How sad is this?

A Major Disappointment

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

This film has it all. Stunning locations, gorgeous actors, fun story and lots of action. It's a combination of Hitchcock and Sturgis. It's a homage to Hollywood's Golden Age. Hepburn and Grant would have played the parts. Or Lombard and Gable. The story is absurd, but who cares. The two leads are so incredibly beautiful, so much fun to watch together that the story spins along its merry way and you don't think twice about it. Supporting cast is also wonderful. But the real star of this picture is Monaco. Not since Grace Kelly got married has the kingdom looked so pristine, so jewel-like. Only the French could have produced such a soufflé of delight as this film.

Throwing a maimed dove down a sand dune, then announcing "It won't fly", was not funny. Concussing a woman into unconsciousness multiple times with a metal pot, no matter how disgustingly she was behaving, was not funny. The premise? A 3-person "team" of French people make their money by breaking up the marriages of women too stupid to know they are actually unhappy. One of the team is a hulking, creepy, too- loud peeping-tom half-wit slob (the main character should have broken up HIS marriage) braying into the camera every other scene-- what in heaven's name are people finding entertaining about this dud?? The movie features a two very underweight (in more ways than one) French people who have absolutely no chemistry. I'd rather watch water boil. These two leads are incredibly, painfully, bony! When they embraced, they must have rattled. And the teeth! Good lord, the teeth. Though it was nice to see the ritzy interiors of the tony Monte Carlo hotels, but baby, that was it. Other than a few sunsets over the Riviera, this movie was complete waste of time. Silly, if not stupid. If only IMDb allowed us to award negative-stars. That's the only way this movie would see 10 of anything.

The Pitch: Breaking up is hard to do. Unless there's a €50,000 incentive, of course… The Review: Oxymoron is probably one of my favourite words in the English language. Not only for the fact that it sounds like a spot treatment for idiots, but that it also describes simply a contradiction in terms, for example "friendly fire" or "sweet sorrow". Some might argue that "romantic comedy" is also an oxymoron, yet movies over the years have successfully made light of one of life's most serious subjects. What has become the case over more recent years is that most makers of romantic comedies should probably be prosecuted under the Trade Descriptions Act – even in the last three years I've accompanied my wife to too many films with that description that were neither funny nor truly romantic.So what a pleasure it is to find that the romantic comedy isn't a lost art after all. And who better to do romance than the French? This, though, is a very Anglicised French take on the modern rom-com – rights have already been snapped up, and it's easy to guess who might fill roles in the English version. Much of the English perspective comes from the main female character, Juliette – she likes Wham records and Dirty Dancing, and has even shackled herself to Egg off of This Life (Andrew Lincoln). a model of British decorum and class (and maybe a sly comment on how the French see the British as lacking passion).So Romain Duris' Alex is tasked with bringing this relationship to an end, and there's a convenient ticking clock of a wedding at the end of the week. There are other stumbling blocks as well, including the reasons Alex has to take the job and Juliette's mysterious friend who turns up and throws several large spanners into the works. What this serves to do is to keep things moving along at a fair old rate, and also to keep the laughs coming. All the while, a believable relationship develops between Alex and Juliette, striking just the right balance between the comedic and romantic elements.There's bits of physical comedy, bits of slapstick and farce, Julie Ferrier as Alex's sister gets about 100 costume changes and through all that, there's a clear line of sight to the objective of getting the two leads together. All in all, this is as light as a small soufflé and about as deep, but it fulfills its remit admirably and should be recommended for those who like their romances with a dash of the funnies. Now to sit back and wait for that remake to be horribly ruined… Why see it at the cinema: Lots of good laughs here that are better shared, and also lots of wonderful French scenery that you can take in at the same time.The Score: 8/10

"Women in couples come in three categories: happy, knowingly unhappy, and unhappy without admitting it."Heartbreaker is a breezy French romantic comedy about a suave man travels about, being paid by wealthy people to break up relationships or engagements between women and the men that they don't love or who are undeserving. He's hired by parents, siblings, and friends to keep the women from making mistakes. With the help of his sister, brother-in-law, and the information they gather about their marks, they efficiently make the women fall for Alex, and in the process, make them realize that they don't love their partner. They only intervene if they see that the woman is truly unhappy, and they never act on the basis of race or nationality. Alex doesn't sleep with the women, it's all strictly business. That is (there's always a catch) he's hired to thwart an upcoming marriage that seems perfect from the outside, and meets a woman who becomes more than just another job.There's nothing particularly new or brilliant about Heartbreakers, but it's pleasant enough. It's amusing at times (mostly thanks to the comic relief of the sister and brother-in-law characters), and whoever wrote the script has a definite love for Dirty Dancing. The movie is referenced almost constantly, and there's even a spot-on recreation of a dance scene, near the end. So if you're a big fan of Dirty Dancing, the novelty of that should be a point in Heartbreaker's favor.Overall, this was an okay movie. There are much worse movies of the type, that's for sure.