just watch it!

an ambitious but ultimately ineffective debut endeavor.

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

***SPOILERS*** Re-make of the 1980 horror flick "Terror Train" that has this US wrestling team on its way to Odessa in the Ukraine for a match who get kidnapped on this train run by the evil train conductor Vasyl, Vlentin Ganev, and his boss the zombie like and undernourished looking Dr. Velislava, Koyna Ruseva. As we or the members of the US wrestling team soon find out they the members of the wrestling team, in them being in perfect psychical condition, are candidates for Dr. Velislava's human organ project with them, against their will, being the ones who donate their human organs.That all leads to some of the most gory scenes in the film with the members of the wrestling team being man as well as woman-handled by Dr. Velislava's goons the mentally unbalanced & sadistic duet tag-team of Gregor & Vasily, Ivan Brenev & Nikolay Mutafchiev, as well as her clean-up or mop & sponge man Vlad aka "Big BoBo", Vladimir Valdimirov. It's the straight laced coach of the wrestling team who's motto is never have sex before a wrestling match Coach Harris, Todd Jensen, who gets chopped first! That's by giving into the emaciated looking Dr. Velislava's bathing beauty charms as well as being drugged by her so he can't see straight.****SPOILERS**** With the entire wrestling team kidnapped beaten and eventually chopped up and put into cold storage, for their human organs, it's the plucky Alex or Alexandra, Thora Birch, who finally puts her foot down and takes on Dr. Velislava and her goons single handedly. With all the blood and gore up until then the ending of the movie is even gorier as Alex gets to work by first giving Dr. Velislava a major hot foot as well as torching her mobile, on the train, secret laboratory. With Alex who's barley able to stand up, after the beating she went through, taking out the evil Doctor Velislava and her entire crew she's confronted by the back from the dead "Big BoBo" Vlad whom she had to have the help of a train locomotive to finish him off!

I would love to get inside the minds of anyone who rated this higher than a 2.Anyone who knows about how movies are made should know that even if a company buys a GOD AWFUL script.... they can always CHANGE it. Stanley Kubrick was known to write scripts as he filmed (The Shinning) so.... there is ABSOLUTELY no reason that this story should be this bad. The director can change the script for free. The producers can sit down and change the script, for free. Hell, even actors have thrown their two cents in and made GREAT changes to movies. You don't have to hire a writer to change a bad story into a good one.It's like, everyone on this film really liked it because, you cannot sit up here and tell me that NO ONE working this film had something bad to say about it.1. Scenes were too dark: I'll be 30 soon and I am FULLY embracing gore. Gimme a little light so I can see. I thought the disgusting dissections could have been good, but I could not see them! 2. Good idea, bad execution: Harvesting organs! Yes. On a train... uh. Torture before hand?? No thanks. Whats the point of that? Sooooo, I guess this movie is pointless.3.Wrestlers, not being able to defend themselves?? Well, if their wrestling match was any sign of their fighting skills, then I guess so. I was not intimidated by anyone on the team... The coach told one of them that he couldn't talk unless he won, and the chick lost too, so that's 1 out of 3 victories... I guess they did suck...4. Let's not try to escape... let's just run around like idiots... OKAY! How the hell did they make it into the woods with NO ONE really looking for them and still, one of them gets killed.5. Why was it gross sometimes, but not at other times? Like when harvesting organs they got blood and guts galore! But when a man takes an ax to the belly there is no blood or anything? Why?? So he could do his own stuns??6. No one, tries to help anyone, basically... How are you gonna kill the dude trying to rape you and then run off and leave the man in the cage when the other rapist sees you?? Why don't you follow your own lead and kill him, after you let the man out of the cage... LOGIC. Dude has his dick out, he's super vulnerable. On top of that, all this rape and implied rape is totally unnecessary, as were the characters who did the raping. They did not make the story better in any way.The list could go on so let me just say: This movie had absolutely NO logic. I finished it because I was WAITING AND WAITING FOR SOMEONE, ANYONE to man up! COME ON! It was like, dumb on top of dumb.There are somethings I expect... tripping while you run away, getting caught and locked up, but this was like crawling when you could easily run and putting on your own handcuffs. When you fall, get up and sprint it out, when you get caught, escape... This movie just surrendered.

