractive Ms. Electra adds a likewise limp (supporting) performance. Although it does absolutely no good, considering the writing and direction, others in the cast and crew accomplish their tasks effectively. You'll want to have the "mute" and "fast forward" buttons handy for this garbage.** Dirty Love (1/05) John Asher ~ Jenny McCarthy, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Carmen Electra, Victor Webster

I rated this movie 9 out of 10. That's right. 9 out of 10. Why? It really made me laugh.Jenny McCarthy ridicules everything in this movie. Herself, her cast, stereotypes we all know, the photography business, love, women, men, fashion, movies, everything. Mostly, though, this movie makes fun of romantic comedies. This is a movie you should not take too serious, because it isn't. It's mostly just finger-pointing and laughing. You just have to "let it happen" as you watch it, and enjoy the hysteria and (self-)mockery. It really cracked me up a couple of times, especially at the end there was a joke I couldn't get over.Jenny McCarthy is way too intelligent to produce something like this with the intention of making it a serious romantic comedy. (Because those of you who've seen it: a shoe? Really?) She just wanted to laugh at romantic comedies and I think she did a superb job.

All of my instincts were screaming at me not to click this movie, even though it was free...but the little devil on my shoulder was telling me that I might stumble upon some little-known McCarthy-on-Electra soft- core pr0wn, and return to my friends, trophy in tow, a hero. I could already see the look of admiration on CraigMakk's face as he proclaimed me a true smut spelunker and discoverer of hidden gems. But you know what they say: "You dance with the devil, and he slips you a mickey and gives you the horns all night long." At least that's what my homeless friend that I pass every day on the way to work says. Anyway, within the first 30 seconds, I was already feeling my toe stepped on, my head swimming, and the tickle of a horn in an uncomfortable place. Please take note that in the following paragraphs, I won't "spoil" the ending, but I will talk about the various unfunny jokes and disgusting antics in the film. Besides, you can't "spoil" something that's already terrible, and plus I am writing this article in hopes that it will prevent you from ever watching this movie, or get you to join me in a survivor support group if you already have watched it. Guys like McCarthy because she's not afraid to act silly or laugh at herself, despite being really hot. Unfortunately, this time she badly misjudged the line between being silly and self-deprecating, and being crass and disgusting. Throughout this movie, she tries extremely hard to make you find her repulsive, including: having a fart contest with an old woman; catching projectile vomit in her breasts; engaging in weird sodomy with a fish; bleeding all over a supermarket floor; and annoyingly shrieking like a chimp with rabies...sadly, this list is not all-inclusive. The dialogue was ridiculous, almost everyone over- or under-acted (mostly over), and the jokes were either terribly corny or borderline-offensive--for instance, in one scene, McCarthy's character "stoops" to dating a stereotypical, caricature-like, mousy Jewish producer with a big nose, badly receding hairline, ugly jacket, and thick glasses in order to help her friend land a role; also, Electra's "wigger" character gets very tired very fast; I don't consider these types of jokes off-limits, but if you're going to do them, they should be witty and/or funny...instead, the big payoff we get for watching Electra act like a "hood rat" all movie is a guy from Sum41 asking her, "You know you're white, right?" And not only did McCarthy bomb as the lead actress in this movie...she also wrote it. In an hour and a half, she managed to shift my opinion of her as an entertainer 180 degrees. This movie did have 4 bright points: (1) Thomas was outstanding, convincingly playing a love-struck, patient, loyal, and funny friend (I wondered if he wrote his own dialogue); (2) Guillermo Díaz was also good, managing to overcome corny lines with a humorous delivery; (3) there is a single naked shot of McCarthy's wonderful breasts (although they're covered in throw-up...but at least we know it's fake); and (4) the film made me appreciate just how brilliant Bridesmaids was, and how many things could have been written, directed, and acted terribly about that concept. However, these small roses in the concrete do not smell nearly sweet enough to overcome the stench of urine pervading this movie. McCarthy must have pitched this movie naked, because I can't believe anyone agreed to make it. Steer clear.

This movie is like watching Jenny McCarthy pour a gallon of gasoline over herself and then light a match. Her most vicious and implacable enemy world couldn't have come up with anything that makes McCarthy look worse than what she's created here of her own volition. After Dirty Love, I'm surprised she ever got another job in Hollywood. I mean any job, even waitressing or cleaning out septic tanks. I'm never seen any film that tried so awesomely hard to be funny and still failed this horrifically. When I watched the movie Holocaust in high school, it had more laughs than this thing.McCarthy wrote this script and it was directed by her then-husband John Asher, which means Dirty Love is the single greatest argument for the banning of heterosexual marriage. Let the gays get hitched all they want, but if the union of opposite sex spouses can produce anything like this, it should be forbidden by both Man and God. If an illiterate hobo with no fingers wrote a screenplay with a pencil in his mouth and handed it to eyeless, lipless proctologist to film with a camera stuck in his ass, I'd rather watch that than see Dirty Love again. This thing is the Citizen Kane of suck.Rebecca (Jenny McCarthy) is a woman who thinks she has a perfect romance going with her model boyfriend Richard (Victor Webster). Then she walks in on him boffing another chick and has her life fall apart. There's a series of scenes that practically could have been written by a random word generator and the story ends with Rebecca making possibly the dumbest relationship decision any woman has ever made in the history of romantic comedy.I'm actually struggling to find the words that can express the full grotesqueness of this film. Carmen Electra plays a full blown "Wigger". There's a scene where McCarthy leaks at least a pint of blood from her vagina. Tall women are held up as universal objects of sexual ridicule. McCarthy molests her own boobs so harshly I'm surprised she didn't break an implant. The only moment in the entire production that bears the slightest resemblance to real human behavior involves a pawn broker. The camera-work on display here is as imaginative as an old episode of Romper Room. McCarthy spends most of the movie looking like she hasn't washed her hair in two weeks. No, that still doesn't come close.Let me try this. Rebecca has a long suffering guy friend named John (Eddie Kaye Thomas) who's always worshipped her in silence. John is supposed to be the "nice guy" Rebecca is meant to end up with after she runs an obstacle course of oddballs and a-holes. But the movie introduces John in such a way that you think he's the boyfriend of Carmen Electra's character and he and Rebecca don't have a scene together until the film is 1/3rd over. And while it's visually obvious why John has the hots for Rebecca, the only thing he has to offer is the sort of devotion those little purse dogs have to the debutantes who carried them around…and this story wants us to believe that is the nature of pure love!No, that's still not enough. Imagine someone stuffing a cactus up your anus while pouring two gallons of hot sauce down your throat. Think about getting a pelvic exam from a leper. Consider what it would be like to give your grandfather a handjob in front of all the kids you knew in 6th grade. Now try to conceive of something worse than all of that put together and you'll have some inkling of what Dirty Love is like.For Jenny McCarthy's sake, I sure hope there's no such thing as karma because what will have to happen to her to compensate for inflicting this film on the public would make The Human Centipede look like a trip to Disney World.