Very disappointing...

Thanks for the memories!

Excellent, Without a doubt!!

Yo, there's no way for me to review this film without saying, take your *insert ethnicity + "ass" here* to see this film,like now. You have to see it in order to know what you're really messing with.

In Ancient Akkad, Mathayus grows up as the proud son of Ashur, a captain in the world-renowned military corps of Black Scorpions, first-rate bodyguards, most of which are sent to courts wide away. The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior is the sequel that nobody asked for to the 2002 suprisingly awesome Scorpion King that starred Dwayne Johnson and Michael Clarke Duncan and who do we get for the sequel? Randy Couture that's right, that man can barely act his way out of a paper bag except The Expendables Trilogy and in here? He is no different. (0/10)

I'm a big fan of the "Mummy" franchise. I'm the guy who actually liked "Tomb of the Dragon Emperor" and thought the first "Scorpion King" was a fast, fun film. So when I saw this prequel on Netflix (after seeing the third film in the store the other day), I figured I'd give it a go. I knew the basics- it was directed by Russel Mulcahy (who I quite like as a director, actually), it was direct to video (which is generally not a good thing), and I of course know that it is a "prequel of a prequel/spin-off of a sequel of a remake." Try saying that ten times, fast! I will start off with faint praise- this isn't as bad as it could have been. In fact, it has some moments that I quite liked, to be honest. But like many other sequels/prequels, particularly direct-to-video ones, it fell into one big flaw- it wasn't really needed, and they clearly didn't know what to do with it. As a fan of the first "Scorpion King", it seems obvious that a sequel should bridge the gap between it and "The Mummy Returns", and explain just how Mathayus went from being a championed hero of the people into being a fairly violent villain. This movie does not cover that.This film is a prequel of the first film (itself a prequel), adding an unnecessary and often confusing backstory that more than once causes continuity problems with the rest of the franchise. (A character speaks of seeing the pyramids, whereas the first film took place "before the pyramids", being an example)We start with a young Mathayus, who yearns to train to be a "Black Scorpion", famed warriors. He and his childhood friend Layla sneak into the training session. Layla disguises herself as a boy, as she yearns for adventure that women are often denied, but is soon found out by Sargon (Randy Couture), a ruthless leader who trains the Black Scorpions (I guess, I never really understood who Sargon was meant to be, asides from the villain). A fight breaks out, and young Mathayus helps Layla escape. The king witnesses Mathayus's natural talent as a fighter and demands that Mathayus become a Black Scorpion, despite his father's (a Black Scorpion himself) wishes.Soon after, his father is murdered by Sargon (via some strange magic spell), and Mathayus is sent out for training. Returning several years later (now played by Michael Copon), Mathayus at first serves as a Royal Guard to Sargon (who became king after murdering the past king), but is forced to work against him when Sargon tries to make him kill his own brother.Now, Mathayus, Layla and others who join them must devise a way to beat Sargon and stop his cruel rule over the lands.It's a very basic plot. And I will say, it isn't absolutely abysmal. There are some cool moments, such as a sequence where Mathayus and co. enter the Underworld seeking a sacred sword held by the goddess Astarte, and a scene that references "The Spear of Anubis" (the weapon that would later kill the Scorpion King Mathayus in "The Mummy Returns"), but all in all, it's a very clichéd plot, and the way the movie flows feels like it was written as a TV-pilot. There was more than one moment where I said to myself "Here's where the commercials go."And to be honest, if this WAS a TV-pilot, it would've been a lot better, and would've been more forgivable, as it flows like one. But that fact that it is meant to be an honest-to-god "movie-movie" makes it feel cheap and tacky.The acting is mixed beyond belief. Copon is actually pretty charming and isn't half bad as Mathayus, though he isn't a strong actor by any means. He's like Bruce Campbell in his earlier roles- bad actor, but a lot of charm. Karen David tries way too hard as Layla, the hot-yet-tomboyish female lead, and comes off as more annoying than fierce and fiery. Simon Quarterman as Ari, the Greek comic relief, is actually pretty decent, but the poor writing hurts him. And Randy Couture is just... bad. He doesn't act, he just broods and talks deeply and loudly. He was boring.Mulcahy's direction is OK, given the lower budget, but at times it felt too basic. Like his heart wasn't in it. The action wasn't particularly good. The CGI effects ranged from "acceptable" to "abysmal." It was all low quality in terms of production.But like I said, I've seen far worse direct-to-video films. I'd give this a 4 out of 10. If you liked the rest of the "Mummy" franchise, and can see it for free, give it a watch, but don't expect much of anything.

This is one of those movies that cries for your full attention; but this prequel to 2002's THE SCORPION KING is pitiful and the more you watch you realize this thing is just not going to get any better. The young warrior Mathayus(Michael Copon)witnesses his father's death at the hands of the evil and powerful King Sargon(Ultimate Fighting champ Randy Couture). Mathayus trains six years to become one of the King's elite body guards the Black Scorpions and all the while plots to avenge his father's death. Some real nice special effects, but the dialog is so ridiculous anything redeemable is buried in the sand. The exciting fight scenes are just not enough to carry a movie that seems to lumber on aimlessly.The cast includes: Simon Quarterman, Karen David, Tom Wu, Jeremy Crutchley and Natalie Becker.

I rented this as the producers surely intended solely to see Randy Couture. Maybe he'd be fine as a seldom speaking hero, but he made a awful villain here. I think most of the rest of the cast was snagged on their way back to the parking lot after failing at try-outs for a High School Musical sequel.Thought this would at least have some good fight scenes but the fighting was even worse than the CGI which was dreadful, Power Rangers or Buffy Vampire Slayer level stuff. Worst movie of this type I've seen. This isn't worth your money even if you can rent it from Redbox for $1.00