Missing a train to their meet, a team of wrestlers from the US in Russia boards another train to get there only to wind up in the middle of a ring of organ traffickers using the train as a cover for their crimes and must find a way to get out alive.Surprisingly, this turned out to be quite an entertaining and enjoyable slasher effort. One of the best elements at work here is the extreme, bountiful gore on display which is quite a bit of fun as the blood flows through this quite easily. The nature of them being organ thieves makes for a great twist here with the body needing to be dismembered and sliced into in order to get at the special goods they require, and when the least painful method found in here is to take a bone-saw and slice through a chest cavity, there's a lot of really fun bloodletting on display which also helps out in other areas. The fact that the bloodletting requires plenty of stalking in order to capture the group makes for quite some fun times with the accidental discovery aboard the locked car, the search through the crowded cars and the abduction of each team member makes for some rather impressive moments here with this one taking on a lot of rather creepy scenes that aide along the bloodletting or in some cases actually getting it started. As well, the final half where they take the fight back to them and actually begin to score some success over the group is all sorts of action-packed fun and quite readily provides this with some exciting moments to really help this one quite well. There is some problems here, with the biggest being the complete and utter incredulity of the business they operate being this incognito for as long as it's rumored to be as it appears at numerous intervals to be a regular train service that they operate out of several cars along the way, and that tends to make for a very public sort of business that never really seems all that likely to be kept in the dark. Likewise, the fact that there's just no way to really find any kind of sympathy with them due to what they do to others makes the plea at the end where they reveal their true intentions all along quite awkward and lame, especially since there's little about what they're doing that is noble. As well, the fact that a group of collegiate-trained wrestlers would put up so little fight against the group makes for quite a rather far-fetched series of events due to the easy nature they're overpowered and rendered helpless, the exact opposite of what would supposed to happen to those kinds of people. Otherwise, this one is quite fun.Rated R: Extreme Graphic Violence, Graphic Language, Nudity, drug use and a brief rape scene.

It's not often that I'm able to sum up an entire film's plot effectively with only four words, but with this one it's easy: Hostel on a train. Writer/director Gideon Raff has taken the basic premise of Eli Roth's 2005 horror hit, in which a bunch of American teens in Eastern Europe are hacked to pieces by sadistic killers, and transplanted it to a Russian steam locomotive. The result is a mean spirited and gory movie that should satisfy most viewers' blood-lust, but it is also a thoroughly daft effort rendered laughable by plot-holes big enough to drive the film's massive locomotive through.American Beauty star Thora Birch plays Alex, one of a group of American college wrestlers taking part in an international inter-school competition in Russia (she doesn't look much like wrestler, but I still wouldn't mind having a tussle). When Alex and her friends miss their scheduled rail connection to Odessa (having sneaked out to visit a local nightclub), they are tricked into taking an alternative train—one which turns out to be a mobile base for an organ harvesting operation. The kids are captured one-by-one and torn apart for their useful bits until only Alex is left alive; but although things look grim for the plucky girl, trapped and outnumbered on the speeding train, she's not about to give in without a fight.Raff's direction is proficient, the cast all do a reasonable job, and the effects are suitably stomach churning, but the extremely silly plot leaves one asking far too many questions for which there no reasonable answers: How could such an elaborate illegal operation be feasible? Why do the kids happily hand over their passports to the train's' obviously untrustworthy staff? Can extremely delicate transplants be carried out on a moving train? How does Alex keep on moving after receiving several punches to the face that would have floored an elephant? Why remove the organs in a filthy, stinking, rusty carriage when they would need to be kept as clean as possible? As the film progresses, more and more awkward questions arise, undermining any sense of tension.Given the stupidity of the narrative, it should also come as no surprise to learn that the characters make some really dumb decisions that don't exactly help their situation, including accepting an invitation to a party in an unfamiliar part of a foreign city, believing everything total strangers tell them, never fighting back (even when they outnumber their attacker and are trained wrestlers), and dropping any decent weapons in favour of running away unarmed.The strange thing is, despite all of the impossibilities presented by the plot and the sheer idiocy of the film's teens, I actually had a good time with Train: the gore went a long way to keeping me entertained, being extremely vicious at times and easily topping the excesses of Roth's movie; there is quite a bit of general depravity, including an orgy in the nightclub, two of the bad guys taking time out to urinate on a victim, and even a spot of necro-buggery; the ending is hilarious, with the diminutive Birch going all Rambo and taking on all of the baddies single-handedly; and I probably shouldn't have, but I loved the the fact that the film was so unapologetically xenophobic, with the loathsome Russians taken to such a ridiculous level—easily reaching 11 on the Evilometer—that they became more amusing than frightening.For keeping me entertained despite its many flaws and a complete absence of originality, I give Train a reasonable 6 out of 10.