Six escaped convicts and their female hostage make a desperate run for the Mexican border, where they stumble across a lost treasure of untold wealth, and find certain death instead on the Arizona desert.
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Better Late Then Never
I really wanted to like this movie. I feel terribly cynical trashing it, and that's why I'm giving it a middling 5. Actually, I'm giving it a 5 because there were some superb performances.
A lot of perfectly good film show their cards early, establish a unique premise and let the audience explore a topic at a leisurely pace, without much in terms of surprise. this film is not one of those films.
Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.
While being transported through the Arizona desert in a van, six convicted prisoners escapes after a car accident. Their leader kills the security guard and they kidnap a female guard trying to reach the Mexican border. In their runaway, they find a gold medallion and later they reach the house of an old Apache, and they ask the direction to reach Mexico. The Apache tells them that in the opposite direction there is a hidden Spanish treasure. They decide to seek the gold and they stumble in an old ghost town, where the friendly population is formed by vampires and zombies and the local sheriff Drake is evil."Seven Mummies" has a flawed and messed screenplay, with many unexplained situations, such as what happens when the seven medallions are gathered together? What has happened with the locals when the survivors leave the bar? Who are the two guys that are carrying the coffin in the end? Why the sheriff turned to dust in the sunlight, and then he is apparently "restored" chasing the two guys? Many dialogs are terrible, and I laughed when Travis promises Lacy that they will have a future together. The sequence in the bar recalls the turning point in "From Dusk Till Dawn". But I have watched many movies worse than "7 Mummies" and IMDb Rating of 1.8 is unfair. I do not dare to recommend this movie, but also I found it funny and entertaining. My vote is five.Title (Brazil): "7 Múmias" ("7 Mummies")
A shame this is so bad really, because I like bad horror movies and actually rather liked the basic premise: Back when the Spanish were being generally unpleasant to natives in America, they enslaved the local populace and got them to mine all the gold out of the mountains and basically ended up with a wet dream's worth of gold. Overseeing the operation were seven Jesuit priests that vowed to protect to gold until the Spanish forces returned for it. They never did. Over the years they died and were mummified and buried with the gold by the remnants of the native population. Fast forward a few hundred years and a bus load of convicts being transferred escape with one of the guards as hostage (the only good thing about the film, the delectable Cerina Vincent). They bimble across the desert looking for the Mexican border, finding en route a mummified body buried in a dry river bed with a gold medallion on it; when they later find a mysterious Indian (the always reliable, although poorly cast in this case Danny Trejo) who spots the medallion, he tells them the legend. Naturally, having just crawled out of the desert and barely survived, they decide to go back and try to find the gold, ignoring the Indian who is now laughing manically at their decision. They find the town, and most of them die. It's the vast majority of components that are wrong with this film.The dialogue was too quiet, even the slightest incidental music or sound effect totally washed out the dialogue, so you had no idea what was being said most of the time.The music was atrocious and very very loud, a mixture of gangsta rap and ultra heavy thrash metal, totally inappropriate and made the dialogue situation even worse.It was shot predominantly in total darkness, so most of the time you could not only not hear what was going on, you couldn't see what was going on either, I imagine it would be like watching a group of people being stalked in a windowless warehouse by Carcass or Napalm Death.Now when they got to where the gold was buried, there was a wild west style town there, complete with an evil sheriff (Billy Drago! Yaay! Who actually turned out to be the prime antagonist, not the mummies of the title), lots of random grizzled 1860's type western folk and the obligatory bar/cathouse populated with extremely buxom young lovelies. The gang of convicts do not question this one bit, they are not remotely bothered by the fact they seem to have slid back in time 150 years or so. The explanation for this is either simply not in the film, or is very briefly covered in sub-audible dialogue, but I gathered from a review that some wild west era settlers arrived there, settled, found the gold and woke the mummies, who subsequently killed the entire town and the inhabitants are now cursed.The convicts are enjoying the bar when the inhabitants turn into undead (terrible effects, ghouls look just like normal people, just with some blue eyeliner, right?) and the prostitutes turn out to be vampires (WTF??) that dispatch a couple of the convicts right there and then.The remaining convicts run around in the dark, breaking into boarded up buildings for no apparent reason, but they do eventually encounter some mummies, and they turn out to be ninja, high speed kung fu combat mummies with a propensity for crazy jumping around - to be fair, this is actually a pretty good fight scene (what you can see of it in the almost pitch black).The weird thing is that since things went belly-up in the cat house when the ghouls revealed what they were, the entire population of the town apart from the Sheriff has vanished. Eh? Why? No idea. The convicts spend the latter part of the film just being chased by the sheriff, the mummies don't even join the pursuit after their one fight scene.And the ending with two blokes and a coffin is completely random and meaningless, it's not anything to do with the rest of the movie as far as I can tell.I love crap movies, but please, this was dreadful in every conceivable way and it's not often I watch a lousy horror movie and think to myself "Wish I'd done something else, like maybe got some sleep".
i got this film cos I'm a fan of Billy drago, he was cool in it.I didn't like the montages of images as they were walking through the desert, and that horrible choice of music (ganster rap) i didn't catch anyones name, there were some plot holes in it, but that didn't really bother me all that much. i did like the actual mummies, and i liked the fight scenes with them in it, but i don't understand why is was so short, and what happened to them? they came, kicked back, and then vanished. i didn't catch what happened to, billy drago's two hench men either. i was left with lots of questions after this movie, but i still enjoyed watching it.but any fan of drago's should get this anyway.
Acting - Diabolical Plot, _ Diabolical Dialogue, - Diabolical Lighting - Diabolical, Continuity - you guessed it Diabolical.Need I go on?? How this ever made it straight to DVD is beyond me. It is jaw droppingly awful. I had to watch it all the way through just to see what new depths would be plummeted.The plot jumps around all over the place, for some reason all the "undead" just disappear out of the film at some point for reasons unknown. The lighting looks like its been done by some bloke with a torch (flashlight). I just haven't enough space to express how awful this was. I recommend that EVERYONE watches this film so that they can say they have watched the worst film of all time. And i thought one I saw in Singapore about a skateboarding monkey was the worst ever....how wrong i was.